Pondering Christmas
I have been pondering Christmas for a number of reasons. I guess as I’ve grown older, Christmas does not mean what it once did. When there was so much fuss over presents and what material items were on our “wish lists,” we have grown to realize that no amount of money spent could come close to comparing to quality time with our loved ones. It’s not about the material possession that we stand to gain as we gather around the tree anticipating what’s in the boxes underneath the red and green wrapping paper complete with bright shiny bows. It’s what is inside of our hearts and in our arms that matter most. If we have unconditional love tucked inside our hearts and the ones that mean the most to us held within our arms, what more could we possibly want or need?
Do we purposely stop to consider what Christmas is all about any way? We should. It isn’t about the presents under the tree at all, or at least it shouldn’t be! The focus should be on Jesus who came into this world as a little tiny baby. This little one came to save the world! If we only believe in Him and ask Him into our hearts … why does that seem so hard for so many people when it really is quite simple?
At this time of year everyone seems so much nicer. They have a smile on their faces and seem more cheerful than they have all year long. It seems to be the magic in the air around Christmastime, and all of this has gotten me to thinking …
What if it were Christmas all year?
Why can’t it be?
I don’t wish to take away from this special time of year at all. However, if you think about how everyone is showing more concern, care, and compassion for their fellow man at this time of year, I can’t help but ask: Why can’t we move that into every day of the year? Why do we save it for just a month out of the entire year? When there is so much love inside of your heart, why not share it more often?
If you stop to be kind and considerate to strangers during the month of December because you’re in the spirit of the holidays, why not carry that over to the other 11 months of the year?
If you put priority on helping to feed the homeless and the less fortunate during the last month of the year, are you not concerned about those same individuals as the calendar flips to a new year?
If you strive to help places such as the Women’s Shelter provide clothing for the abused and neglected women and children that now call this place their “home,” do you not think of them at any other time of the year? Why now? Why not more often? Their struggles are real 365 days a year, not just for one that marks the 25th day of December.
Am I the only one that feels this way? Or do you feel it, too? You … there … the one reading this. Is it resonating with you as well? What can we as the human race do to help more people, to reach more souls in need on just more than one calendar day a year?
Oh how I wish it could be Christmas all year.
Angel of Hope Ceremony
Every year on the first Saturday in December we gather at the Angel of Hope Garden to remember the children that have gone too soon. Regardless of the age of the child, whether a tiny baby or an adult, they are precious children, and their parents have either had bricks or plaques donated in their memory.
My sister’s plaque is among those on the wall behind the Angel of Hope Statue.
We have been gathering in this same place since 2009 when our Angel of Hope statue was erected. The one placed in our town was actually the 100th statue in existence and the only one in South Carolina.
There are so many thoughts, feelings and emotions that go hand in hand with this time of year. When this should be the “most wonderful time of the year,” the truth is that a lot of people are struggling during the holidays. Our family has a hard time because not only is the Angel of Hope Ceremony the first Saturday in December, but my sister’s birthday follows shortly thereafter; December 13th.
When I first learned of the Angel of Hope all of those years ago, I donated money for the plaque as a way to help our family with the grieving process. It is always so hard and heart wrenching to visit the cemetery, and I actually do not like going out there at all. I will, and I have to take flowers or to talk with her, but the truth is that I can talk to my sister any where, not just at the cemetery. In placing the plaque, it has allowed us to have another location to visit with her in the peaceful surroundings of the gardens that have flowers blooming in the Spring, Summer, and Fall, with Christmas decorations and lights in the Winter.
It’s hard facing yet another holiday season without my sister. It’s been several years since we lost her, but the hole in our hearts is still there. We are missing several family members this holiday season from my sister, granddaddy, and now grandma, who passed in that order. It’s just a difficult time of year for a lot of people, yet few will mention anything about it. They just deal with it the best way they can and often in silence without saying anything to any one. My parents and I have that in common, unfortunately.
My sister should be here getting ready to celebrate her 46th birthday, and yet … she’s not. She should be searching high and low for the perfect Christmas present for her daughter, and yet … it just isn’t possible. She left us way too soon, and we miss her a great deal, more than words could ever say.
Go easy this holiday season. If you’re one that is also struggling, we understand, and please know that you are NOT alone. Don’t push yourself to do too much or to force those feelings aside. You have a right to feel as you do, and you are doing the right thing by acknowledging those feelings and being true to yourself.
Go easy with others this holiday season as well. Every one that walks the face of this earth is fighting some kind of battle. We have no way of knowing what another person is going through so we have no right to judge. I will ask, though, that you consider other families, not just that of my own, that are missing loved ones that have gone on before them. It’s a difficult time of the year for so many, and they are in need of your loving kindness, compassion, and prayers.
God knows who you are and what you are struggling with at Christmastime. Reach out to Him, and He will meet you right where you are. Feel Him wrapping His almighty arms around you providing comfort as only He can.
I’ll be praying for you, my friend.
Traditions
During a very long drive home, fifteen or so total hours, I had a lot of time to think about the upcoming holidays and how things have changed over the years. I am one of the vast number of people that are alone during the holidays because either their immediately family lives miles away or has passed. I am of the later. Now that my mom and sister are gone, I am left here alone for the holidays.
It can be hard for people to understand how people like me feel during the holidays. I do have some family left, my aunt and cousin. But that is not the same as the closeness you have with your parents and siblings. We get together for the holidays, but I just feel like an outsider. I do occasionally get invitations from some friends at times to join them in their celebrations, but for me it just feels uncomfortable to be there. I know I probably shouldn’t feel this way, but I do. Please don’t get the impression that I do not appreciate the kindness of their offer because I truly do. There have been too many times that I have gone to be with friends and their families when things have gotten uncomfortable.
I am a strong believer in traditions. They give a person a sense of belonging and joy. As I drove I thought about all the traditions in my life that have disappeared over time. I would like to share a few of these with you.
For several years while I was in high school and going to college, I would walk home from the 11 p.m. Christmas Eve service at our church. I would wander the streets looking at the decorations in the peaceful night air. It was always a magical feeling of that special time of the celebration of Christ’s birth. Many times there would be a soft blanket of new snow on the ground which added to the beauty of the night. A special treat would be if there was a light snow falling at the time.
For us, Christmas Day was for having all the grandparents and cousins get together to celebrate with dinner and gifts; Christmas Eve was just for mom, dad, my sister and I. That is the tradition that meant the most to me and which I miss the most. We would sit in front of the fireplace with a roaring fire going. The only lights on in the house would be from the tree and the lights around the fireplace mantle. There would be traditional Christmas music playing on the stereo. At this time we would open family gifts. It still brings tears to my eyes when I remember those times that have long since gone.
This year due to the generosity of some very special friends, I will be able to relive a part of this time that meant so much to me. I had the great pleasure of spending that past week with them. When I arrived, I was greeted with two bags of gifts. I asked if I should wait for Christmas to open these and they said that would be okay. I know that they were disappointed that they wouldn’t see my reaction when I opened them. Some may consider it rude for me to not open them at the time. However, by letting me take them and open them at Christmas they are giving much more than they will ever realize; the chance to experience a part of what I have lost these past years. For on eve of Christmas just before midnight, I will sit down with candles burnings (as I don’t have a fireplace now) and only the lights of the decorations on and open the gifts they have given me. It will be the first time I will be able to touch once again that tradition that I hold dear in my heart and that has been gone for very, very long time. There is no way in the world that I could ever thank them enough for their consideration and generosity in giving me the chance to relive a part of what I had lost.
