Praising The Positive
Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise.
Philippians 4:8 CEV
On day four in their book, Cindi & Hugh talk about things that originally drew them to their mates now bugging them as some time has passed. For example, Hugh was a deep thinker, taking a while to think on things before he would speak. Cindi originally appreciated this about Hugh. However, as time went on, she began to think he was the moodiest person she knew. Likewise, Hugh originally appreciated how Cindi was able to express herself, but after over 20 years together, there are days that he wishes that she wasn’t quite so vocal about things.
Here is something that I have tried to get us to do here on Light Love Hope. When you are tempted to go to the negative way of thinking, instead find something positive to focus on. Also, if things are really bringing you down, turn your focus to your blessings and how grateful you are for those things instead of complaining and staying stuck in that frame of mind. Is it easy to do? No, it isn’t. We want to immediately go to the negatives and things that bother us. That is why we have to be intentional about this and turn our focus on the positives.
I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying that love is blind. It was initially when you and your mate got together. You both were in a state of bliss so much so that nothing seemed to bother you. You were all dreamy and starry eyed when thinking of, looking at, and being with your mate. As time went on, though, we started to see a little bit of things here or there that began to annoy us. Maybe we need to become blind again to those traits and to anything negative that we may tend to focus on about our loved ones. Let us shift our focus to being open to grace and forgiveness. What if we all chose to become blind to their faults again? Instead of focusing on them and beating them over the head with things that aggravate us, why not choose to take a deep breath and extend grace? There is good in every one of us. I truly believe that. When it seems difficult to find one ounce of goodness, please try looking again. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, praise the positive!
Let’s take a look at Philippians 4:8 again. God’s love working through you will allow you to see “the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”
Join us tomorrow for … The Power of A Note.
Previous days in this series:
Introduction: A New Journey
Day One: Enjoying The Journey
Day Two: Leaving Self On The Shelf
Day Three: From Tense To Tender
Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection
From Tense To Tender
A kind answer soothes angry feelings, but harsh words stir them up.
Proverbs 15:1 CEV
Cindi and Hugh began this chapter talking about a date night that Hugh planned, and yet things were certainly not going as planned … for either of them. When they should have been enjoying their time together, instead they were at odds with each other.
Have you ever had a situation like this? I know I have, and actually, something similar just happened at our house last night. We didn’t have a date night planned as in going out to dinner, but instead, we were going out to feed the horses so they would be well satisfied when we decided to go horseback riding later that evening. The horses normally do great, but on occasion, they will become aggressive at feeding time. There is a pecking order with the horses, and the lowest one on the totem pole was getting bullied every which way she turned! No matter where I tried to feed her, the other horses came swarming trying to get her food. We have five horses, so my anxiety was getting up with trying to keep them away from her so she could get enough to eat while not having any of the horses – or myself – get hurt! Pretty soon I was aggravated (and mouthy, which is something I am not proud of), and my husband was feeling stress, too, due to how my mood swiftly changed.
Cindi and Hugh ask, “How do you redeem the moment when it looks like everything is quickly going downhill?”
Someone has to be the bigger person and extend grace. Someone has to try to lighten the situation up and get things going in the right direction. In situations like these, we have to quickly reverse the situation and go from tense to tender in record time if at all possible. That is not always easy, though. What if neither of you want to extend grace at that moment in time? That’s a tough one! Admitting that you were at fault is an even harder pill to swallow.
Leaving Self On The Shelf
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:4
As we discussed yesterday, everyone goes into marriage with their own preconceived ideas of how things should be. We know what we want in our mates and in our marriages. We have all of these expectations. However, disappointment sets in when we realize that our dream marriage just isn’t to be because this is real life and not a fairy tale. Pretty soon we’re questioning why we got married in the first place because our spouse is not meeting all of our needs. Maybe we desire a husband that is able to express himself emotionally yet he clams up instead of talking things out as we’d like. Or, what about our desire for more emotional support with what we’re going through, yet our spouse appears cold and distant instead of caring and compassionate. At times like this you may have prayed to God asking exactly what He was thinking to allow this union in the first place. God knows you, and He knows what you need in your mate. Yet, this is what you get? How is that even possible?
In the book that Cindi co-wrote with her husband, Hugh, Cindi speaks of how she was having these thoughts and feelings toward her husband. She complained to the Lord about her husband, and she questioned why God let them get married. Further, she wanted to know why God wasn’t transforming her husband to be the man that she needed to meet her needs and expectations. Then it hit her, and she felt as if God was saying to her that maybe, just maybe, He was looking at what her husband needed.
