American Indian Heritage Month
What is now upon us? American Indian Heritage Month. What does this mean? To many, not much. We have many (Insert race) Heritage History months.
What does it mean to me being Native American (Comanche)? Being raised by a mother who was raised on a reservation, being taught Native American culture, language and history along with the same from my fathers side or “taibo.”
I spent the better part of my early school years living a life that was similar to the lyrics of the Cher song “Half Breed.” I had longer hair than many of the girls in my elementary school and even had a bird feather left on my school desk by a wanna-be-bully.
I have always been more drawn to that part of my heritage than my “taibo” side. My mother had my naming ceremony early in my life, but I have very little memory of that day. I do, however have a deep and binding tie to that name. I don’t know how my mother knew me so well at that young age (I was 3) of what I would become as an adult. She gave me the name “Waya Ka-ni” which loosely translated means “Wolf who watches over.”
I met my spirit guide when I was a young teen after my mother passed away — a large black wolf, who has been with me my entire life since that first meeting. My life, personality and values are that of a wolf. How she knew. I’ll never know.
Native heritage, Native culture, Native beliefs. What does all that mean? How can anyone begin to understand in simply 30 days? I don’t think that anyone can. However, I do believe in the awareness brought up by the media; showing that the Native peoples of America have a deep, rich and very long culture, deeply rooted in the life force that is Mother Earth. We all come from her. All races, colors and beliefs start with Mother Earth, and it is to her we will all return. Now this is all that I have believed, what I have been taught. Every living thing has a spirit, and if you only listen, you can hear them. To this day, I can still hear my mother. Her name was “Tauni-mara” (which means North Wind).
Native American people have deep beliefs in community, “It’s not what you have, it’s what you have to give.”
I was asked once by an adorable nine year old girl, “Are Indians dirty?” Was I offended? How could one be offended by such an innocent question. Over the decades Native people have been portrayed as “savages,” “uncultured,” “barbarians”. People always fear what they do not know. In this case this sweet little girl was simply curious and asked a question probably based on some photos she had seen in school depicting Indians living in teepees. I answered her simply, “No we are not, we are as clean as you and your family.”
My second example would be driving to work. I have on occasion seen someone having a dream catcher hanging from their rear view mirrors. I can only chuckle. Why, you ask? A dream catcher should only be hung where you sleep, so I chuckle thinking that person must sleep a lot in their car. It’s not a decoration. To many Native people, it is a special tool for allowing their children to sleep soundly without nightmares. To allow them to come to the creator without fear.
I was told once by someone that they had “become Indian.” (Insert confused head tilt here.) Huh? My only guess to that is that this person was taking on the beliefs of Native people. Though, I am not sure of how one “becomes Indian.” I mention this because it is these situations that proves to me the need for a cultural awareness and education.
The Native cultures run long in history and deep in tradition. Some may seem to people silly or even ridiculous. I say to them, to many Native people the “taibo” can be just as silly and ridiculous. Just because it is different, does not make it any less important. Coming to a beginning of understanding that Native People are different – in every way. We may put on a suit and tie, or a lab coat, or a hard hat, but we are all still red men inside.
I have often suggested to, well, just about anyone that would listen, to find and attend a pow wow in their area. The beating drum is the living beating heart of the people. It is there you can gain a little more understanding of the Native people all around you. We are still here; Living our lives, raising our children, looking after our families.
I say “Thank you” for the American Heritage month. It’s a start, a start down a path of knowledge and understanding. A start to the appreciation of cultures that are long, deep and rich. We could celebrate a heritage month a little bit every day.
I am ever grateful for the teachings of my mother. Ever thankful to my ancestors for helping me.
Life is a circle. When my circle is close to completing, I will return to Mother Earth and to my ancestors and hope they accept me for trying to live my life with honor.
You have noticed that everything an Indian does is in a circle, and that is because the Power of the World always works in circles, and everything tries to be round … The Sky is round, and I have heard that the earth is round like a ball, and so are all the stars. The wind, in its greatest power, whirls. Birds make their nest in circles, for theirs is the same religion as ours…Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were. The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves.
–Black Elk Oglala Sioux Holy Man
Begin
So you made a mistake. You messed up. You thought you had it all together, but something went wrong along the way. Things happen. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes so you don’t repeat them.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Stop beating yourself up!
Breathe … in … and hold it … then slowly release.
Allow all of your anxieties to flow out of your lungs through your body as they make their way out of your mouth as you blow out with determination and force. Imagine that all of the negatives are being forced out right along with it. Oh sure, some negativity tries to remain no matter how hard you blow out. I can imagine slippery, slimy particles holding on by little suction cups on their hands and feet. You blow, you exhale hard, and they lose their grip! Yes! Success as one screams its way past another and this negative being is no more! As you continue to breathe out, even MORE negativity leaves your body …
You hold your head back for a moment as a smile creeps across your face now, and you are ready to begin again.
This post was inspired by the Five Minute Friday prompt word: Begin. Join us at the new location for the link up next week, but for now, this is the last hoo-ray over at Lisa Jo’s site!
A Calm State of Panic
I imagine on some level we all experience this same feeling at some time in our lives; a calm state of panic. We try to be still and to let be and let God and be open to whatever may next greet us on this trail of life. Instead we feel ourselves set adrift on the seas of life with land in sight but no clear sailing as yet to shore. It is during these times that we hope for the best while remaining mindful that things may not have the outcome we pray for so deeply. When in a Calm State of Panic, I think it’s possible that you – the reader – like me, are hanging on emotionally for dear life hoping that nothing tips the precious boat of life we have so carefully crafted. The boat we thought infallible. The boat we built on faith and trust and belief that there would certainly be rough waters along the way but not that we’d capsize – or come close to capsizing…multiple times. The boat all our hopes and dreams rest in. I don’t know about you but I’m tired of the hurricanes and floods; I’d prefer small swells to overcome, thank you!
I try to remember that when I feel set adrift yet again, perhaps lost at sea for a bit, the way home may involve a rough entrance through the waves rushing to the shore before you can disembark and move on. Sometimes the waves are mighty and huge and very intimidating depositing you somewhere you’d never intended to be; perhaps feeling as if one must pick up the pieces, start over and make a life from this point forward. Sometimes under the calm waves lurks a sneaky and hazardous riptide ready to pull you back out to sea, back into the turmoil, the uncertainty. Sometimes you get extremely lucky and the waves are calm and prove to be nothing more than a momentary bit of drama made big only in our heads or a tide so even and calm that one glides to shore. What matters in those moments as you ride to shore is to hold dear the gratitude felt knowing our craft is built with might on our hopes and prayers and dreams and that it is the sturdy craft that survives to shore, no matter what the conditions. It is with strong, unmovable hope and faith that we hold on to our dreams and with prayer that the boat stays together, weather’s all storms, holds us together in love and belief that we will not be abandoned this time around either. It is the knowingness that during the time between leaving the clear ocean and finding abrupt shore that one has no control; there is a greater influence at work and “it” is in charge, not you. It is clear to me that this is the moment when one must enter a Calm State of Panic hoping and praying you arrive safely on shore once again but being aware that it’s a process to get to where one wants to be. There must be trust that the ocean will behave as you hope and pray it will, that no rocks or shoals are found as you head for the comfort and safety and knowingness of land. That the thing that is Greater Than You will guide you and those you love to peace and serenity and comfort and joy.
When our only choice is to let go, we must let go and let be – that is if you don’t want to drive yourself nuts with worry and anxiety over “what could be”. It is now that we must be observant and change course if necessary, to allow the panic but see that it is but a small part of our overall belief that all is well and we are each in the place we are meant to be. Perhaps the ride in will teach us new lessons this time around, who knows? My hope today is that I am open to “what will be” as I have no ability to control outcomes during the ride to land or emotional safety. The sometimes rocky ride to shore we take requires us to be patient, to believe what we see and hear but not buy into the insecurity of the blind and faithless. We must trust that with God’s guidance, the wave ridden to peace will take us not only where we desire to be but where we are meant to be. I want to be one of the mighty and courageous who fight their way to land each and every time and never gives up or flounders at sea. Our only true choice is to live with an open heart, to believe in possibility and trust that whatever the journey, it is the right direction for us and Creator would not lead us where we were not supposed to be at that time.
I don’t know about you but I am tired, extremely, bone-deep-tired of finding my boat put out to sea, waiting and watching to see what tide, what type of tide, will bring me in this time around. Are those storm clouds in the distance or is it my mind playing tricks on me; false evidence appearing real? For me the hard part comes in trusting my instincts while having patience and faith as my craft arrives on shore riding the waves of life along the way. Being tired does not stop the ride; it only makes one dig deeper to find the spark of “I can” that exists in each of us. “This shall not defeat me!” It could be difficult to look back at my boat’s Captain’s Logs and see the long list of past events which have made many arrivals on shore surely not the most easily traversed or the arrival a sure guarantee; it could lead to great discouragement on future attempts. Will I dodge another rough entry or will this landing be a “batten down the hatches” memory – or will I have imagined the worst only to experience a peaceful, enjoyable ride in? It is in my Calm State of Panic that I drop anchor out at sea and determine weather conditions and how I will remove the gap that leaves me emotionally stranded at sea while seeing so clearly the beautiful beach and shore that awaits me. During this time I must “read” the waves and watch the ebb and flow of water/life before I make my ultimate return to land where the panic will subside and I will know where I am, how I am to proceed and to get on with the business of living a full life. I only need be patient and lead with the faith of a child to allow God to do His work in my life and to trust that His work is healing work, loving work – He will see that my preciously-built craft holds together in whatever the conditions may be to the shore and that faith and belief and love will triumph once again! We do not always know exactly where we will land; it’s more of an “I’m aiming here…” (pointing to a general location on a map) situation but where we land is determined by Creator and our next task is to repair and store our vessel for the next ride and be grateful for the gift of solid footing while it lasts. There is but one guarantee; there is no controlling Mother Earth or the weather or even when God and the angels decide to have a romping, roaring time bowling in heaven and it is the fool’s task to make such an attempt.
I have come to learn that the ride in may be rough but with faith and courage, I will walk in the sand on the shore admiring a quiet sunrise or sunset knowing that I – and my place in the world – are secure once again. “Just believe,” are the words ringing in my head and heart at this time! Today I have achieved a cautious Calm (yet aware) State of Panic. I am holding fast to reality in that the weather conditions have not yet been determined for this passage to shore but that once given the weather conditions, I can survive whatever storm or pounding wave that wants to toss me overboard and leave me rolling in the surf. My craft is strong and held together with the love of God and He will see that I stay secure in my sturdy boat of faith and love. I rest in the knowledge that I will come out stronger and wiser with a deeper respect and stronger belief in He That Can, and Will, if I step out of the way and let Him do His work in my life. I cannot fight the weather if I don’t know what weather to fight. My role is to pay attention to the signals around me, to listen when Spirit wants to show me the way; to not reject the direction given me simply because it is the more difficult journey. Patience; God will bring the necessary knowledge in His time; I will not be left to float aimlessly about in doubt but will sail with direction in faith that I am rowing with the movement of the water and not against the tide of life.
Remember, your boat is capable and built of courage and faith and belief and all the things we need to achieve our goals. Your craft is strong and will weather the storms of life – you will know and grow strong and courageous in the love and belief that comes from having stood tall and unafraid of “what may be” because you live in the blessed understanding of knowing “Who Is”. God does not intend you to doubt. He intends you to have full faith and to believe no matter what the conditions that currently surround you may be, you will get through, you will ride the swells, big and small, and comfort and safety and love will find your heart and bring peace upon it again.
You will get there – your craft is strong.
“When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.”
Patrick Overton
