Coming Clean
With the data breach and hacking on the ashleymadison.com website, a lot of people have been forced to “come clean.” While the focus has been on the Duggars and poor Anna (the cheating husband’s wife), there are many other faceless victims out there. I say faceless because they aren’t as well known as the Duggars, and their pictures aren’t on the news, in entertainment magazines, or websites. They are the faceless victims that discover the truth about a spouse that they loved and gave their whole selves to without hesitation at one point. Now, they are trying to grasp the sanity that is quickly escaping them as they find out the truth about someone that was once their entire heart and soul, their life, and their future. Feeling unsure of what the future may hold now, they sit in shock, wondering if feeling will ever return to their grief stricken bodies and knowing full well that when it does, it will bring the most excruciating pain ever imaginable with it.
Loss of appetite. Loss of sleep. Feeling sick to your stomach as if you could vomit at any given moment. These are just the beginning when you realize the truth about someone that kept this part of themselves hidden for so long. The tears, the unrecognizable sobs that escape your mouth that seem to come from your very toes … it hurts THAT much.
And why?
When it finally comes out, can they honestly say that it was worth it all? The lies, the cheating, the betrayal, the withholding information, the deception. Was it worth it? Was it worth losing your family over? Some times, people even lose their jobs, their livelihood. In the end, was it worth it? Those pictures, the magazines, the porn videos that only leave you wanting more, the sex addiction that progresses to seeking out “hook up” sites for casual sex or prostitutes … the extramarital affairs, one night stands, or even curiosity of what those dating sites might hold … was it worth it in the end when you lose your family and your job?
How many would go and do it all over again if they knew the high cost of their actions?
It had to be difficult living a double life. They had to be extremely miserable as they tried to act as normal as possible while feeling anything but … deep inside they probably felt dirty and like the piece of trash they were looking at on the computer screen or talking to via email, texts, or maybe even in person if it progressed to that point.
Why get on those sites in the first place? They’re not there seeking a good wholesome individual to settle down and raise a family with. Why won’t they realize that people on those sites are not people they would want to introduce their children to. These are NOT the type of people to be proud to bring home to Mama either. So why the draw to such individuals? What is so attractive about lowering themselves to this point to consider being with these types of people? For what? A few moments of pleasure? Whether they’re pleasing themselves or sleeping with someone while their devoted and loving spouse sits at home feeling neglected, lonely, and unloved … why such a high appeal for this type of life?
Now the information is readily available and accessible for ALL of their wrongdoings. God already knew, and I believe God hung His head and wept each time they took part in ANY of the dishonorable things that they were doing. He cried because this is not the life He wanted for His child – neither the one doing it nor the one that it was being done to. I believe it grieved Jesus. Imagine the heart wrenching cries from their spouse … and even more coming straight from Jesus Christ.
It’s time for it to stop. All of it. If they would only come clean and never go back there again.
For those that have been doing it, you’re going to get burned. If you don’t believe me, ask ANY person that was once wrapped up in this sin. They didn’t get out of it unscathed. Neither will you or your family.
In coming clean, they free themselves from the web of lies that they’ve spun, and they free themselves from the bondage that this had on them. They break the chains that tied them to the stuff that they once did in secret, in darkness, and kept hidden for way too long. Oh the distance they have put into place between those that love them and those they proclaim to love.
The anger they feel stems from the double life they were living, the lies they told, and covering their tracks. They would be amazed, if they would only realize, how freeing it will be when they finally get tired of living this double life, come clean, and STAY clean while walking the straight and narrow now in their relationships and marriages. This will no longer have a stronghold in their lives so the anger that has welled up inside of them will be replaced with peace. God’s peace. God’s love. God’s forgiveness.
It’s time for the healing to begin. Only with God’s help is this possible.
Words
Your words have the power to hurt, to heal, open minds, open hearts,
and change the world.
Never forget the responsibility you have
over the words you speak.
Steven Aitchison
In the mist of discovering something that shattered her heart, she failed to maintain her composure this time around. She let words fly out of her mouth to assault his ears, just as this new discovery assaulted her heart of hearts bringing her to her knees.
No, she didn’t fall before the offender on her knees begging … nor did she dissolve into a puddle of tears pleading.
Instead, she fell to her knees before the Lord. The ONLY one that can truly comfort her. She drew nearer to her Savior, the one that promises to be near to the brokenhearted. She called out His name, and He appeared at once wrapping His strong and mighty arms around her, providing strength when she felt weak and as if she could not go on.
And she can’t.
Not like this.
Not with new found information.
Not with wondering what is going to come out next.
Not with questions without answers or answers that will shatter her once more.
She stops wondering what else there is to know … because she knows the One who is all knowing.
The questions torment her. She agonizes over so many things from the past wondering why. This isn’t the life she signed up for, and yet, here she is living it the best she knows how.
But God …
BUT GOD steps in. She cries out to Him and says, “God, I can’t do this on my own. I can’t do this without you. I NEED YOU …” and He swoops down to comfort His child.
She sobs into His chest. “Why, Father? As good as I was to him … ” and her words trail off as His fingertip wipes away her tears.
Extending her hands in front of her now, she gives it all to Him … “Here, Father, take this from me, take it ALL from me … I give all of my worries, sorrows, heartache, and pain, all of my questions, hurtful answers, his half truths, outright lies, deceit, betrayal, unfaithfulness … all things known and unknown … I give it ALL to you, Father!! It is yours. Work it out the best way you know how, Father.”
And her hands, now cupped together, with fully extended arms in front of her, she lifts it up high to the Heavens before God, Almighty. He takes it from her hands … every … single … thing that has tormented her and caused her pain. In their place, He provides peace, He extends His love to cover all things, and He comforts her broken and weary heart.
She lays her head on His shoulder now, fully trusting and relying on God. She cried out to Him, and He showed up.
Now it is all changing … shifting … improving …
No, not because of a mere mortal man realizing the error in his ways or his wrongdoings ….
Because God has His hand ALL over this situation and arms wrapped securely around His child. She walks confidently in Him now … with the knowledge that she isn’t fighting this alone any more. The Mighty Warrior steps up and steps out, fully equipped to fight this battle and win this war.
Better yet, seeing her strength, which was only possibly through Christ, he turns toward her asking, “How do I do that … I want what you have …”
He doesn’t want to be like this forever. He’s willing to change.
And so she shares with him how he, too, can have this through Christ, Our Lord.
As their entire world changes ….
The End of Summer
As we approach the end of Summer, allow me to reminisce just a little …
My husband, Dusty, and I enjoyed our time at Cedar Creek Horse Camp at the beginning of August. While it was nearing 100 degrees when we left home, it was very refreshing to find 70 degree weather welcoming us as we reached the camp.
We stayed in Camper 10 and highly recommend it as it was furnished with everything we needed (bathroom included – ha! Laugh if you will, but not ALL camp sites had these facilities. There was a big “bath house” for use, but we wanted our very own!).
Our horses enjoyed lush green pastures and taking breaks under the wooden shelter. One of our horses, Sugar, is an escape artist, and she made her way through the three strands of wire into the larger, greener pasture just outside of where she was residing that weekend! Yes, this was a “freak out moment” when we discovered she had gotten out, but thankfully it was just inside to another pasture and not like she was out running loose visiting the neighbors. Thankfully, the outside fencing had three wooden boards, so she didn’t try anything in that direction.
Shortly after checking things out at camp Friday, we tacked up our horses and headed out to find a trail with waterfalls nearby! With hoof boots on the horses, we were well prepared for what we would encounter on certain parts of the trails. We started off at Lake Imaging and made our way around the mountain, through the covered bridge, and on to High Point Falls. Two hikers were walking by about the same time we were admiring the falls, and they were gracious enough to take a few pictures of us on horseback with the beautiful flowing waterfall behind us. I — the Picture Queen — was not about to let this moment in time pass me by without a picture of us living our dream!
Saturday we were up early and on Gunion trail. We encountered a creek where one of our horses, Arizona, went through just fine. Sugar, on the other hand, thought she had to jump off of the rock and over the creek to get to the other side with me on her back! Seeing as how I have not had ANY prior jumping experience, it was exhilarating yet scary all at the same time. Hey, I managed to stay on, so that has to account for something! Thankfully I pay attention when I watch others jump! What’s funny to me is that she’s been through water before, but for some reason, she had it in her mind that she needed to jump this time. This silly horse makes me laugh but also provides lots of love and is good therapy back home!
We took a midday break but were back on the trails going to Hooker Falls Saturday afternoon. The horses were a big hit on this trail with all of the people around. It was as if they were celebrities as people gathered to pet and take pictures of our horses.
Sunday we decided to hit the trails one last time before heading home. This time, we went to a trail off of Reasonover Road. We went up, up, and away … around the mountainside near steep slopes and encountered bare rock on this ride. Thankfully, once we reached Bridal Veil Falls, we were able to circle around a different direction and ride where it wasn’t quite so challenging. We enjoyed seeing the old barn and then on to the airstrip on the mountain before making our way around the lake and back to the parking lot to head out.
We thank God for His hand of protection over us and for allowing us to have bonding time with our horses that weekend.
And thank you, Dear Readers, for traveling along with us as we reminisced about the fun we had this summer!
