Light, Love, Hope

From the time we get up in the morning until we go to bed, we have things pulling on us.  There are multiple deadlines that need to be met, and everyone seems to want something from us.  We feel overwhelmed at times and wish for some quiet time.  When we are finally afforded the opportunity and the house is silent, do we enjoy it?  Or do we end up feeling lonesome?

We spend the majority of our time at work with mere acquaintances.  Throughout the day our hearts may long for our loved ones, but we are surrounded by chaos at work.  We just need a minute!  Until we don’t …

Silence can be deafening to those who do not like to be alone with their thoughts.  I’ve been there with hours spent on the lawn mower reflecting on things in my life.  For me, I was lonesome without my daughter when she had to be away, and I welcomed her with open arms for “the biggest hug ever” every single time she returned home.  This was something we both looked forward to upon her return home, and she would run straight into my awaiting arms with the biggest smile on her face!

What a sweet reunion!

I can see her now with her golden locks bouncing as she scrambles out of the vehicle and clinches her fists as she starts to run.  Bright blue eyes widen in anticipation and an excited smile forms on her face.  She runs straight into my arms!  Giggling, I spin her around and tell her how much I love her!

That vision is as clear now as it was 20 years ago.

And yes, I was lonesome without the house full of laughter from my firstborn baby girl.

Eight years later, her sister joined us!  We were so overjoyed when God allowed our little miracle baby to come into this world.  What a blessing both of our daughters have been and always will be!  Now our daughters will have a forever friend in each other as sisters!   When once I worried about my oldest walking alone in life, I no longer had to think of that.  She and her sister now have each other, and I rest in the reassurance of this for them both.  I know how much my sister meant to me, and I am thankful knowing despite the eight years between them, they are close!  They have each other!

Ah, but my youngest was, indeed, lonesome when her big sister had to go away every other weekend.  We tried to fill the void until her playmate returned home.  They would play fight with each other or even sometimes temporarily be mad at each other for taking something out of their rooms.  This was quickly forgiven, and all was right in their worlds again as they giggled and played together once more.

Both girls knew of my online friends and eventually spent time with them in person as well.  Later, they, too, developed friendships with people they met online.  When once they may have tried to fill the void and loneliness they felt at various times by occupying themselves online, the friendships grew until they became the very best of friends.  I have been present when my daughters met their online friends for the very first time in person!  In fact, I videoed both times they met their online friends for the very first time.

The world wide web can be a very useful tool, indeed!

I find it ironic to be writing about such a topic today. You see today is one of my least favorite days of the year. It is just a sad reminder to me of how I frequently feel, alone.

As I meandered my way through the forum topics, certain people began to stand out. It was the way they presented themselves through their words, the style of their writing. I became captivated as I read through this beautiful writing. It wasn’t the topics, it was the presentation that was filled with feeling an emotion in the words being displayed.

It is interesting that one of the most commons sayings you hear throughout your life is, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” I think that is completely wrong. Believing that some thing or someone is beautiful is not about the visual or audible aspect. It is about the feeling in your heart that arises when you see or hear that person or see that sunrise or sunset. It is that feeling in your heart when you hear the laugh of a child. That is what defines in your soul what is beautiful to you and only you.

That feeling will make you stop and see things you wouldn’t necessarily notice. It can happen anywhere, because of anything or any person. It is something that science cannot explain away with logic or data because it comes from your heart. That is where you hold it, you treasure it, to keep if there forever. That is what beautiful is.

Finding people that “get” you is hard in the real world.  On the rare occasion that you do find someone you immediately click with, you treasure that!  You realize it is truly a gift.

Imagine the surprise when genuine friendships were formed and bonds made that span 20 plus years!  What a blessing having found that in these beautiful people I met “online.”  They weren’t scary after all.  Instead, they were the best friends I never knew I needed in life, until we found each other in an online forum.

It takes a bold move to put yourself out there.  You hope by putting on a brave face you will be accepted and in turn have a friend walk alongside you in life.  Shyknight took that step, despite his reservations in doing so.  Likeminded people did the same, and we soon found forever friends in each other.

One post intrigued us, and that post lead to nights of playful bantering back and forth among people we would soon call friends.

A phone call placed lead to hours of laughter.

An extended invitation lead to days of fun adventures together in another state!

I was invited into “his” world and took another flight to Illinois!  The sweet Southern Belle was like a fish out of water any time she opened her mouth on this trip.  A trip to Shyknight’s workplace lead to individuals asking questions JUST to hear the southern accent and southern drawl.  This one lady did not even try to disguise her laughter as she admitted wishing to hear more as I floundered around trying not to act as awkward as I felt.

We have had many visits since then.  One visit stands out especially in my mind as I reflect back fondly on the evening we all spent together with his aunt.  She enjoyed playing games!  We gathered around her dining room table and filled several hours laughing and joking with each other.  My youngest daughter was soaking up every moment, taking breaks, of course, to play with his aunt’s dog, Toby.  On another occasion, we all went to dinner with his aunt.  It was an honor to be among his family and to have them become a part of my own!

Through the years, Shyknight became “Uncle Greg” to my daughters.  He has been a witness to important events in our lives such as the marriage of my oldest daughter to the love of her life just last year.

Who would have EVER thought that a chance meeting in an online forum would result in holidays spent together?