My beautiful, beautiful girl … where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday I was praying asking God to bless me with a sweet little bundle of joy. I prayed so hard for you. I asked God to please let me have a healthy little baby, my heart’s desire. Nothing else mattered in the world when I became a mother – only you, sweet baby girl. My heart soared with excitement when I found out I was pregnant, and I loved you from that moment on! I talked to you, read to you, sang to you – all before you were ever born. I was so proud to walk around holding my belly knowing that my precious little one was kicking and turning inside of me. I felt every ripple, every elbow, every foot under the rib, and I loved every single minute of it. I had this precious tiny little life growing inside of me – a precious gift that God above entrusted me with. My only purpose in life was to be the best mother I could possibly be for you.
The day of your arrival could not get here fast enough. I wanted so badly to hold you in my arms, to cradle you with my love. You came into this world so quietly, not a single peep out of you – my heart fell out of my chest with worry at that moment. It took a few minutes before you squeaked and grunted, but you did not cry. I begged to hold you, to have you near me. Tears streaming down my face as they finally laid you in my arms. I held you so close to me, and you looked up at me with your beautiful, perfect features. Your beautiful blue eyes sparkling back at me. You were absolutely perfect. Ten sweet little finger and ten sweet little toes … you had my heart before you were ever born, but that moment when I held you in my arms, I knew I would do anything and everything for you – I would die for you, I would lay down my life for you, dear one.
I did not want to let you out of my sight. They had to take you to the nursery to weigh you and clean you, but they could not bring you back quick enough for me. I was chomping at the bit waiting for my baby to return to my room. When they brought you back to me, I held you for hours, looking at your beautiful skin, my very own little miracle baby sent from Heaven above. God truly did give me my heart’s desire.
You were born on an extremely cold Winter’s night in January, at 10:26 p.m., weighing in at 5 lbs. 15 ½ ounces. We brought you home from the hospital where you were quiet for a few nights, and I did not sleep for I was up watching over you to make sure you were safe all through the night. On the third day, you decided to exercise your lungs good fashion, and as colic set in, you let us hear you quite a bit after that. My heart went out to you as your little tummy was hurting, and we tried going from breast milk to the best formula money could buy. We finally found the right combination, and you settled down after a few weeks and all was right in the world again.
I treasure each and every moment as your mother – I cherish the time I have had to witness your growth, from the miracle of feeling life inside of my tummy, to the tantrums, to the laughter, through the tears, the growing pains – life as your mother has been a perfect journey because I have been allowed the ultimate gift of being YOUR mother.
I enjoy reflecting back on the times we have had together – from the times you screamed at the top of your lungs, to the times you laughed until your little face turned red as you threw your head back and laughed so hard you almost didn’t have any more air in your lungs to make a sound, and yet more laughter would come from my beautiful blonde hair, blue eyed Princess. I remember having “silly time” and running down the hall with a tutu on our heads pretending we were all getting married – even Dusty participating in this event with his very own tu-tu with matching lipstick. You were there the day he proposed to me at the Battery in Charleston along the harbor. Your eyes lit up when you realized what he held in his hand, a sparkling ring, as he kneeled down in front of us to ask for my hand in marriage, and your approval, asking you to become his daughter as well. You were included in the wedding ceremony as my Maid of Honor. You wore a flowing white dress with matching shoes, and a bouquet of flowers that were beautiful in and of itself but could not compare to the beauty of the one holding it – that person being you, my dear Brittney. That day we became a family. You were not only with me on that very special day, but you were very much a part of the wedding ceremony and have been an important part of my life – you are the very reason that I have life in me to this day. You are and always have been my reason to live. My sole purpose in life is not to be a worker, an employee, a manager … not one of those things matter at all. My sole purpose in this life is to be your mother. You are my reason to live. You are the air I breathe.
You have grown so much through the years. From toddler giggles and playing dress up in my shoes and make up, to a gorgeous 16 year old beauty queen that is preparing for her high school ring ceremony, Junior/Senior prom; from discovering lipstick for the first time to your first date, from pronouncing words such as “slip-lie” and “frid-er-frader” to studying for your SAT and preparing for college! Where, oh where has the time gone? It has gone way too fast, this I know for sure.
As much as I wish I could still fit you in my lap, holding you tightly as I rock you and sing “Jesus Loves Me” and “You Are My Sunshine,” I know that you have to grow, to flourish, to become your own independent person. This process has not been easy on your ole mom over here, but I am trying to let you be your own person … I am trying to give you some freedom, but please, dear God, I beg, please don’t let these next few years go by so fast. I want to savor every moment. My little girl is growing up way too fast, and all I can do is watch her go … love her, allow her to be her own person … help her along the way, but watch her spread her wings and fly … please don’t fly too far away, dear Brittney …
I love you more than words could ever say, more than you’ll ever know in this lifetime … and no matter how old you get, you will always … ALWAYS … be my “little girl.”
I am so proud of you. I love you to the moon and stars.
Always & Forever,