It felt almost like a sneak attack Tuesday. Throughout the day, I acknowledged the occasion in my own way. Trying to be positive and upbeat, I thought of the years I had with my sister and enjoyed re-living some of those memories. Then, that evening, I was bombarded with all sorts of emotions that lead into the next day. Sitting at my desk at work, tears began to well up inside of me and spill out through the corner of my eyes.
No one mentioned my sister on her birthday, and that hurt … deeply.
While she’s no longer physically here with us on this earth, I like to think that she is always, and will forever be, with me in spirit and in my heart. Yet, without any mention of her, it hit a nerve and struck one of my greatest fears. Have people forgotten about her? Were her 32 years on this earth for nothing? I think NOT! Although she’s been gone 15 years, which seems like a lifetime to some, it still seems like it was yesterday to our family. The circumstances surrounding her death magnify the loss we feel deep within right to the very core of our being.
And so I allowed the emotions to flow. I felt the feelings and allowed the tears.
I didn’t hold it inside as the next day, I voiced my concern to a few friends who reminded me that Pam will never be forgotten. From my heart, I truly hope they are right. I’d like to think she touched a place in people’s hearts and lives, and I cannot fathom no one else being affected by her loss 15 years later. Surely there are others out there thinking of her and wishing things had been different. We can’t be the only ones. Right?
And so I vow today, just as I have every day since July 9, 2001 when our hearts shattered over the loss of my only sibling,
“I will remember you.”