Be Present and Available
July and August are months that my friend and I struggle to get through every year. You see, I lost my sister, Pamela, on July 9th, 2001. She died a very tragic death, one that still affects our family to this very day. My friend lost his mother a few years later on July 13, 2004. He was his mother’s primary caregiver and was there with her until the very end. The final moments will remain with my friend forever. And then, a little over a year ago, my friend lost his sister, Julia.
We have tried to go on with our lives, but there is a part of us that our loved ones took with them when they left this earth. We have been forever changed and have been impacted by these precious people that have gone too soon.
What do you say when someone is hurting? How do you comfort them in their time of need? How do you reassure them that everything is going to be okay when you have no way to ensure that it will now that their loved ones have passed away?
I find myself at a loss for words each and every year. I don’t want to be so consumed in my grief that I am not “there” for my friend in what they are going through. If my friend needs me, I want to be there for them. I think the hardest part for me is that I want to “do” something to relieve their pain, and there isn’t a single thing in the world that I can do to accomplish this. It’s unobtainable because they do hurt and their pain is real. There truly is nothing that I can say that will be of any comfort to them, and there isn’t anything I can physically do for them to provide peace and understanding. There’s no gift that I could send that will wipe away their tears.
Through the years, the only thing I have found that I can do is pray for them. I know they’re struggling, whether they say the words or not. My heart feels a special connection to their heart, and when they hurt, I hurt, too. It’s as simple as that. So, I pray. I ask God to provide peace and comfort as only He can. When I’m not physically able to wrap my arms around them due to the distance that we live apart, I ask God to wrap His loving arms around my friend, to draw him close and allow my friend to rest his weary head on God’s shoulder for a little while. I ask for peace to come over my friend, peace that could only be provided by our Heavenly Father. I ask for reassurance that my friend is never truly alone, even if he may feel that way at the moment.
I send my thoughts out into the universe, and I allow my heart to speak to my friend’s heart across the miles. That soft whisper during the evening, that’s my heart calling to his to reassure that he is not alone. He is always in my thoughts and in my heart. Miles may separate us, but hearts that truly care are always near.
The only gift I can think to give at a time like this is to let my friend know that I’m present and available should they need to talk about their loved ones or their feelings at this time. I want my friend to know that I’m always here for them no matter what but especially even more so at this time. On their “tender days” I may not call attention to it by announcing that I know what day it is, but I’m present and available, even if it’s just by sending a silly little smiley face in a blank message. That’s me acknowledging them and letting them know that I’m here.
I know my friend is struggling this week, especially. He normally carries the We Care Wednesday series. Today, I’ve taken this on to relieve him of any pressures he may be feeling at this time.
I’d like to challenge you and call you to action today. On this We Care Wednesday, if there is someone that has been on your heart and mind, will you reach out to them today? It doesn’t have to be a detailed email or a long winded phone conversation. It can just be a “thinking of you” call or “You’re in my thoughts” type of message. The point is to let someone know that you care, that you’re present, even if miles away, and available for them. Will you accept the challenge today, especially if it’s someone you haven’t spoken to in a while?
Another challenge is to consider someone that you haven’t spoken to in a while due to a difference of opinion or a conflict that arose a while back. If something caused you two to part ways, would you consider reaching out at this point? There is no guarantee of how it will turn out once you do, but the point is to put forth the effort to let someone know that you care … after that, it is up to them as to what they do with this gift that you’ve given to them. They can accept it wrapped in a beautiful bow of love, or they can turn away and choose to ignore it as the beautiful bouquet of flowers of your heart wilt. We aren’t in control of what happens or how someone will react, we are only in control of reaching out, putting forth that effort to let the other know that we’re thinking of them and that we care, regardless of the circumstances. All you can do is try … that’s all I ask.
If this is too much for you at this time, I understand. Would you, then, reach out to them through your words of prayer to our Heavenly Father? Will you whisper words of love to our Creator and ask for His hand of protection over their lives?
To my friend that is hurting at this time, I’m here sweetie. I’m available at any time if you need or want to talk, and if not, that’s okay, too. I’ll still be here whispering prayers and words of love from my heart to yours reaching across the miles that separate us … today, tomorrow … always.
Be True
In the fallen world that we’re living in, it seems so easy to betray someone. Without giving it a second thought, people lie, betray, deceive, and cheat on an unsuspecting soul. Ah, but don’t think that you’ve “gotten one over” on someone because although this trusting and loving soul believed in you and didn’t see this coming, God knows and sees all.
You may think that you were slick and have gotten by this time, or you may even have the “What they don’t know won’t hurt them” type of mentality. What I’d like you to realize is that you’re only hurting yourself for when the truth finally comes out (and believe me, it will … truth always prevails) you will have lost all of the faith and trust that this person once put into you. Not only that, but you will lose the respect they had for you as well.
Will you be able to hold your head up high then? Will you be able to look yourself in the mirror every morning with the knowledge that you betrayed the one person that had such faith and trust in you? Will you be able to live with yourself knowing that you betrayed someone that believed in you?
This person that has been so faithful and loyal to you did not deserve to be deceived, and even the act of omission is being deceitful. When you purposefully withhold information and are not up front with that person, you are betraying and being deceitful.
How would you feel if you were on the receiving end of this?
I’ve been mocked throughout life for being “too gullible.” Let’s pause for a moment and realize what this very word means:
Gullible – Merriam-Webster Online, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/
Gullible – easily fooled or cheated; especially : quick to believe something that is not true. Full Definition of GULLIBLE. : easily duped or cheated
So I’m the gullible one. I’m the one you mock and laugh at when you have purposely set out to fool me or cheat me? Why is this viewed as a character flaw of mine, yet you’re the one smiling because you’ve easily deceived me? You’ve lied to me and you’re boasting of the fact that you’ve betrayed my trust in you? Honestly tell me, is this something to be proud of? In my book, it’s not. Something that I highly respect is when a person is honest with me. When you show that you’re trustworthy, loyal, honest, and true – that is when you can brag and smile proudly – when you show me that you’re a man or woman of integrity and of good character.
Don’t laugh at me for being “gullible” or pity me for being so naive. I don’t deserve being laughed at, mocked, or pitied for being an honest person expecting to interact with other honest people in this world.
Let’s look at the word naive for a moment, shall we:
Naive – Merriam-Webster Online, www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/
naive – having or showing a lack of experience or knowledge : innocent or simple
I don’t lack experience or knowledge. I’ve been around the block quite a few times and endured a lot of heartache and pain in my lifetime. I’ve been betrayed more times than I care to remember, yet I still choose to see the good in people. I am not lacking anything … I’m simply choosing to love and believe that there is good in every one that I meet. Some will abuse it. Some will try to use it to their advantage. The innocent or simple girl that is so easily deceived. Oh yes, that’s something to be proud of – that I am an honest person and expect honesty in return. It’s not a flaw in my character that I’m so trusting.
The next time you think of betraying someone, stop and ask yourself how you would feel if someone did this to you. Consider the hurt you’d feel if you heard someone talking about you behind your back when you trusted with all of your heart to find that the person simply wasn’t trustworthy after all.
Think before you speak, before you act, and before you betray another innocent and unsuspecting soul. Even if they don’t ever realize what you’ve done, God sees all.
Take action on this Tuesday and right a wrong! If you have wronged someone in ANY of the above ways mentioned above, make it right today. Fall on your knees and beg forgiveness from God for betraying a friend, family member or loved one, and then go to that person and beg forgiveness as well. Confess what you’ve done and vow never to knowingly and willingly lie, deceive, betray or cheat them or another person again. Be a person of good character. Be a respectable person of integrity. Have good morals and values about you. Be loyal. Be true!
A Grateful Spirit
Things are tough in the world today. People are dealing with far more stress and anxiety than ever before. When once we would occasionally feel overwhelmed, that feeling has become the norm in a lot of lives. There never seems to be enough hours in the day to get it all done. There’s work, there’s family responsibilities, children that are growing up way too fast that need our love, time, and attention, and then there are chores around the house that need to be done as well. You may feel stretched to the limit at times. When could you possibly fit in any time to just … be? When would it be possible to just take a day off from life and be still?
When you throw in the fact that a lot of families are struggling financially these days, with gas prices soaring through the roof and the increase cost of groceries, the stress level shoots through the roof. There are some families that have just faced lay offs at their jobs, while others have been unemployed for months.
With all of this whirling around you, is it even possible to have a grateful spirit? In my opinion, yes, it is. You see, I’ve been a struggling single mother before with very little money to pay the bills and feed my daughter. I was going through a really bad divorce, and all of the responsibilities of work and home fell solely on my shoulders along with the care of my one year old daughter. It was a difficult season in my life, but I did not allow myself to dwell on my situation. Instead, I prayed to God to help me and had faith that He would. And you know what? He did! It was not always easy, but with God, all things are possible. Even when I was struggling financially, I had joy in my heart. Why is that? Because I had my daughter, and she was my entire world! When everyone expected me to be sad and depressed, I was all smiles and cheerful for my baby girl. Was I always this way in the mist of all that I was going through? No. I tried really hard, but I had my moments. I tried to keep them to a minimum, though, because if I continued to dwell on those hard times, I would remain a ball of fear wrapped in anxiety and worry. My daughter needed me to be strong and be there … and present … for her. There is a difference in being in the same room with someone and actually being present with them. She needed my full attention, care, and love … and I gave my all to her. If I had spent one more second dwelling on my situation or the circumstances, it would have pulled me under. The depression would have surely taken over, and there would have been no way that I could carry on. Instead, I had to keep on going and remain strong for her. I prayed and just knew that God would provide, and He did.
In the mist of all of that, I had to be intentional and purposeful with my attitude. Sure, I could whine and complain about the situation, but would it do any good? Would it “fix” the situation or solve any problems that would crop up? No. The only thing a complaining attitude would do is allow me to remain in misery. I didn’t want that, not for myself and certainly not for my daughter, so I had to be aware of my thoughts and the words coming out of my mouth to ensure that I had a grateful spirit about me when around my daughter and others. Some times you have to fake it til you make it, and that is okay. However, when troubles threatened to steal my joy, all I had to do was look into the beautiful blue eyes of my baby girl … and my grateful spirit returned.
The next time you want to allow your complaining spirit to take over, stop yourself for a moment and begin to focus on all of the things that you have to be thankful for. Allow yourself to shift your focus from the negatives to all of the positives in your life. You have a roof over your head, food on the table, and clothes on your back. You had a family that surrounds you with love, and that is all you truly need right there … love. You have your health, even if there are some health issues that you’ve struggled with in the past. You’re still here on this earth, and that means you have a purpose, your life has meaning, and you have a lot more living to do.
Will you work this week toward being more thankful and maintaining a grateful spirit? It may not be easy in all of the circumstances that you will have to face this week, but I’m simply asking if you’ll join me in putting your best foot forward in this regard. Any time that you find yourself wanting to focus on the bad things that are happening or wanting to wallow in self pity regarding things of the past, will you, instead, begin to turn your attention to all of the good things that you have in this life? Will you turn your eyes upon Jesus and thank Him for the gift of another day? Will you honor Him by using your words to praise and lift up others, instead of fault finding and tearing yourself and others down? Will you forgive yourself of the mistakes you’ve made in the past that may be holding you back or pulling your spirit down? Will you use your words – whether it’s your internal dialogue that you speak to yourself or words spoken out loud around others – to build up and to focus on the good and the positive? It will take being intentional and purposeful, but you CAN do this!
For every negative that you wish to speak this week, will you, instead, replace it with a positive? For any thing that you’d like to complain about, will you find something in your life that you are thankful for and focus on that instead? Your words have power – and it is up to you as to if you will allow a spirit of complaining to take over or whether you’ll maintain a grateful spirit.
Choose wisely, my friend. Your joy and happiness in life depends on it.
