One More Day
Today is my sister’s birthday. She should be here for us to gather around with birthday cake and balloons in hand as we burst into song singing, “Happy Birthday To You …”
But alas, she is celebrating with Jesus again this year, just as she has for the past 13 years.
This time of year is hard for so many, my family included, because while we should be happy and full of cheer, there is a very important member of our family that is missing.
Growing up, my sister and I were NOT the best of friends. We fought like all siblings do, and we were at odds with each other more times than I care to remember. It was even worse in the teenage years for some reason. But, something miraculous happened when we grew into adults. A friendship formed between us unlike any I’ve ever known before … or since.
We would have lunch together almost every work day. She would call me up and ask, “Little or big?” and instantly I knew she was referring to whether we wanted to have a little lunch which would consist of fast food or a big sit down type of a lunch.
When we weren’t having lunch during the work week, we were at each other’s houses on the weekends hanging out together. Or, we went shopping!
She teased me unmercifully in our childhood, and while we had become the best of friends as adults, the teasing continued. The only difference now is that this time it was playful kidding instead of children just being mean to each other as they tend to do. She often teased me about my “hooker red lipstick.” She wasn’t a makeup type person at all. She preferred to go all natural. Me, on the other hand, I have liked makeup from a very early age. And so, she teased me every time she would see me smear it on or show up for lunch with it freshly applied. Yep, me and my hooker red lipstick!
I miss her teasing me. I miss her calling me names and sticking her foot just inside my door to aggravate me in my childhood. I would yell, “Get out of my room!” and she would stick her toe just outside the door into the hallway with the biggest grin on her face as she announced, “I’m not IN your room.” Then she would proceed to take her toe and put it just inside my room and then quickly remove it while chanting, “I’m in … I’m out … I’m in … I’m out …” tormenting me to no end!
Yes. I miss that.
I miss her not letting me play with her favorite Barbie doll. I even miss her not letting me borrow her camera even though she was not using it, and it sat idle.
Why do I miss these things?
Because … they are childhood memories connected to my sister, and I don’t want to lose a single one of those memories.
I miss her and wish that I could have just one more day with her.
I’ll leave you with the words of a Diamond Rio song that is close to my heart. Once you read through or listen to it with the lyrics on Youtube, you’ll understand why.
Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me, it could be for any thing
I didn’t ask for money or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished for one more day with youOne more day, one more time
One more sunset, maybe I’d be satisfied
But then again, I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still for one more day with youFirst thing I’d do is pray for time to crawl
I’d unplug the telephone and keep the TV off
I’d hold you every second, say a million I love you’s
That’s what I’d do with one more day with youOne more day, one more time
One more sunset maybe I’d be satisfied
But then again I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still for one more day with youOne more day, one more time
One more sunset maybe I’d be satisfied
But then again I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still for one more day
With you.
Loved? As In Past Tense?
Here’s a little pet peeve of mine: When someone says “I loved him/her” after someone has passed away. Loved? As in past tense?
But … why?
I understand that the individual they are speaking of is not here on this earth any longer, but to phrase it in such a way right after the person’s passing just seems cold to me.
For me, there is no “loved.” When I love a person, it is forever. Whether they are here on this earth or gone to be with our Heavenly Father above. I refuse to refer to it in the past tense because my love did not stop for this individual the day they passed away. When I love, it is for all eternity.
I have just been sitting here thinking about this again. It has bothered me in the past, but even more so now. One of my dear friends passed away in November. I still love her very much and always will. My sister passed away 13 years ago. I still love her, too, ’til the stars fall into the sea! My love is for all eternity.
While the person may pass away, love will live on in our hearts. There is no end to love that is true and real. It lives on.
That’s my two cents.
An Open Book? Not So Fast!
Once upon a time I was an open book. My friends and family didn’t have to ask about the details of my life because I would freely share with them. I had no secrets so why not share and share alike, right? Wrong. It often became one sided with me sharing and them not giving any details at all about their lives.
I don’t like one sided relationships … at all.
When there isn’t anything coming from the other party, I have nothing to talk about where they are concerned. The only thing I know to talk about is my stuff.
That gets old … fast.
So, an open book now? Not so fast! Not any more!
If a person truly wants to carry on a conversation with me, they will share about their life, their dreams, their goals, even their work day and their family. I wouldn’t care if they talked endlessly about their dog or cat, as I’ve been known to go on and on about my horses. Just so long as they were engaged in the conversation.
Even if they feel like they don’t have anything of worth or value to add, maybe I would feel differently … and I do!
I believe I read this in one of Dr. Gary Chapman’s books or articles, but it was suggested that at the end of the day a couple should reconnect and share at least three things that happened during the course of their day when they’ve been apart. Each person needed to share three things … not just one person. Again, there’s that one sided conversation and relationship again which I now avoid!
This doesn’t just apply for couples in a relationship but could be for friends, too.
I can understand that some people want to hold certain things back, and that is fine. I am in total agreement, but when the conversation is mainly me talking, me sharing, and me asking questions to get things going … it just becomes too draining for me.
I feel as if the person truly doesn’t want to talk or share or anything … because they don’t!
When once uncomfortable silence made me nervous, I just allow silence to fill the air. Whether we’re in person, on the phone, or even in emails or private messages. While I appreciate someone sending me a “Hi, how are you …” … “hope you’re having a good day …” message, where is the meat in the conversation?
Small talk makes me uncomfortable. There, I said it.
I’m not one that mingles well at parties either. I just don’t do small talk well at all. I guess I would be more of a wallflower because I would tend to stay to myself. BUT, put me in a situation where there is deep conversation, and I will talk and listen for hours on end … and have. (My husband and I once talked for ten hours straight when we were dating, no kidding!)
So, to my friends: If I am more quieter than usual, now you know why. If you want to have a conversation, it is going to take two participants, not just me.
I will reserve parts of my life and not be so much of an open book any longer. I have nothing to hide, but if people want details, they will have to share theirs as well and not just idle conversation.
That’s where I am today.
