Leaving Self On The Shelf
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:4
As we discussed yesterday, everyone goes into marriage with their own preconceived ideas of how things should be. We know what we want in our mates and in our marriages. We have all of these expectations. However, disappointment sets in when we realize that our dream marriage just isn’t to be because this is real life and not a fairy tale. Pretty soon we’re questioning why we got married in the first place because our spouse is not meeting all of our needs. Maybe we desire a husband that is able to express himself emotionally yet he clams up instead of talking things out as we’d like. Or, what about our desire for more emotional support with what we’re going through, yet our spouse appears cold and distant instead of caring and compassionate. At times like this you may have prayed to God asking exactly what He was thinking to allow this union in the first place. God knows you, and He knows what you need in your mate. Yet, this is what you get? How is that even possible?
In the book that Cindi co-wrote with her husband, Hugh, Cindi speaks of how she was having these thoughts and feelings toward her husband. She complained to the Lord about her husband, and she questioned why God let them get married. Further, she wanted to know why God wasn’t transforming her husband to be the man that she needed to meet her needs and expectations. Then it hit her, and she felt as if God was saying to her that maybe, just maybe, He was looking at what her husband needed.
Enjoying The Journey
Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow.
Proverbs 3:6 CEV
Welcome to our 31 days of writing! The month of October will be devoted to digging into the words within Cindi & Hugh McMenamin’s book “When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection.” I will read one chapter a day and summarize what I’ve gotten out of the chapter and how we can all apply this to our lives and our marriages to make them the best that they can be. Are you ready to put forth your best effort in reconnecting with your spouse to rekindle the intimacy and companionship?
Are you enjoying the journey?
Cindi & Hugh begin by asking you to acknowledge that your marriage isn’t everything you had hoped and dreamed it would be. Realize that each of us go into marriage with high expectations, and due to this, we are often times disappointed. Our marriages are often times NOT like those depicted on the screen in the fairy tale romances where every day is filled with romance, passion, and gushing love. I know my marriage hasn’t been smooth sailing the entire time that we’ve been together, so I will be the first to admit that I’m a hopeless romantic and my expectations going into the marriage have not been met.
Marriage is much more than the “happily ever after” that we see in the movies. It’s about enjoying this journey with the individual that is completely different than you. It’s about enjoying getting through all of this with this one person that you’ve give your heart to and vowed to love, honor, and cherish all the days of your lives. Yes, even on the hard days! Even when times are tough, and you feel like you are at your wits end with this individual. You still have to be committed to them, to your vows, to making this work … and making it LAST!
In this first chapter, they speak of how marriage is a lot like read more…
A New Journey
Can you believe that it is the last day of September? Time just keeps marching on! As we have said “Goodbye” to Summer and “Hello” to Fall, we feel it is time for a new journey.
Excitement is building all around the web as bloggers prepare to take part in 31 days of writing. I first heard of this challenge issued annually by The Nester (more information is available by clicking here), and then our new host for Five Minute Friday, Kate, has added a twist (read about that here). We hope you will join us as we all embark on a new journey together beginning tomorrow, October 1, 2014.
We are torn as to whether to write for 31 days straight on one particular subject matter, OR whether we would like to write for only five minutes a day to prompt words provided by Kate. Hmmmm … we may end up doing a mixture of both!
I have this jewel of a book *(and you all know how I love a good book, right?!)* entitled When Couples Walk Together ~31 Days To A Closer Connection by Cindi & Hugh McMenamin. I have had this little book for a while, and previously I asked my husband to go through the book with me. The idea is that the couples are supposed to each read one chapter a day and apply it to their marriage and/or relationship. At the time, though, I could not get my husband to commit to doing this. It seemed like something always got in the way of staying on track with reading, even though the chapters are not very long at all. Now, though, after a few hard, trying months (almost six to be exact, but who’s counting, right? ~weak smile~), I brought this little book back out and asked if he would read it with me now to apply it to our marriage. It’s just 31 days, only a chapter a day. It claims to provide information to help open our eyes and to help rekindle the intimacy and companionship that first brought us together. Hugh & Cindi promise to provide simple, creative, and fun ways for us to draw closer together again, so we’re diving into this book and all it has to offer! What a perfect time, too, since it’s 31 days … and we’re now accepting the challenge here on our blog of writing for 31 days. Perfect timing with a perfect topic, and no, we did not plan this … but God did!
What marriage doesn’t need improving or a little help every now and then? If there is someone out there that claims to have the perfect marriage, well, I applaud you. In my experience, it takes work, lots of hard work and two willing partners striving to make it work daily, hourly even. It takes devotion, dedication, loyalty, faith, commitment, trust, and a whole bunch of other things rolled together … not just simply love. We need God in the mist of all of this within our marriages.
While my husband and I have already started reading this book, tomorrow I will begin summarizing what I’ve learned in the chapters … one post a day for 31 days.
We’re all in … will you join us?
