I’m Gonna Love You Through It
It was a cold night with the wind whipping outside her windows. As she got into bed, she pulled the covers up really high over her as she snuggled into the fitted sheet beneath her. Tugging once more on the heavy covers, she lost her grip and her fist rammed against her chest. After feeling the initial pain, it soon subsided enough for her to get some much needed sleep that night.
Over the course of the next couple of days, she found a lump as she was showering. Fear and panic set in, and soon a call was made to the doctor for an appointment. Remembering the incident on that cold Winter’s night, she feared that she caused this due to the blow to her chest. The doctor soon reassured her that wasn’t the case but sent her to a specialist for a more thorough examination. After being sent for a biopsy, we waited for the results … days that seemed more like years …
In the meantime, our local Relay For Life was going on. That Friday evening, I heard Martina McBride’s song for the very first time.
She dropped the phone and burst into tears
The doctor just confirmed her fears
Her husband held it in and held her tight
Cancer don’t discriminate or care if you’re just 38
With three kids who need you in their lives
He said, “I know that you’re afraid and I am, too
But you’ll never be alone, I promise you”
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear
That I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
She made it through the surgery fine
They said they caught it just in time
But they had to take more than they planned
Now it’s forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what the cancer took from her
But she just wants to feel like a woman again
She said, “I don’t think I can do this anymore”
He took her in his arms and said
“That’s what my love is for”
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear
That I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
And when this road gets too long
I’ll be the rock you lean on
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
I’m gonna love you through it.
I sat under the vast sky with only the stage lights on as the young lady sang her version of this song. Tears filled my eyes and soon spilled over making their way down my cheeks as I thought of my mother who was awaiting the results of the biopsy.
Days later, our lives were changed when she received the diagnosis: breast cancer. While she did not cause the breast cancer due to the blow to the chest, that is what caused her to FIND the lump. Otherwise, she never would have felt in that spot, almost directly between her breasts but more so on her left side.
We gathered all of the information needed to make a decision about her treatment, and after consulting with the doctor, he agreed that a lumpectomy was all that was needed. All? As if that wasn’t significant to a woman who would have pieces of her flesh cut away while she and her family prayed that the cancer was contained and had not spread! That was ALL that was needed. That is HUGE to hear that you require ANY type of surgery!
The day came, and we gathered beside my mother’s hospital bed where she laid so quietly. She had her little hospital gown on as well as one of those “hats” they place on your hair. I tried to keep the moment light, even though I knew our hearts were all heavy. I took a picture of my mother and teased her that she was rocking that cap. I still have that picture today.
They wheeled my mother away to the operating room, with us walking along with them as far as they would allow. There came a point where we could not go with her, and we tried to remain strong as they rolled her out of sight.
Tears fill my eyes now as I think of this moment in time.
We went back to the waiting room where silent prayers were lifted up to Heaven on my mother’s behalf. Martina McBride’s song was still ringing in my ears.
I’m gonna love you through it!
How very powerful … and such truth!
No matter what, I knew that my family and I would love my mother through this.
They updated us on her progress during the operation, and soon we were able to see her in recovery. When she was released from the hospital, we still had to wait on the results from the lab on the margin and the lymph nodes they removed as well.
Days went by until we finally received the news! Thankfully, it appeared that the cancer was contained, and she would NOT need further surgery nor would she need chemo! Praises went up flooding Heaven thanking God for this wonderful news. While my mother still had to go through radiation, it was much, much better than having to endure chemo. We were thankful … oh so thankful!
My mother’s radiation treatment was going along smoothly until she developed an infection. It was uncomfortable until they were able to get it under control. She finished her treatments and is now on a pill that she will take for five years to keep the cancer from coming back. We pray … oh how we pray … that she will remain cancer free!
My heart goes out to any one that has ever had to go through this themselves … or whether you’ve watched, prayed, and loved your friends or family members through it. When you felt as if you could not do anything for that person … you did! You prayed! AND you loved them through it all … their worries and concerns that lead to the doctor visit, their diagnosis, and then the treatment … you loved them through it all … and THAT is what they need most. Your love, support, and prayers!
Blessed
Did you wear your green today? After all, it was St. Patrick’s Day. Do you have the luck of the Irish with you?
When things happen in life, a lot of times people will say how lucky you are. Me? I say, “I’m not lucky, I’m blessed!”
God has poured out His blessings upon my life and my family. That is not to say that my life has always been a bed of roses, because it certainly hasn’t. I have had my fair share of troubles in this life. But, I am choosing to look up and thank God for life!
It is a privilege to be here on this earth. God woke me up this morning, and I am so thankful to Him because it is another day that I get to spend with my family making memories. It is another day that I get to love on and ride my horses.
I don’t take any of this for granted.
I appreciate each and every minute that God gives me.
There are so many that don’t get to grow older. Their time here on this earth was cut short, and only God knows why. My sister, Pamela, is a prime example, as is Greg’s sister, Julia. We don’t understand why they had to leave when they did, but God knows. He called them both home, and I believe that they are with Jesus today in Heaven.
Just this afternoon, despite my ten year old getting sick and tossing her cookies at school, I had such joy as my husband got off work early to help build another horse pasture. My daughter, who was feeling much better by this time, was playing basketball and pretending she was Maddie off of a show called Liv & Maddie. She would exclaim, “Bam! What!” each time she scored, just like Maddie does on this television show. I got to watch that. I got to hear her cute little voice raised high as she excitedly celebrated making it into her make-believe hoop (no, we haven’t yet put one up because we can’t find JUST the hoop … and we don’t need the whole structure with the base, pole, and hoop).
My point in all of this is that I got to witness this. I was the one that had the honor of looking at my darling daughter’s face as she smiled shyly after she realized I not only heard her but was watching her play the entire time.
No, I’m not lucky to get these memories-in-the-making or these precious moments with my daughter … I am BLESSED!
I had the chance to go alongside my husband to help build this new pasture and pull the fencing tight to ensure the horses didn’t escape from their new home. It was hard work, but I was the one standing next to him pulling the fencing. I shared this moment with him, and we got to bask in the glow of the fruits of our labor when we put two of our horses in the new pasture after our project was complete. We did this. We were blessed to be able to make a new pasture for them and work together to accomplish what we did tonight.
And, I am blessed to share little moments with my now-adult-daughter! She’s 18 now, and I know that my time with her at home is coming to a close in the next few, short years. I am not prepared for this, yet I know it is approaching sooner than I care to think about. Until then, though, I get to tease her, just as she loves to tease me, and we get to share inside jokes together that we just smirk over and some times just bust right out laughing because it’s something that only she and I know about.
Oh yes, I am blessed, even though she only wants to focus on her bands and not her future and what she’s going to do when she graduates in May … as frustrating as it all can be at times … I am still blessed, and I thank God for these moments with her.
I thank God for allowing me to be present and in her life all of these years. I have always prayed that God would allow me to be here for both of my children as they grow up and to allow me to see them graduate, go to college, get married, and have children of their own. I have often said that I want to be an old lady rocking her great-great-grandbabies on her front porch. And I still want that! I want to be in good health so that I am able to help my children with their children and things around their house. I pray that God will grant this as it is my heart’s desire to be here for my children, and I do pray that God will allow me to be healthy for many, many, many years to come in order to lend a helping hand when needed as they become independent and start lives of their own.
When so many grumble about turning another year older, I count it a blessing to be here all of my 43 years and beg God for 43 more! No, there won’t be any grumbling or complaining about turning another year older for me. I’ll be thanking God for one more year with my family and pleading for many more years to come.
So on this St. Patrick’s Day, I’m not lucky … I am BLESSED completely and totally by GOD above! And I thank Him. Oh how I thank Him for ALL of the many blessings in my life.
Do Unto Others
Growing up I heard this a lot: Do unto others as you would have done to you. The “Golden Rule” to live by! In fact, did you know that not only is this the “Golden Rule,” but it is biblical, too! It truly is. Luke 6:31 is where Jesus says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”
Sadly, it seems that the vast majority of people were not taught this in their childhood, or they let it fly out the window as they became adults.
It truly is sad the way that people treat other people in this day and age. This week I was told about an ex-girlfriend that set the guy up in a situation, he fell for it, and she, then, walked right up to him and slapped him across the face. What makes people think that it is okay to put their hand on another human being? I don’t care how angry she was over the situation, she had no right to lay a single finger on him.
Then, I experienced ill treatment this week myself. No, no one slapped me across the face, thankfully, but I have been discriminated against more times than I care to remember. I hear a lot of African American people that talk about racism, but it goes both ways! Whites can be prejudice against Blacks, just as Blacks can be prejudice against Whites! I was on the receiving end of it once again this week! Allow me to tell you about it.
My daughter and I spent the afternoon together shopping for a prom dress for her upcoming Senior prom. We were having a wonderful day together. After having lunch and laughing over the silliest of things, we walked through the parking lot with the sun beating down on us … a much welcomed change since it has been so cold here!
My daughter spotted a Cinderella type dress in the window that she wanted to try on. Upon walking into the store, we noticed that we were the only white people in there. The owners and workers were all black, as were the few customers that were in the building. That did not bother me at all, though. We went about our business looking at different dresses for her to try on, but they only had ONE Cinderella type dress; the one in the window! So, I asked the lady behind the counter if my daughter could try it on. I was ignored three times until I insisted once more to get someone to acknowledge me and respond. Finally, a lady did, but she would not make eye contact with me. She opened her mouth to talk to me but continued as if she was preoccupied with that scarf she had in her hand. She fingered the corners of the lace and satin cloth as she shifted it here and there, never raising her eyes to meet mine, as she said, “Before we take it off the rack” … long drawn out pause …”Can you afford it, Mom?”
Hold on just a minute! First of all, we were already feeling discriminated against because no one would acknowledge us when I was speaking … and now this? How did she think that was okay? It was as if she, without making eye contact, had summed me up upon my entry into her store. It was as if she thought I was white trash or something that couldn’t possibly afford anything in HER store.
I have had people tell me that I should have walked out right that minute. You know what I did, though? Trying to wipe the shocked look off of my face, I asked her how much the dress cost. Still never making eye contact, she said with a if-you-have-to-ask-you-can’t-afford-it-tone, “It is …” again, long drawn out pause … “$325.00 … three hundred … twenty … five … dollars,” she emphasized.
I never skipped a beat when I said that yes, we could certainly afford that!
Between you and I, do I want to spend that much on a dress that my daughter will only wear one time? NO! But, it isn’t that I can’t afford it. It’s more along the lines of being practical.
Back to my story.
Finally the lady that would not even so much as look me in my face told another lady to get the dress for my daughter to try on. We took our time, and I made sure to get pictures of my daughter in the dress for her to look back on later to decide if she was going to say yes to the dress!
After we took our time in the shop, I did ask how long it would take to get the dress in if we decided to order. I thanked the ladies, and we walked back to our car a bit deflated over the whole experience.
We went to another shop in town, though, and were treated much, MUCH, differently! And … the same exact dress at this shop was $275.00 so not only was the other store much ruder … but they padded the price. I wonder if they did that just because of the color of our skin!
Then today …
My daughter is graduating in May, and her wish for a graduation present is to go to Canada. She has a lot of Canadian friends, and I have a friend that lives there as well. So, we looked into the trip and found that it wasn’t as outrageous as we once thought. We considered driving, but 14 hours in a car with two children isn’t appealing. We will now fly there instead. To do this, though, we needed to get new passports for my daughters as theirs expired in 2013.
We went to the post office today to complete the paperwork for new passports only to be greeted by an African American woman who let it be known immediately that she was going to mistreat any person that did not have her same skin color. It was so obvious from the time we stepped foot into the post office until the time we left. Not only did she have an attitude with us, but we witnessed this with every white person that came into the building. It was a small post office, and this lady was the only one working the counter. She mistreated all whites while catering to those of her same skin color. Remember when I said that racism goes both ways? IT DOES! IT is NOT just whites that can be racist … this is now two incidents in just a week’s time where I feel racism has reared its ugly head.
It matters how you treat people. It truly does! DO UNTO OTHERS … keep that in mind … AS YOU WOULD HAVE DONE TO YOU!
If a white person had treated the black people the way WE were treated in both of the above situations that I described, they would be yelling that we were racist, prejudice, and on and on. BUT WE ARE NOT and never have been. I do not care what color skin you have. I truly don’t! Some of my best friends are black, and I love them dearly!
I know there are some that are still holding on to what the white men did to the blacks back in the slave days. Those days are OVER, though. And, I wasn’t around when that was happening. I bet the people that are still in that mind set today and are holding a grudge against ALL whites were not around during that time period either. So why treat us this way now? We did not have slaves. We did not have any thing to do with what happened to your ancestors. Why hold something beyond our control and in another era against us NOW?
WE ARE ALL MADE BY GOD ABOVE! Just like the song says: “Red and yellow, black and white … they are precious in His sight … Jesus loves the little children of the world.”
NEWSFLASH! WE ARE ALL HIS CHILDREN! NO matter what our skin color, HE formed YOU … HE formed ME … He formed EVERY ONE just the way He wanted them to be and the color HE wanted them to be as well.
WHY can’t we all just get along and put racism behind us once and for all? Why can’t we all go back to the Golden Rule and just start treating each other BETTER and with more respect?
What a wonderful world it would be!
