Light, Love, Hope

What is a name? We all know that answer, right? Or do we really?

In most cases, places on the Internet allow us to create our own user name. It was that way in the Lounge. It allows you to keep your privacy and for people like me give us a little courage to reach out to others. Letting a person create their own user name allows you to personify that name. For me, ShyKnight fit two of my personality traits. The Mad Lurker showcased my tendency to just hide around the corner and listen. Then there was PoetChef for another account which showcased my love of literature and cooking. And last but not least, PartTimeBard which was the musician part of me.

I must warn you that you should be careful of autocorrect when creating your user name which I know from personal experience. I was signing up for a singles app and thought I would use PartTimeBard for my user name. I typed it in and clicked create account before I realized autocorrect had change it to…

PartTimeBarf.

Yes, I was now PartTimeBarf on a dating app. And of course, it wouldn’t let me change the name. So there I am forever PartTimeBarf.

But let’s get back to what a name really is. A name alone is meaningless. It is just a collection of characters put together. There is nothing there. What makes a name stand out is you. You give your name strength, emotion, meaning. It’s how you act and treat those around you that defines your name.

You are what a name truly is.

Imagine the “lounge” having cobblestone streets like those in historic downtown Charleston, South Carolina.  When you least expected it, The Mad Lurker would slowly crawl out of the cracks and crevices with his shenanigans.  Tiptoeing into each “room” of our online oasis, he would survey the conversation, and then BAM … insert a comment immediately resulting in chaos amongst the moderators!  Before long, all of the little village people joined in, and we were hooting and hollering.

Those were the good ole days!

Stepping out into the daylight, he removed the shiny armor that protected him so well, placing it on the ground.  Picking up the cape with TML embossed on it, he placed it over his shoulders and stood with his feet shoulder length apart, hands fully on his hips, and a black masquerade mask over his eyes.

Who was that masked man?

Ah … Sir Shyknight, of course!  For, he had taken on another persona in The Mad Lurker.  We always knew he had it in him.  His playful nature was allowed to come forth once he cast his inhibitions aside.

And, if I may, I’d like to go back to the alarming phone call at my place of work all those years ago.  Fogel placed the initial call, and maybe my memory wanted to remember it as Shyknight. Maybe the softspoken Southern Belle wanted it to be him on the other end of the line, thus the way my memory played tricks on me as I began to write.  But alas, I, too, took on another persona as I slipped out of my Antebellem dress, and placed my lace hankie on the dresser.  I stepped out into my boldness and became a warrioress.

As time passes, our memories can become something different than what actually happened. That is not to say a person is necessarily not telling what actually happened, but they are telling how they remember it in the now not in the past.

As is normal for me, I bounce from one spectrum to another like a rubber ball. I will have an underlying feeling of courage to become an open participant in a conversation or activity. Then the next moment I am back to the hesitant, afraid little boy that doesn’t want his hand slapped.

To overcome the fearful side of my persona in relation to the forum, I created another account and took the form of an actor playing a part which helps push aside the internal fears. What can anyone say? I am just playing a part. That part was “The Mad Lurker.” The Mad Lurker skulked around the forums peeking into places where he could make a stupid comment or two that then rapidly escape any rebuttal. The Mad Lurker would rarely respond to any comments upon his comments. However, my acting was not that good as I was discovered by a certain someone. The conversations then turned into a playful banter of truly foolish nature that turned into momentous hours of fun.

The thought while writing this is I should have used the name…

The Mad Skulker.