Taking A Walk
As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him.
Colossians 2:6 NASB
Cindi began this chapter talking about her aunt and uncle. They have been married for an impressive 53 years! While things haven’t always been calm for this couple, they have slowed down as they have gotten older and now have the opportunity to literally walk together in their seventies.
In this day and age, families are always on the run. I know a few years ago I was almost burnt out by the running around that we were doing! I felt as if I hit the ground running when my eyes would open in the morning. From rushing to get the children dressed and off to school, followed by rushing to the office where I worked a full day, to then rushing to get my girls from school just to rush to dance practice, followed by finally being able to rush home, help with homework, bath time, and then getting in the bed to do it all over again the next day. Whew! I was worn out! At the time, though, it was my normal routine. I knew it was wearing on me, but I just did not realize how much at the time. If we weren’t rushing to dance practice, we were rushing to a church activity as we were involved in SO much with the church, too! My husband was a Deacon and also a part of the Buildings & Grounds Committee. I was a member of the choir and Director of an interpretive movement and sign art group at the church. One would think that with a crazy week like what we had that we would be able to rest on the weekend. That just wasn’t to be, though, as we had to get things done around the house on Saturday on days that we were not committed to dance rehearsals for an upcoming play or event at church, and while Sunday should have been a day of rest, it was slam packed from the time we got up in the morning. We would attend Sunday School, the church service, break for lunch, then hurry back for interpretive movement practice, then stay for the church service. After the evening service we would rush home to make sure all of the homework was done, book bags were packed for the next morning, and get the children baths. Then we would fall into bed from exhaustion!
Walking together? Literally? Back then, who had time!?
But, that is just the point that Cindi and Hugh make in their book and the point that I’m getting at here with this post. It may not be possible at certain points in our lives to take walks together due to our busy schedules, but if you’re too busy to spend quality time with the ones that you love … then you’re TOO BUSY!
Extending Grace
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2
Let’s face it. There are times that our spouses do things that really irk us and tick us off. When this happens, you have a choice on how you respond. You could immediately snap back with an attitude, but I can imagine the hard feelings that would come from this AND the fight that is about to develop from your lashing out. Some people like to clear the air so they can quickly move past it, so addressing it works for them especially if they go into it with a little more of a loving response. Other times, though, maybe it is better to just extend grace and not mention their shortcomings at all.
That is a hard one!
I’m not suggesting that you should brush something critical under the rug. Not by any means! But you truly do have to pick your battles. Everything that your spouse does is not done to irritate you or annoy you. Some times things just happen. Don’t try to analyze the motive behind the actions. Just realize that they are just as human as YOU are.
As Cindi put it in the book, for every five things that Hugh does that annoys her, she probably does ten things that annoy him! Often times we do not want to see this in ourselves, but it’s true. We’re only human, too, and there will be times we irritate our spouses. That is why it is so important to extend grace in your marriages! Be quick to extend grace and forgive your spouse, just as you would like your spouse to be quick to extend grace and forgive you.
There are far greater things to exert your energy on in your lives and in your marriage. Fighting should not be one of them. Quickly resolve the issue, even if that means overlooking and not commenting on something that irks you. Take a deep breath in, blow it out, and let all of your anxieties go with it! Then you’re free to move on humbly to more important issues.
Love never fails, ladies and gentlemen.
Join us tomorrow for … Taking A Walk
For all posts in this series for #write31days, click here.
Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection
Giving Each Other Space
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark,
Jesus got up, left the house and went off
to a solitary place, where he prayed.
Mark 1:35
While it is important to spend time together as a couple, it is also wise to take time away to rejuvenate. Making time for yourself will also enrich your relationships. You will find that giving each other space is a good thing. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
Cindi & Hugh found this truth out in their marriage as well, even allowing the other to travel alone. While traveling solo would not interest me, it worked in their marriage. Cindi was unable to go on the trip due to her speaking engagements, but Hugh really needed this time away due to stresses in his life. This was a wonderful gift that Cindi gave to her husband. My husband and I enjoy taking trips together, so if one were not able to go, we would just postpone the trip until our schedules allowed us to travel together. However, there are other ways that we take time to ourselves while giving each other space. Today we did that very thing.
My husband enjoys tinkering with his classic car. We have a 69 Camaro, and we have been wanting to fix it up for the past few years. We purchased a bunch of parts recently to get him started on the interior, as the exterior is in pretty good shape from when he restored it many years ago. It has been preserved by being kept in our shop for all of these years. My husband and I belong to a classic car club in town, and we are having our annual car show this coming weekend. Our goal is to have this car at the show! In order to do that, he needed to devote time to working on the interior. We just had a couple’s day Saturday where we went trail riding together on our horses, so Sunday was the perfect day to devote to his car while I devoted time to my writing. We had our much needed time away to rejuvenate, and at the end of the day, we looked forward to reconnecting. He shared the progress he made on the car, and I shared my writing with him. This worked perfectly for us.
While we enjoy the great outdoors together going horseback riding and fishing, I do realize that he will need alone time in the great outdoors as well. Hunting is just not my thing, but he enjoys it. This is something he can do alone and enjoy himself. He will feel the stress relief while sitting in the deer stand waiting on the big one to step out.
I enjoy massages. While that isn’t the same as being alone in the middle of the forest, I enjoy the relaxing atmosphere as I lay there listening to the soft music playing while the stress is worked out of every muscle in my body. The massage therapist is quiet as she works her magic, and I feel like I’m in heaven for that hour that I’m in there. I leave refreshed and rejuvenated.
This works for us. While these are just a few ideas, find what works for your marriage. It’s important to talk to your mate first, though, so they will not feel that time away means time away from them. Reassure your mate that you are not asking for time away because they’ve done something wrong or something that bugged you. Let them know that you’re not angry with them. Simply put, you just need time away to recharge your batteries. Even Jesus needed time away, as stated in the bible verse at the beginning of the post!
Join us tomorrow for … Extending Grace.
Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection
Previously in this series:
Introduction: A New Journey
Day One: Enjoying The Journey
Day Two: Leaving Self On The Shelf
Day Three: From Tense To Tender
Day Four: Praising The Positive
Day Five: The Power of A Note
