Respecting Each Other’s Uniqueness
It’s wonderful when a married couple are similar in their ways. However, it can be quite difficult when your differences come out. Yet, respecting each other’s uniqueness is what is required for a happy marriage.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14
My husband and I are a lot alike in a lot of ways. We do have some very different qualities that make us who we are as unique individuals as well. Together, we feel that we complement each other nicely.
I am the accountant of the family, and I believe in saving! My husband, on the other hand, cannot be let loose with the debit card! He jokingly says that if there is money to be spent, he’s going to spend it! That is why I guard that debit card and keep it in my possession! I am not being controlling by doing that. Instead, I am being realistic. I know that he isn’t going to be as good with money as I am, and so the card stays with me. In this way, though, we realize his weakness with spending money and my strong point in saving it! We balance each other out nicely. I’d hate to think of what it would look like if we both were burning up that debit card, so it’s a good thing that we’re different in this unique way.
There are other ways that we are different that doesn’t cause us problems but instead enhances our relationship. But, when both of us are in the same “take charge” mode, we can have problems. If we are both Type A personalities, we will lock horns at some point or another. Thankfully, we aren’t always like this. We do have our moments, though, where we are both extremely strong willed individuals that want what we want right when we want it. That can spell … conflict … if we aren’t careful. It is at times like these that one has to give a little more than the other to make it work, or one has to be a little bit more patient and forgiving than the other for us not to rub each other the wrong way. It can be a balancing act at times. You truly have to work together with the big goal in mind, and that is of living happily ever after and making the marriage work!
Two are better than one … just as it says in the bible:
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
How can you start appreciating, respecting, and celebrating your uniqueness in your marriage?
Next up … Pursuing Personal Growth.
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Better Part of Me
Being that this is our anniversary weekend, we wanted to do things a little differently than in years past. Instead of fancy trips and expensive jewelry, we are keeping it simple by staying a little closer to home and reconnecting. We decided to do several day trips, with each one being a different adventure.
Thursday, we took the entire day to go horseback riding in Aiken, South Carolina at Hitchcock Woods. This is a beautiful 2100 acre forest that is open to the public 365 days a year free of charge. There is a lot of history within the woods, and it is breathtakingly beautiful as you and your horse make your way through the windy roads, up hills, and to refreshing creeks.
Friday, we set off in a different direction with Family Christian in mind. This store is tucked back in a little shopping center off of the always busy Harbison Boulevard in Columbia, South Carolina. I could spend hours in this store and have on many occasions! They have so much to offer that it is hard to narrow down a choice. From art, pictures, jewelry, bibles, inspirational books, to a variety of music, it is never just a quick trip in and out of this store. No matter who you are, you are bound to find a treasure in there that you are sure to love.
Yesterday’s treasure hunt for my husband and I resulted in a large bag of goodies that we took home with us, including the new CD by Rhett Walker Band entitled Here’s To The Ones.
We popped this baby in as soon as we got back into our car. We were not sure what to expect, as we had never heard this band before but thought we’d give it a try. If it came from Family Christian, it had to be good! And … it was! My husband enjoys Country music now that he’s a cowboy with his horse, so his ears perked up when the music began to play. It has a little bit of a Country sound to it, yet it also has a Southern Rock sound as well. As the music played, there were a variety of instruments that we especially loved. My husband enjoys a steel guitar, and I always enjoy piano music. They had the drums and guitar rocking, but there was just something about that steel guitar.
One particular song spoke to us as we listened to the words. It’s called Better Part of Me, and it started off talking about a couple having a difficult time. We can relate, as the past six months have been a little rocky for us. The next part of the song encourages the spouse to say what they need to say because no matter what, they are still committed to each other.
When I said I do, I wasn’t telling you just some lines from a song, from some ole Country tune.
When I took your hand and you took my name, all time stood still with God and family.
You were, you are, you know you’ll always be … the better part of me.
My husband was the first to comment on this song as it was playing. He said:
“It just shows you that when things are heated, when you’re having a disagreement, a couple still has to work it out. It is easy to forget how important your spouse is when you’re trying to get them to see things from your perspective. It’s easy to forget that you are in this together. They aren’t just words that you spoke, but they have meaning behind them. That is why you got married.”
One verse that really struck me is when they sang:
Through the fire and through the hopeless rain, no matter what may come, I said ALWAYS …
As I was thinking it, my husband said it:
“It just reinforces the fact that you committed yourself willingly to each other for all time.”
Wow!
We had no idea that this one little trip inside the store would have this much of an impact on us. If you have never heard of the Rhett Walker Band, we encourage you to try them as we did! Pick up a copy of their latest CD Here’s To The Ones at your local Family Christian store.
Allow the words of their songs to speak to you as well. Not only did this song speak to our hearts, but it also reinforced our commitment to each other. It couldn’t have happened at a better time as we don’t want to re-live the past six months or go through any of that again! It’s done and over with now, and we just want to go forward together and recommit our hearts and lives to each other.
And so we shall … beginning now on our anniversary weekend.
Sharing A Project
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work. Ecclesiastes 4:9
Can you remember the last time you and your spouse worked on a project together? A lot of times people think that because of our differences it can be really stressful sharing a project with our spouses. However, it has the potential to bring you closer together if you share the process with one another.
I was once the director of an interpretive movement/sign art group at our church. I loved this creative ministry and poured myself into it. My oldest daughter was interested in it at that time and would soak up every move I showed her. I would blast the music and allow God to speak to my heart as I praised in my own way with sign language and different movements to the words of the songs. One day I got down the gospel collection by Elvis Presley. On that CD was How Great Thou Art. I sat there feeling as if the presence of God was right there in my living room as the powerful voice of Elvis sang about how great our God truly is. Then, my husband came inside and smiled as he heard Elvis, his all time favorite. He began to watch the movements and showed an interest in what I was doing. I intended on teaching this in class so our group could minister in song one Sunday morning. There aren’t enough words in the human language to describe how it felt when my husband came alongside of me to learn the movements of this song. I was so passionate about this group, and now he was a part of it. My heart was completely touched, and as we worked on this song together, I felt closer to him. We were sharing something that meant a lot to me. When the Sunday morning came that we were to present this song, my husband was right there on stage with me, as was my oldest daughter and the rest of the group, doing every movement with ease as God was glorified. We had a lot of people compliment us on how we presented this song and on the choice of song as well. It felt wonderful working on this project together.
We have also just recently purchased an older RV. We knew going into this that it was a “fixer-upper.” We aren’t going to use it to travel the world. We are simply going to use it to travel to plantations where we can camp overnight and go trail riding with our horses. That was the main reason this RV was purchased. A lot of horse people have the horse trailers with a small sleeping quarters, but it is too cramped and much too small for my claustrophobic self. I knew that the only way I would be able to camp comfortably would be to have a RV with all of the comforts from home, including a larger bed and not feeling as if I was literally sleeping on a shelf in the horse trailer! Being that this RV is an older model, it does require some work, but we are slowing chipping away at it. My husband is discovering that when once he complained about it, he is now finding it a challenge and feels a sense of accomplishment when he narrows down a problem and is then able to fix it! Success! And we all cheer for him. He has his little cheerleading squad over here with myself and our two daughters. It hasn’t always been fun working on this RV together, though. He’s gotten upset and has lost his cool a time or two with me sitting right there, but then when he walks away from it and goes back to it later, he’s able to find and fix the problem. We’re getting this thing ready for our first trip together as this is perfect weather for trail riding! The next item of business will be replacing the brake line, and then I’ll be inside pumping the brakes. It may be only a small part of the process, but it is a project that we can work on together, and we will feel such a sense of accomplishment when we are enjoying our steaks on the grill sitting under the awning of our RV at the camp site with our horses right there with us. It will all be worth it … and more!
Think of projects that you can work on with your spouse that can deepen the bond between you. Even if it’s just working on a jig saw puzzle together, take the time.
Join us tomorrow for … Respecting Each Other’s Uniqueness.
For all posts in this series, click here.
