Light, Love, Hope

When my marriage ended in divorce well over 20 years ago and my young daughter visited her dad on the weekends, I had way too much time on my hands.  I occupied myself by climbing on a blue lawn mower, which was more like a tank, and cutting six acres of grass Friday evening and into the majority of Saturday.  I placed the headphones over my ears and turned up the volume in an attempt to silence my deafening thoughts.  When the sun faded into the horizon I was forced to put the mower away and walk inside the empty house alone.

Friends were few and far between at that point.  They became distant when I needed them the most.  I’m sure it was a mixture of them not knowing what to say and others just not wanting to get involved.  Regardless of the reason they pulled away, I was alone every other weekend.  I found when most everyone looked forward to the weekends, I dreaded every other weekend when my daughter would be away.  I yearned for the days when our little white house in the country was filled with laughter and a whole lot of love.  It would be again come Sunday night when my beautiful blonde hair, blue-eyed girl with a smile that would light up the entire universe walked back into the door!  While I waited, I could either let the darkness outside and in my life consume me, or I could find another outlet.

One evening, desperate for companionship, I wandered into a forum I had seen advertised on a television network for women.  I didn’t know what to expect when I joined in on the conversation, but I was pleasantly surprised to find not only women but a few brave men among the group.  They were all so welcoming and supportive.  Serious topics were discussed in that forum, and these precious people soon became my closest friends.  One dear lady with a son around my daughter’s age said her son described us as her “friends in the box.”

Oh, I thank GOD for my friends in the box!

I still dreaded every other weekend when my daughter had to go, but when the sun went down, my broken and wounded soul found comfort with people I had never even laid eyes on.  I no longer had to feel alone for they were right there with me any time I logged in.

There is something unique about “meeting” people online.  Because they don’t walk beside you in your “real” everyday life, you find yourself more comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with them.  They confide in you as well, and the strongest bonds begin to form.  You feel as if you have finally found a connection with people who truly understand and care for you.  They become your tribe, your support system, and your friends for life!

It was a usual morning. I didn’t want to get out of bed. It would be so much easier just to roll over and block out all the things I had to do that day that I didn’t want to do. The thing is that you never know when a normal day will turn into something not so normal.

After the usual day at work, I felt burned out and didn’t want to do anything. I sat there just staring at my computer when a thought crossed my mind. A friend of mine had been talking up a place online where people would talk about all sorts of topics. I usually just ignored the comments but that night something just poked at the back of my head, Maybe I should check it out.

I found the site, created an account, and checked out the message board. There was such a variety of topics I didn’t know where to start. Then I noticed something. There was a topic missing that I thought should be there that in my mind was completely related to the subject matter of the message board.

Do I dare say something in a post about? I struggled with that for a while because my intention was just to read and never post anything. You see I am very shy and socially awkward. It was and is something I fight with constantly. For some reason, I felt compelled to say something.

I thought and thought how what to say. Then decided to keep it simple. A few simple words in a question, why wasn’t there a topic to discuss this? I just had to know. I watched the screen. Nothing. I watched a little more. Still nothing. That is par for the course, me getting ignored.

I went back to the main page listing the topics and wait. Could it be? Was I seeing things? The topic I asked about was there. I popped in to see who had written something and little did I know that single moment, that brief second would turn into something wonderful.

#write28days

This morning I downloaded Joyce Meyer Ministries from the App Store and began listening while I entered invoices into our accounting software system at work.  I have always enjoyed Joyce and found her preaching to be right on the mark.  (Others may not agree, but my blog is not the place for a debate.  If you aren’t a fan of Joyce Meyer, you are welcome to move right along to another site.)

Today’s message was Part 1 of Loving Difficult People.  We all have difficult people in our lives we are forced to deal with, whether it’s an irritating coworker or someone known for smarting off at you every chance they get.  We can leave our place of employment or attempt to avoid the offender at all cost but there is no getting away from difficult people as we will continue to encounter them all throughout our lives.  The challenge here is to LOVE them even while they are being difficult.  Whew.  This is not a small task at times, is it?

Here’s a thought – maybe WE are even someone else’s “difficult person.”  How’s that for taking a step back and locking eyes with the person in the mirror.   Hmmm.  It gives us something to think about, doesn’t it?

The thing is to love the person, even when they are being difficult or hard to get along with.  Maybe give yourself some time to analyze why they are being difficult in certain situations.  While we can’t read someone else’s mind and know their heart, we can try to put ourselves in their shoes from time to time.

Something Joyce said this morning in her message moved me to jot it down on my yellow legal pad I keep on my desk for notes.

“You can feel like doing the wrong thing and still choose to do the right thing.”  Joyce Meyer  

Let’s be honest.  When someone cuts you off in traffic, there are times you might want to give them the one finger wave when they look back in the rearview mirror at you.  We have all felt rage well up inside of us, but we can choose NOT to let it take charge.  Because we are human, we want to get back at them, but because we are Christians, we are to love them even when they do such things to us.  You have free will, so of course you could rage at them.  However, it takes a much stronger person to choose to extend grace to them.

We truly don’t know what people are going through in their lives to know why they act the way they do.  Some may have just had a hard day at work or maybe even received bad news.  Maybe they aren’t really thinking of cutting you off at all.  They could just be in their own heads due to the information they learned through a disturbing phone call and the vehicle moves over into your lane giving the appearance of just down right being ugly to you when that wasn’t their intent at all.

It’s so easy to jump to conclusions on why this person was being difficult with you.  It is much harder to extend grace and act in love.  The choice is yours, and doing the right thing will leave you feeling wonderful in the end.

Think about this the next time you want to have a knee jerk reaction.