True Story, Bro!
Several years ago my fiancé and I decided to take a trip to Charleston. It was a place that we absolutely loved due to the history of the city as well as the beauty that you can feast your eyes upon in that holy city. From views at Battery Park of the harbor where you can watch the dolphins at play, to the cobblestone streets, to historic churches and even places like the haunted jail that has a story to tell. There is never a dull moment in this city! The beaches are so close that we have to hop on over to Folly Beach, Sullivan’s Island, or Isle of Palms when we’re in the area. It’s always worth the trip!
This wasn’t just any ole trip, though. On this trip, my fiancé intended to propose to me. I could tell several days leading up to this trip by the way he was acting and the things he was saying. Sure, we had talked about getting married “one day,” but he was Mr. Five-Year-Plan. I can laugh at that now. At the moment, though, I was not amused. Five years? Really? You want me to wait FIVE years? Hmmmm … my biological clock was ticking as I certainly wasn’t getting any younger, and he talked of wanting three children … and yet, he was saying he had a five year plan. Hmmmpht!
My daughter, from a previous marriage, was with us the day that he intended to pop the question. He wanted to be sure that she was present because she would very much be a part of our family. He wasn’t just marrying me. He was accepting my daughter into his heart and life as his very own daughter as well. This was huge for us! This little blonde haired, blue eyed girl was bouncing around every where. She had so much energy bottled up inside of her little five year old body.
My fiancé picked us up at our house and drove ever so nervously to Charleston. He did not have a lot to say on the way there as I later learned that he had butterflies in his stomach. He was a bundle of nerves for sure as halfway there, I rolled my window down somewhat and had my fingers still on top of the glass when he accidentally hit the button causing the window to roll up on my fingers. Ouch!!
Yep, this is a true story, bro!
He apologized profusely, but he just knew that wasn’t in his favor and that this proposal thing wasn’t going to go as he had originally planned. However, I got over the window incident and was determined that we were going to have a great day together.
It was just after Valentine’s Day in 2002, and the weather was perfect that afternoon. It wasn’t too cold, and it wasn’t too hot. It was JUST right!
We arrived at the Battery Park, and we started walking along the Charleston Harbor. We love looking at the houses on Rainbow Row also. As you can tell by the name, they are a variety of colors, and it just makes for a beautiful setting.
As we strolled along, I could sense him getting more nervous by the minute.
We walked further around the Battery Park and then over by the cannons that line the park. I climbed on the cannons with my daughter as we laughed and played. After that, we climbed the steps of the giant gazebo which was centered in the middle of the park. There is something so magical about this gazebo. While I have always loved the looks of a gazebo, this was the perfect setting under the mighty oak trees where many a weddings had taken place. I looked out over the harbor at the ocean lapping at the concrete wall while my daughter went up and down the gazebo steps about a million times. When I turned around, my fiancé was on his knee in front of me with his arms outstretched holding a little tiny black velvet box in his hand. I looked into his eyes, and about that time, my daughter had reached the final step, saw what was taking place, and let out a big gasp, then a squeal! Even at age five years old, she knew what this meant! He called her over to take her place beside me, and he asked for us to be his family.
Of course, I said YES!!! Swollen fingers and all. Just kidding on the swollen fingers part!
As we approach Valentine’s Day each year, my thoughts always go back to the day he proposed to … us. My daughter has been very much a part of us from the very beginning. He knew when we were dating that my daughter was my heart, and there was no way he was even meeting her until I knew for sure that he was going to be in my life for a long time. I did not believe in introducing my daughter to men that didn’t intend to stay. So, she would only meet him if he was to be a part of our future. When we grew serious in our relationship and I could see the direction this would take, I introduced them at that time. He has been a great father to her all of these years. My daughter is now 18 years old, and she still calls him “Daddy.” We were blessed with another daughter ten years ago, and she has completed our little family unit. We love both of our girls with all of our heart and soul. We thank God for sending his angels from Heaven for us to love and care for here on this earth. We are truly blessed!
This Valentine’s Day, think of something romantic that you can do with your spouse. Is there a special place that he took you when you were dating? Do you have a story like we do that will warm your heart and also make you laugh in the middle some where? If so, reminisce with your sweetie this Valentine’s Day. OR, better yet, pack a picnic and go back to that spot where he proposed to you to reflect on the memories that you hold near and dear to your heart. We have done this a few times through the years. It might be time for us to revisit with picnic basket in hand and our two darling daughters in tow.
Love. It is a beautiful thing!
Encourage Your Spouse
Maybe he feels defeated due to things beyond his control. Or, he just might feel a bit discouraged that things are not going as he had planned in other areas of his life aside from marriage. In times like these it is especially important to think of ways to encourage your spouse.
My husband and I had a hard day Monday. Our ten year old daughter started running a temperature of 102 degrees at school. Seeing as how we’ve heard so much about the flu running rampant in our state causing several deaths, we were greatly concerned when she complained of her head hurting, body aches, as well as vomiting. We took her to the doctor where, thank GOD, they determined that she does NOT have the flu. Praises, praises, and MORE praises to God above!! While that was one concern that was put to rest, we were still very much concerned with her symptoms and fever.
There were several other things coming at my husband that started last week and has the potential to threaten our future. When we all finally arrived at home Monday evening, he disappeared. I looked around in the house, but I did not see him right away. I figured he may have needed a minute and may have retreated to his emotional man cave. After a little while, though, my worry got the best of me, and I had to check on him. I tiptoed down the hallway to our room where the light was off, but I sensed that he was sitting there in the darkness. Sure enough, he was. I flipped the light on to find him sitting on the edge of our bed with his head in his hands. He was feeling a bit defeated due to recent events, so I just walked over to him and put my arms around him. He let out a big sigh, and I knew he was struggling at that moment. I held him for a few minutes, tightening my hold around him as I felt him deflate in my arms as he finally let go of what was bothering him. He spoke of his concerns, and while I don’t have all of the answers, I can reassure him with my love. No matter what is going on, we are in this together. We are a team, and we will walk this road hand in hand, side by side, a united front!
After a few minutes, he felt enough relief from his mental anguish to join me and our children at the dinner table. As we sat down to eat together as a family, we stretched our arms out to join hands as we always do. My husband bowed his head and began to pray. He prayed a simple, yet heartfelt prayer. God knows his struggles, and we also know that our GOD is bigger than any thing that comes at us that threatens to steal our joy. We know that we don’t have to walk this road alone, and we don’t have to try to figure all of this out. God was already there when this situation was unfolding, and while the fear of the unknown grabs us at time paralyzing us, God knows what the future holds. We just have to trust in God, and we DO … and we ARE … and we will CONTINUE to do so! I have often reminded my husband of a bible verse that I cling to in hard times:
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
If your spouse has had an extremely hard time as of late, reach out your hand and take theirs firmly in your own. Look them in the eye, and tell them that everything is going to be okay. Maybe not today … maybe not tomorrow … but it will. We have God’s assurance, and we are holding on to God’s word and His great and mighty hand!
How can you encourage your spouse today?
National Marriage Week
Saturday, February 7, 2015, kicked off National Marriage Week. Did you even know there was such a thing? If you didn’t, you do now!
Marriage is so incredibly beautiful, and honestly, it is probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to work at. Once you chase the girl and catch her, your job is not over. You still have to continue to do everything within your power to show your wife that she is your number one priority and still the love of your life. Likewise, ladies, you can’t let yourself go after marriage. Strive to be the best that you can be for yourself, your husband, and later when children arrive on the scene.
The number one thing is to remember that there are not just two of you in this marriage. There are three. Christ should be in the center. God ordained marriage, and He intended for man and woman to be together laughing, loving, sharing, building each other up, and holding each other in hard times. A lot of times people will blankly repeat the wedding vows back after the preacher says them during the wedding ceremony, but how many truly mean the words that they say?
“For better, for worse, In sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live”
That means it is the two of you bound together as you walk through life no matter what comes your way. We all want to be healthy and stay that way, and that is my wish for you as well as myself. We all want things to be happy all of the time and peaceful, and yet, it rarely stays that way. Things can get rocky at times as people endure health problems, financial difficulties after the loss of a job, or even in-law issues … but the thing is that you work through all of them together.
I’m sure you’ve heard the old familiar song “Stand By Your Man …” I have and will continue to do so. We are a team, and we are in this together. I urge you and your spouse to stand together, too. Hand in hand, heart to heart, never ever to be apart. You two need to be a united front no matter what you’re going through – go through it together!
This week, focus on your marriage and the partner that God has given you in this life. Let them know that they still light your fire. Reassure them of your love and commitment you made to them.
Happy National Marriage Week, Everyone!
