A misunderstanding occurred over the weekend via text, of all things. Two friends were talking back and forth when one took something the wrong way. You’re at a true disadvantage when you can’t hear the person’s tone of voice or see their facial expressions. It makes it much harder to communicate effectively at times.
Something light-hearted and teasing was sent, but it was not received as such. The person took offense, spouted off, and in that instance, feelings were hurt. A sting was felt inside one’s heart. Tears began to sting their eyes, but they blinked them back so as not to allow it to get the best of them.
When they finally were able to express themselves, they admitted they were a little bit hurt. The response almost written back immediately was, “I did nothing to hurt you …”
And they froze.
Here’s the thing. You don’t get to decide whether you did something or not to hurt someone’s feelings. If THEY felt hurt by something you said or did, that is their perception. Like it or not, their perception becomes their reality!
And silence fell between them.
I learned a long time ago that feelings aren’t right or wrong, they just ARE.
I’ve been told I’m a highly sensitive person, as if that was a flaw in my personality. It’s a good thing I don’t view it that way, though. I’m anything but flawed! Just because I might feel deeper than most or might be struck by something that wouldn’t bother another person, that does not make me weak or flawed in any stretch of the imagination.
I am me, and I will not apologize for that. You shouldn’t either!
Feeling as deep as I do at times allows for me to show compassion to others. Compassion is something that is lacking in this world today, so I’m proud of my feelings and ability to make sure people know that they matter in this world.
That you do get to decide. You choose how you want to be with the world. You have a say in how you want to interact with people. But you do not get to decide whether someone is offended or hurt by something you said or did. It doesn’t work that way … at … all.
You might be trying to get the responsibility off of your shoulders so you won’t feel bad. That’s great – but I’m woman enough to own my feelings and emotions. I recognize them, allow them to be for the moment, but I will not be controlled by them. I am able to be rational about things and push my feelings aside to work. But deny my feelings so that someone else feels better? I will not! And neither should you!