Happy 4th of July
Red, white, and blue flags are flying high with Lee Greenwood’s song ringing in my ears. Oh yes, I AM proud to be an American! Right now we are free, and I pray that we will stay that way. With the recent happenings in our state and the attention being drawn to another flag, the Confederate Flag, we hope that our freedom won’t be taken away much like there is talk of them taking down that particular flag. Heritage, not hate, is what that flag stands for, but so many view it differently. It is a source of pain for them. A reminder of a time when their ancestors didn’t have freedom. But thank God, we’re all free today!
Freedom. So many take that for granted. We have so many privileges here in the United States, so many opportunities. Let us not forget that we have our freedom due to young men and women who fought and who are currently fighting hard for our great Country. Take time to remember them today as the vast majority are not able to be home to celebrate Independence Day with their family.
Make memories. Lots of them! My daughter’s boyfriend is on his way to the beach tomorrow morning to kick off his 4th of July celebrations. They will laugh, soak up the sun, and get sand between their toes. They will come back refreshed, with sun kissed skin, and lots of memories that will carry them through the rest of their lives They will look back on this Summer and smile. Precious memories will be made this week with their family, and maybe they’ll remember to take a picture or two along the way to share. That’s what it’s all about, though. Make memories with your family this 4th of July!
Hold your loved ones close. My coworker is off this week as well to share time in the mountains with her two adult sons. This time will be different, though, than vacations in the past. She’s spoken to me about how this will be a lavish trip. She will make sure that she spares no expense as she hasn’t been with her sons on vacation in about ten years. About two years ago, she was told she has Lymphoma. She went through chemo that made her physically sick and weak. She suffered through the treatments, lost her hair, and struggled to find her sense of normal again. After her hair started to grow back, she felt she had a new lease on life. She was told she needed maintenance chemo, but this would not be the type that she had before. Thankfully, it wouldn’t make her as sick, and she wouldn’t lose her precious locks this time around. The treatments are so expensive, though, that she said she is no longer able to continue with them. In 2016, she has realized that she will not have the money for her maintenance chemo, so she is splurging on this vacation with her sons and is making those memories while she still can. Hearing this brought tears to my eyes. The thought that she’s having this extravagant vacation with them because she fears it will be their last. So, she’s going all out while she can. I gently reminded her to take those pictures. She isn’t one for pictures, unlike myself. I snap pictures all the time, every where, and LOVE it. But now is the time she truly needs to take the camera out, dust it off, and snap those memories so that her sons will have something to hold in their hands to remember the great time they had together. I wish that for them all. That this will be a beautiful time of bonding for Mother and Sons.
What about you? What will you do this 4th of July to celebrate our freedom? Whatever you do, make it count. Don’t let the day go by unnoticed. Whether you deck all out in your finest American attire showing your American pride, or you kick back at the lake to enjoy the beautiful array of colors that light up the sky, make every second count. You won’t get a “do over.” You will not be able to get this day back. Enjoy it to the fullest. Do an act of kindness for someone. Share your smile. And love. Show your love for your fellow man. That might be the only bit of God that some people see is through you. Shine your light proudly, and if given the chance … when someone notices your happiness and wants to know how they can find that happiness, too … lead them to Jesus.
Happy 4th of July to you all.
Bereaved Parents Month
You may associate July with fun in the sun and enjoying Summer days with your children. We want you to make memories and share in their laughter. We truly do. Sadly, though, July has another meaning to many people as it is Bereaved Parents Month. Will you please stop for a moment and pray for parents everywhere that have lost their children?
About a month ago, a couple in our community lost their precious son who was just over a year old. They are still very much at a loss as to how to go on when their hearts have been ripped out of their chests after losing their son. They have been sharing their story and adorable pictures of their son all while encouraging people to draw closer to God. Their goal right this minute is to bring awareness to Bereaved Parents Month, and we are dedicating this blog post to Remembering Riggs to help with their efforts.
While I do not know the couple personally, I was invited to “like” their Facebook page by one of my friends that does know them. I did so in order to show my support and offer my prayers at this very difficult time that God will comfort as only He can. I’ll be honest. Some of the posts are so heart wrenching, I choke back tears as I read them. This dear mother is hurting so badly, as all mothers everywhere are that have lost their beloved children. The fathers are hurting, too.
My parents probably have no idea that this is Bereaved Parents Month, just as I was not aware until Caroline, the mother of Riggs, brought this to our attention in one of her posts on her Facebook page. My parents lost their oldest daughter on July 9, 2001. Caroline is so fresh in her grief after just losing Riggs a month ago. It is so raw and hurts right to the very core of her being. Although some time has passed and time has lessened the overwhelming pain that they once felt, my parents still remember the loss and the waves of grief that swept over and slammed into them just like it was yesterday. Caroline posted not too long ago about how the pain is so great at times that she doesn’t want to get out of bed, yet she pushes herself to do so. This truly is a grief like none other that cripples you emotionally.
Please pray for parents everywhere that have lost their sweet children. No matter what age they were when they passed, whether it was just a year old like Riggs or 32 years old like my sister when my parents lost her … it still hurts. It is so incredibly sad and heart breaking to think of how they lost little Riggs at just a year old, and yet, during his short life, he has touched so many far and wide. He is still touching people’s hearts today through his mother sharing her heartfelt words with the world.
So many precious lives were cut short, and we’ll never know why. Only God holds those answers … and now He is holding these precious children until the parents are reunited with them in Heaven when God calls them home.
Will you please consider visiting and sharing Caroline’s page, Remembering Riggs? We would like to help her bring awareness to Bereaved Parents Month so people around the globe can pray extra hard for these parents that lost their precious children. They are hurting so badly, and they need all of the support, love, and prayers they can get.
A Time For Everything
I visited the cemetery today. With all that is going on in the world, I had an overwhelming need to slip away. Feeling as if things were pulling at me every which way I turned, I knew that no one would pull at me here; the cemetery. So, I slipped away.
First, I stopped to get a delicious treat, as my sister and I used to always go to lunch together during the week. This would be different, though. It has been different for close to 14 years now. With peanut butter fudge milkshake in hand, I seemed to have tunnel vision all the way to the cemetery.
My gold Tahoe approached the gravel entrance to the cemetery where the American Flag and our State Flags were flapping in the hot breeze that swept across the green grass and headstones. I came to a complete stop next to an old tree that looks like there isn’t much life left in it. With no leaves and the branches bare, it just stands there on the corner not even providing a little bit of shade on this hot day.
Sitting in my car for a moment longer soaking up the air conditioning, I drew in a deep breath and made myself get out of the comfort of my Tahoe. Reaching into the backseat, I claimed the beautiful cross I purchased just yesterday at Michael’s that had such beautiful flowers on the front of the cross. When I saw it, I knew I had to have it. And so, with cross in hand, I make my way down the concrete walkway that would take me to my sister’s graveside.
Sighing heavily, it seemed to take forever to reach her grave. Then there I stood, looking down at the marker with her name on it. It’s hard to believe that this is our reality. It has almost been 14 years now, and yet, I remember every single detail just like it was yesterday. I remember the shock and terror that rushed through my veins that morning as I feared the worst and learned that it was true. My worst nightmare had become reality as my sister had taken her life. Postpartum depression claimed another victim. My heart and soul, to the core of my being, still mourns the great loss of my sister, my one and only sibling.
What made me go today, of all days? In this 101 degree heat with high Southern humidity? The overwhelming need, feeling as if I was literally drawn to their gravesides. Those of my sister, my great grandparents, as well as my grandparents.
With all of the talk of the deaths lately, with nine people being gunned down in our state a little over a week ago … and with coverage of the mourners … as well as my daughter’s boyfriend still fresh in his grief having lost his grandfather four months ago today … I had to be closer to pay my respects.
The cemetery is not a place I frequent. I haven’t been out there in a while, and I’m sure my parents and other family members have shaken their head and felt disappointment in me for not going more often. I Just can’t. Some people find great comfort there. It is their loved ones resting place. They gain some form of comfort by “visiting” with them there. For me, though, I prefer to just speak to my loved ones no matter where I am or what I’m doing. I don’t have to visit their grave to do that. Actually, I feel that I have signs of them visiting me at my home from time to time as little dragon flies, butterflies, and Cardinals appear seemingly right when I need a reminder that they are there and that love remains even if they are no longer physically here on this earth. Sure, others could argue over these “signs” or “visits” from my loved ones, but I have my own beliefs and will not be swayed.
I’m reminded that there is a time for everything (see Ecclesiastes 3).
Today was my time to visit, to allow myself to mourn a little, to feel these feelings and cry if I needed to let it out.
Yesterday my niece turned 14 years old. My niece. The one that we haven’t been allowed much contact with since my sister’s passing on that hot July day. Our time to laugh and celebrate on June 25th, when my niece was born, soon turned to a time to mourn and cry just two weeks later on July 9th when my sister took her own life due to the overwhelming emotional pain she felt due to postpartum depression. And yet, we had no idea how bad it truly was.
I am sad today for what I’ve witnessed on Facebook from my 14 year old niece. As much as I wish, want, and would have preferred things to be different, I had no say in this. It was out of my hands and has been this entire time. My sister would not have stood for her daughter to have grown up the way she has, and yet, she was not here to see to it that she grew up any differently. I am sad for how this 14 year old has been motherless all of these years and how we were really not allowed to be a part of her life for the majority of her 14 years. She went to live with her other grandparents, and my former brother-in-law pretty much has not been a father to her all of these years either (she said this once to my parents about him). He pulled away, and he once blamed her for his wife’s death saying that had his daughter not been born, his wife would still be here. NO … it was wrong to blame the innocent child that did not ask to be born. It is extremely sad what has happened, but we can’t blame her. She was innocent in this all, and yet, he withdrew pretty much from her all the while not allowing our side of the family to be with her much at all. Visits here and there were briefly allowed before he took her right back from us. I stopped counting after four times of him snatching this baby from me. Yes, I was allowed to have her briefly when she was a baby, then she was taken from me again until she was a toddler. Then I was allowed a little time only for her to be taken back from us once more. As she grew into a child, I had brief encounters with her, but her behavior was so extreme, violent, and just out of control that we could not get her on a regular basis even if they would have allowed it at that point.
Today I allowed the feelings.
Tomorrow I will be better.
There is a time for everything.
