Making A Memory
Relish life with the spouse you love each and every day of your precious life.
Each day is God’s gift. It’s all you get in exchange for the hard work of staying alive.
Make the most of each one!
Ecclesiastes 9:9 MSG
So many times couples wait to do things that they enjoy. They say that they will take the vacation of their dreams when the kids grow up … the house and cars are paid for … or when they retire. People every where are saving these things (whether it’s that dream vacation or something else) for “one day” not even considering that we are not promised the gift of another day. With that being said, why not take that time today?! Why not set your mind intentionally to making a memory with your spouse and your family members?
Is there a hobby that you both could enjoy together?
One of my friends used to be on a bowling league as she and her husband enjoyed bowling together. For my husband and I, we enjoy classic cars and horseback riding. We are members of a classic car club in town, and we attend the monthly meetings together. We attend the car shows together as well, sporting our club shirts complete with our names and logo. We are actually off to our club’s annual car show today. Although club members cannot enter their own cars in the competition, we all still bring our classic cars to have them on display.
My dad has a very sweet candy apple red 1957 Chevrolet Bel-Air, two door hard top, that is his pride and joy so he polishes that baby up and makes sure it is shining the night before. Well, for the past two years, my husband and I have gone with my parents to the car shows to encourage them and support them when they have entered “Big Red.” Although we have a classic car as well, we have not focused our attention on fixing the 1969 Camaro up until just recently. The paint job was still in good shape, but it needed some work on the engine and the interior of the car. Although this may sound odd, I have been the one pushing to get this car in shape because I want to drive it to the show!
Why the push for this particular car? I’m so glad you asked! 🙂
This car holds special memories for us because this is the car that my husband had when he first started coming to see me at age 16. We were young and very shy at that point, so we didn’t “date” very long at all as neither of us could think of anything really to say to carry a conversation. We ended up parting ways and then finding each other many, many years later! As it turned out, he still had that car, although he had gotten it painted a different color. He loves to tell the story about how he got his first ticket in that car when he was speeding because he was in a hurry to come see me at my friend’s house that night. I asked him to come over, but I did not ask him to speed!
I am happy to report that he has devoted time and money into this car, and it will be at the car show today! AND … I will be driving it! 69 Camaro + Speed = One Happy Little Lady! (Although, I will NOT be getting a ticket, thank you very much!)
My point in sharing the above with you is so that you can see that this hobby of ours is something that we have made memories with together. Not only has it provided new memories, but it has also brought up the old memories we shared as teenagers, too.
Our other hobby of horseback riding has enabled us to make memories together as well. There is just something so moving and exhilarating about being on the back of your horse. You can feel their every movement, and they can sense how you are feeling. You two operate as one when you’re riding on a trail. This is something that my husband and I enjoy tremendously as it allows us to spend time together while we are also enjoying not only God’s beautiful land but the beautiful creatures He has created as well. We share this common interest in the horses (we currently have five horses, by the way), and this allows us to do something we enjoy while de-stressing together at the end of the day. We just groom the horses and feel the stress melting away. We hop on them and go for a ride around our yard, but our most favorite memory making moments is when we take these beautiful animals on trail rides at different plantations in our state. We have only just started doing this with horseback riding somewhere else besides around our six acres, and yet, this has been the most fun we have had in a very long time! The best part is that we are doing this together!
While the annual car show is today, you will find us on the trails tomorrow horseback riding! We are intentional about making memories together, and we encourage you to do the same with your spouse!
Not a single one of us is promised the gift of another day. Get out there and make those memories while you still can. If, God forbid, anything ever happened to you or your spouse, those precious memories would be there to help as you can relive those memories and play them over and over in your mind to bring a smile even if one’s time on earth is through. We don’t like to ever think about that or talk about it, but now, more than ever, we need to be intentional about how we spend our time, who we spend our time with, and focusing our attention on making those precious memories!
Join us tomorrow for … Sharing Your Heart.
For all posts in this series thus far, click here.
Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection
Finding Encouraging Words
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29
Our words have power. Do you use yours to build up your spouse? Are you intentionally finding encouraging words to speak over your mate?
We have to be careful here because if we are having a bad day our natural reaction is to tell the ones closest to us all about it. Normally the work related stress spills over to your spouse. Either they feel it when you arrive home or they will end up hearing about it shortly thereafter.
About two years ago, my husband and I got into a bad habit of venting to each other on our breaks, at lunch, and on the drive home from work. It did not take long before we dreaded when the phone would ring. Why? Because our words were not used to lift each other up. Instead, we focused on what was bringing each of us down, and we ended up bringing the other down, too! While we all need someone to talk to about things that bother us – and who better than your spouse – you have to be careful that you aren’t spewing venom all over each other and taking things out on the other when your spouse is innocent and undeserving of this ill treatment, even if it is the constant venting that we do to each other, it can bring our spouses down in the process of getting stuff off of our chests.
Also, be careful that your bad mood doesn’t spark you to be unhappy with something that your spouse says or does later when you’re together. IF you’re aggravated already, the chances are pretty high that things may not go your way because you’re already upset so the least little thing can set you off to where you end up hurting your spouse’s feelings or you could end up snapping at the children just because your patience is already thin.
It is hard in times like this, but earlier in this series we spoke of Praising The Positive. Pay special attention to Philippians 4:8 and what it is saying! Are you focusing on what is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper? What about things that are truly worthwhile and worthy of praise? Now, shift your focus over to Ephesians 4:29. Are you saying good and helpful things so that your words are an encouragement to others? Are you saying the right things at the right times in order to be helpful to your spouse in what you say? Are you ensuring that nothing foul or dirty comes from your mouth? Are you using your words as a gift to your mate?
Stop right there for a minute and realize that your words truly can be gifts! Yes, actions speak louder than words, BUT … you can choose your words wisely and they can become gifts to your spouse.
Consider this.
Ladies, your man wants to know that you respect him, admire him and think he’s capable. He wants to know that you believe in him and his abilities to care for you and the family, provide for you and overcome challenges. He also wants to know that you still find him desirable. Your affirming words to him can make a stressful day at work instantly melt away and turn his focus on you and how you just said things that built him up, especially at a time when he needed it the most.
Gentlemen, your woman wants to feel desirable as well, but above that, she wants to feel cherished, appreciated, and treasured! They also have a desire to feel needed … and no, not as a maid, cook, or servant! They need tenderness from you as well. Have you taken the time to express all of these things to her? Have you given her the gift of your words but also put action behind it so she knows without a shadow of a doubt that you hold her in high regard and think the world of her?
Join us tomorrow for … Making A Memory.
For all posts in this series, click here.
Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection
Checking The Baggage
Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28 NLT
Today’s lesson is one that we ALL need! Every one of us has carried baggage into our relationships and marriages. Not a single one of us are immune when it comes to things of the past that have hurt us greatly. Whether we’re talking about things from our childhoods growing up, to past relationships, to things that have even hurt us in our marriages. There is one thing that they all have in common, though. They are all in the past! Each and every one of these events that you are carrying around with you all happened at some point in the past. There is no changing them and no going back at this point. We can only go forward! In order to do so, we have to make peace with things in our past that are haunting us still to this very day.
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