Finish Strong
You know the feeling as you start out with pure excitement over something new. It thrills you completely, and you walk around with this silly grin on your face. You beam with joy and happiness that pours forth from within.
Whether you’re learning to ride a bike or learning to ride a horse … you anticipate that you’ll be triumphant. You will soar high in the sky like an eagle as your spirits take you to new heights as you experience such freedom and adventure in the journey.
You’re well on your way, and then … it happens. You fall off of your bike and skin your knee, or even worse … you get thrown off of a horse (one that you did not know was “green” as in NOT fully broken nor dependable for a beginner to be riding … and no, the owner was not honest about this little piece of information that could have saved me a whole lot of pain!). There you lay on the ground as your horse bucks and runs some more … you … now with the concussion, fractured hip, and fractured hand. Yes, the latter actually happened to me on March 31, 2014.
You hurt … not from the physical pain so much as the pain you feel in not having completed something you had your heart set on. You ache … not from the pain shooting through your body as your nerves become like live wires under your skin from the impact of the hip meeting the hard ground.
Your joy and happiness has turned into tears and sorrow. You mourn over the loss of being able to ride … of accomplishing something you had your heart set on. You feel as if you’ll never be able to get back up on that horse now after this accident. You’re stuck between wanting to fulfill your dream and the harsh reality of an injury that has not only set you back physically but has impaired you mentally as well. The fear sets in, and pretty soon, you’re depressed and unsure of anything any more …
Except for what is your passion. And that is riding a horse!
And so, you heal. You allow some time to pass, and when you feel you’re ready, you get back into the saddle again. It may take you more time than before, and you may be slower on your approach or even putting one foot in the stirrup as you tremble with fear of what happened just a few short months ago. Now you’re putting your faith in another horse as you say a silent prayer … and then you lift yourself over your horse with all of your might as you take your place in the saddle again. Feet in the stirrups, reins in your hands, and a determined look on your face. You take a deep breath, exhale, and command the horse to “walk on” as you whisper silent prayers from your heart to God’s ears … feeling as if your horse tunes into those feelings and emotions on their way from you up to the clouds and into Heaven to reach the throne of Jesus.
You set out to ride this horse, to take lessons, to do this which your heart desired … and now you’re determined to have a strong finish! You WILL ride that horse. You WILL take those lessons. You WILL be a confident rider!
And you live your dream …
This post was inspired by the prompt word FINISH for the weekly Five Minute Friday party. When once I sat looking at my screen trying to write something of worth with this word, then all of the above came pouring out. Thank you, God, for allowing the words to flow and to release something that has been inside of me for months … for allowing me to release the fear and get back up on another horse to try again … to live my dream, to honor the passion I feel around your massive yet beautiful and gentle creatures … to finish strong!
What does FEAR stand for?
Consider this: what does FEAR stand for? False Evidence Appearing Real
I recently took a plane flight. I love flying! Looking down at the earth below has always been an exciting experience for me. What is not so exciting is checking in, navigating the airport and crowds, all the noise. There is much going on in an airport and for anyone it could lead to sensory overload! It does for me. As is my fashion, I make pre-arrangements to protect myself from what I know will be a difficult period for me to pass but it is momentary and I do try to keep that in mind most of all. What I do remember is that this anxiety I experience is really just a brief touch of fear and that I will endure, I will enjoy the ride, I will survive the crowds, the noise, the strangers. The FEAR.
I learned early in therapy that one of the hallmarks of a victim is their belief in FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real. When I heard that acronym used the first time it hit home for me; I let what I believe will overwhelm me, overwhelm me before I even enter a situation! All because my mind is telling me that crowds are pushy and don’t pay attention and aren’t very nice with which to deal. I believe that all the distractions around me will get to me; the noise from this establishments, people conversing on their phones, the beeps and technological noise of today’s world, and sadly, an unrealistic fear that I for some reason won’t make it through TSA – that I’ve done something wrong when logically I know I have done nothing wrong and there is no reason for anyone to take notice of me. Yes, ridiculous, but only when applied to this situation.
Fear can be stifling only because it leads us to be afraid of something we have not yet, often, experienced. My job today is to figure out how – if I no longer care to live in the negativity that is fear – do I escape the false evidence appearing real?
For me, the only escape from fear is to live in the reality of today, accepting life on life’s terms and moving forward despite – in spite of? – the fear I may hold. I do not have to let the fear control me. I need to accept that it is there but I do not need to live in it. Living in reality means doing that which is necessary to “survive” the airport experience so that I can fully enjoy the “vacation” experience!
Truth be told, the biggest fear I lived with was that people would not accept me, would think less of me, if they knew of my bipolar or brain tumor. There are stereotypes attached to those labels that I try my best to live outside of each day! I can honestly testify that having recently begun the process of no longer denying my disabilities, the “false evidence” of what I feared would happen when others found out has proven to be the exact opposite of what I’d dreamed up in mind own mind. I have found loving acceptance and not the bum-rush to the door to get away as fast as anyone could from me! Grateful doesn’t begin to express the feeling of freedom and joy this knowledge gives me.
The thing I find most sad about fear is that fear in itself can disable. It can grab ahold of a heart and clench it so tight that a person is unable to move forward to escape the fear. It can prevent someone from fully living their life. Something as simple as an airport and the brief time one spends in an airport could have prevented me from enjoying a beautiful wedding but more importantly, spending time with my new family and having a great time doing so! The thought that I could have allowed my fear to rule and deny me a wonderful experience drives me to continue to place one foot in front of the other so that I do not stifle, so that fear does not make the decisions. I do.
Have you had a time of fear in your life? Can you remember a time when you allowed false evidence to appear real for you? What did you do to overcome it? How did you step away from the fear and continue moving forward? We all have our stories, it’s when we share them that they lose their power over us.
We Care Wednesday: Show Sincere Interest
Last week I talked a little about how we all feel the need to know that we are important to someone. It gives us a wonderful feeling that we matter in this huge world we live in. One way to make a person feel good is to show sincere interest in something they love. I will relate an experience I had with this over the past weekend.
I went on a wonderful four day weekend event called the Brickman Bash. This is an event put on by musician Jim Brickman where his fans get together for a weekend of events, concerts and some time spent getting to know Jim himself. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am a shy quiet person. I go on these events by myself so I sort of keep to myself. During dinner on Saturday night the tables were setup in eight foot lengths so ten to twelve people could sit at a table. As I was looking around for a corner table to sit at with a lost look on my face when a woman asked me to join their table.
I was right in the middle between two groups having different conversations. I started thinking of some of the things I have recently read in Dale Carnegie’s book. So I thought I might try some of his suggestions for “making friends.”
The woman sitting next to me started showing some photos she had taken of wildlife in their area. The photos were truly amazing. So I complimented her on her photography skills which led her to start pulling up picture after picture. Now to be honest, wild life photography is not my thing, but her photos were quite good and very professional. I kept complimenting her on them and making suggestions for her on places she might be able to sell them as graphic artists are always looking for good photos to use in their works. She was having a wonderful time showing me the photos. I could see that my interest in her photos truly gave her pleasure. It was a wonderful feeling to see her so passionate about her photography.
You can make an impact on anyone you meet by showing interest in them; especially those in your family. Take a little of your time and spend it with them encouraging them in whatever they like to do. It will make more of a difference to them than you can ever imagine.
