The Often Forgotten
There they are in wheelchairs lined in the hallways slumped over looking down at their hands. Occasionally, they will lift their head to smile at whomever walks past, hoping to catch their eye and have them stop to chat for a moment.
People rush by in a hurry hardly acknowledging their existence, fearing to make eye contact with these individuals that were once vital people in the community. Now they are the often forgotten ones in nursing homes around the nation. Whether they served our country by fighting in a war, or they served meals to their family day in and day out, they were the hands and feet going, doing, and giving at some point in their life. Now they spend the rest of their days in this nursing home either bedridden or confined to their wheelchairs, looking at the same four walls day in and day out hoping someone, anyone would take up some time with them.
Through the years, I have visited with the residences of different nursing homes. As a small child, I remember walking the halls with my grandmother as she would take us to see my great grandmother on certain Sundays of the month. I hated seeing the people like that. I would get so sad as we walked down the hall passing the rooms with the doors cracked where you could see right in at the once vital souls now alone in their rooms. And then we would walk into my great grandma’s room where she would lay due to recovering from a broken hip from a fall. She looked so small in that hospital bed that looked like it was about to swallow her whole. We would walk slowly toward her to stand by her bedside, and within a few minutes she would sense that we were there and turn to give us the biggest, widest, most sincere smile as she tried to speak.
Her speech was broken now, and although she tried with all of her might to get the words out, half of it was audible. Oh how it tugged at my heart to see her in this shape. Yet, we would visit and bring a little bit of sunshine with us each time into my great grandmother’s life.
Fast forward many years later, I joined a gospel group where we would go around to the different nursing homes to sing. Oh, I never forgot the way it felt when I’d go see my great grandma, and I remembered her each and every time I’d walk down the halls. I can still see her smiling face today even though she’s been gone for years.
A few years ago, I went to work at a nursing home. I would pass these precious people in the hallway every morning on my way to clock in and would once again feel the tug on my heart for these individuals. Some would not have any visitors, while others had a multitude in and out throughout the week. I would speak, and the all familiar smile would spread across their faces to know that someone took the time to acknowledge them. They felt in that moment that they mattered again … because they did, and they still do.
As you’re gathering around with your friends and family this holiday season, would you consider going to visit those at the nursing home? Maybe there’s someone in your family that you need to visit, or perhaps it’s someone that used to go to your church that would like a visit now. Even strangers need to feel loved, and what better time to show that love and care than at Christmas?
Oh I know what you’re thinking. You just can’t handle going in there and seeing them in this shape. While it is not often pleasant, it can be the biggest blessing that your heart will receive if you just take the time with the often forgotten souls that now line the halls of the nursing home.
I’ll never forget when I sang with the gospel group and how this one little lady blessed my heart and soul so much. When we started singing the old hymns that she grew up on, this little lady, sitting in her wheelchair so eloquently dressed with her jewelry, scarf, and wrapped up nicely in her Sunday best, started singing so sweetly and as loudly as her little voice would allow. I watched this little lady come alive. When she once sat quietly in the corner, she blossomed when the beautiful piano music floated through the air and tickled her ears. When we began to sing those old familiar tunes, a wide smile formed across her lips and she perked right up, eyebrows raised, as she lifted her voice in song with us. I even took the microphone over to her at one point to give her a moment in the spotlight. She was a blessing to me that day for sure, and each time we’d go back, I looked for this sweet little lady.
If you’re not sure how to go about scheduling a visit, call your local nursing home to speak to the activities director. They will schedule a time and allow you to bring in instruments or even gifts for the residence, if that is your wish.
You can make a difference in someone’s life.
Give The Gift of Time
Christmas will be here in a few short days. If you’ve been searching high and low for the perfect present, we hope you’ll realize that it just cannot be found in the store. You cannot purchase it, but it is a gift that will be treasured long after the decorations have been boxed back up and stored away until next year.
What is this I speak of? It is the gift of time.
Everyone is so busy in the world today. They are pulled this way and that way, and everything crowds in around them. Is it any wonder that people feel so stressed in general, but especially around the holidays?
What if we all just slowed down?
What is the harm in that?
Why do you have to go more, do more, or be more? Why can’t you just be still?
The bible tells us to be still and know that He is God. Do we need anyone else’s approval or permission to just be still? It’s right there in God’s word.
If we’re troubled, just be still and know that He is God.
If we’re stressed, just be still and know that He is God.
If we feel like there is no end in sight and no way to overcome the pain in our lives, just be still and know that HE is God!
And, what better time to be still with the ones that you love than at Christmas?
Slow things down a little this holiday season and give the gift of time!
Why rush through your days trying to get everything done when you’re already stressed to the max? Guess what? You don’t have to!
No one is putting pressure on you to be perfect or get it “just” right or even to have your house perfectly decorated like pictures in the Better Homes & Garden Magazine. No one is pressuring you to cook like Betty Crocker or Paula Dean. Just do the best that you can.
Don’t let this holiday season pass with you always being in a tizzy and falling into bed exhausted at night just to do it all over again in the morning. Slow down and allow yourself to enjoy this very special season with your family.
That’s what it’s all about! Family time!!
Stop long enough to play with your children. The added decorations don’t matter. No more lights need to be strung around your house. No more decorations need to be added inside either. Take time now to snuggle with your family in front of the fireplace. Turn the lights down, put on a few scented candles, and enjoy the lights on the tree as you have hot chocolate and read Christmas stories or watch them on television. OR better yet, gather around to sing Christmas songs!
The month of December is flying by, and Christmas will come and go so fast it will make you wonder where all the time you thought you had has gone. Before you know it, you’ll be tearing down that Christmas tree and packing everything away only to sigh heavily and wonder what happened to YOUR happy holiday.
Don’t let this happen to you and your family. Make time for them. They are all that truly matters any way. It’s not about presents under the tree. It’s about the presence of God in your life and the presence of your family within arm’s reach to give them a snuggle, a hug, or a jab in the rib as you tickle them playfully or let them ride on your back like a horsey.
Take time.
You’re making memories and leaving a legacy.
Judgments and Opinions
Another observation of late is that any time I have opened up and poured out the content of my heart and soul, it leaves me wide open for harsh judgments and opinions. There are certainly a lot of opinionated and judgmental remarks from people that claim to know how to run my life, family, etc. better than I. But, I could do without those.
For me, when someone comes to me to share what is on their hearts, I try really hard to listen with an open mind and to speak from my heart offering words of love. Generally, I am not a judgmental person and try hard to reserve my opinion and advice unless they are requested.
There are also “holier than thou” people out there that look down their noses at me. Why? I’m doing the best that I can. Life hasn’t always been easy, but I have made the best of some very bad situations that I’ve been forced to deal with and live through. I’m still here. I’m alive, although some times I feel beaten and battered. God still has a purpose for me and for my life, and that is why He woke me up this morning to a brand new day.
This is where I love to add that when I once looked for outside approval, none is needed now. NONE. You know why? Because I am already approved by God above, and that my friends is worth more to me than all the gold and silver in the world.
I don’t need to compete with anyone. I hope we all win and succeed in life!
Instead of bragging about what all you have and your accomplishments as if you think you’re better than others, why not try to be a better person with more compassion in your heart? It isn’t about how many degrees you have or how many initials you have behind your name. It isn’t how far you’ve climbed up the corporate ladder (or who you stepped on along the way to get there), and it certainly isn’t about the square footage of your house or the material possessions you own. Does any of this make you a better person? Do you go above and beyond to help your fellow man? And what if you lost your job, your house, and all of your worldly possessions? What then? Your wealth comes from the love you have in your heart, which you freely give away to those in need. That is the true measure of a man or woman. Just how much do you reach out to others to help? Do you ever reach out your hand to pick someone up that has fallen down on their road in life?
I don’t need to be torn apart by people’s judgmental remarks or cutting comments. Yet, people love to launch hurtful words at you.
People with failing marriages or divorced people will be the first to pick your marriage apart. They wait until you say one thing to indicate that there might be a problem, and they jump all over your spouse, beating them to death over one little mistake as if THEY never made any in their lifetime. For me, though, I try to be encouraging. If there is a small glimmer of hope in the words that they speak, I will, instead, focus on that and draw more attention to the good in the situation no matter how bad they may be feeling at that point in time. Yes, everyone has their moments when things get to them, and they have every right to speak their mind to get it off of their chests. Just be there to listen. Do NOT add fuel to their already blazing inferno. It only makes them feel worse. Why do that to people?
Ask yourself if people are better after they leave you than before they came to you. Honestly, search yourself and be truthful when you answer. If someone comes to you heavy burdened and suffering tremendously, just feeling so beat up by things that have happened in their lives, do you offer any words of encouragement, or do you jump on the bandwagon beating them over the head with past mistakes? If they confide in you something that happened with their spouse that may be troubling you, do you try to console them or just listen and offer a hug? Or do you rip that spouse to shreds with your words, tossing daggers into this person’s already beat up, bruised, and bleeding heart?
Your words are very powerful. They can lift someone out of the pits of despair, or they can be the last heaping of dirt that is shoveled onto their grave.
Choose wisely the words that come out of your mouth in all situations. Once spoken, they cannot be taken back. Those words that you speak will linger and will haunt for days, weeks, even years after they’ve long been forgotten by you. The person on the receiving end will not be so quick to dismiss what happened as you’ve been.
Guard your tongue and speak life into people. Be the light in the darkness that they are feeling. Lift them up by your words of encouragement instead of tearing at them when they already feel battered.
Crush the judgmental remarks and snide comments. Keep your harsh opinions to yourself.
Be a light in this dark world.
