We All Deserve Love!
I have been thinking lately about my upbringing and the parents who raised me. My father was gone most of the time deployed out at sea somewhere and so it was my mother who primarily raised me. I honestly do not know what it was about me that bothered my mother so but I just didn’t fit into her “ideal” of womanhood (neither size, personality, behavior). I was labeled by my early teens as the “trouble maker” and the one who always talked back. I didn’t see myself as a trouble maker nor did I see myself as someone who had the nerve to talk back to a mother such as mine! But that is how she viewed me and, in the end, it left me feeling unloved and unlovable because my own mother found fault with me, I was imperfect. I had this message so deeply ingrained in me that it took years to truly overcome those messages of old and move into a bright, happy, secure-in-self-love future.
It’s just so sad that some walk this earth feeling as if no one has ever loved them, truly loved them. They have lived existences I cannot recognize and wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Some live in their heads unable to see and feel the love available to them; some just won’t open their eyes to what’s so plainly in from of them. For whatever reason, it seems to me that it’s easier to deny love than it is to accept love. Have we become people who choose to question love instead of openly welcoming it? Have we all somewhere along the lines received the message that we are all defective and not loveable – not deserving of freeing, soul-lifting love??
I was told for many years that my “picker was broken” – meaning that I always chose men who were either not emotionally available or that wanted to use me all the time pretending they loved me – when I was just meeting a need of theirs until they found someone new to use and abuse. I had so little faith and belief in myself that I subjected myself to bad love. I did not know the extent to which I’d taken in the words of my youth, “You are not loveable.” I believed no one would ever love me or truly want me forever in their hearts and the men I dated all seemed to bear out this one simple self-fulfilling prophecy. You see, that’s what it was, a self-fulfilling prophecy. When I took in the messages and words of my youth, I took them in completely and truly felt and believed that I didn’t deserve to take up space or breathe air or receive love because I’d been labeled “bad” and that’s just who I was…bad. “Bad” people don’t deserve love. While love may have been staring me in the face – I’d deny it just to make sure I maintained that “I wasn’t loveable” message. In adulthood, I did not “own” the fact that I could define myself any way I wanted; instead I slipped into the old messages and managed my life in a way so that no one, truly, ever had the chance to try to love me.
For someone to carry the message that you aren’t right for this world, you didn’t deserve to be here, just exist but don’t be noticed, don’t draw attention to oneself – it’s hard moving into the adult years believing that you have a future or that there is goodness and grace down the road, if you are only patient. It’s hard to believe that anything you do is of value or has worth – because if it comes from someone who is worthless, how can their work be worthwhile? I lived the belief that I was unlovable and thus fulfilled my own prophecy by not finding true love till later in life – after I had found my own self-love and discovered that what I’d been told growing up was just a bunch of bunk!
Inside each and every one of us lays a seed, a spark of belief that if nurtured can result in true self-love and when we realize this, we begin the walk away from falsehoods put in our heads at a time when we knew no better. Some of us need to seek professionals to lead us to new thoughts and beliefs – sustainable thoughts and beliefs. Others need to walk the path of self-discovery on their own – uncovering as they are ready the truths that are part of their lives. Some of those truths aren’t so pretty and our tendency is to run instead of confronting them. But hang in there, every obstacle you’ve overcome in your life and every obstacle you will face in life IS NOT insurmountable! Especially when those obstacles are self-created in your own head and not based in the truth of who you truly are!
I beg of you, do not ever allow anyone but yourself to define who you are, what you stand for, what you believe in, what you deserve. God did not create us to live in fear and pain and the knowledge that we aren’t good enough. We are all good enough and deserve to be loved as we want to be loved. It’s worth holding out until you find that unconditional love you may not have yet received in your life – your OWN unconditional love. Until or unless you love yourself fully, take care of you fully, allow yourself to be loved fully – until you stop fighting the messages in your head – you will live in the place of fear and the sad knowledge that you “don’t deserve love.” We ALL deserve love; some are just harder to love than others!
Today I let others have their opinion of me because trying to change another’s mind is seriously not my task to do today. Today my job is to find self-love, self-acceptance and to be ready and open for the next person I can love and who will love me in return. Today my choice is to not live with old messages that want entrance into my brain to repeat all the negative stuff doled out in my youth. Today I live in the present and deal with what’s in front of me; the rest is up to God and His “staff” of angels. Today it’s my job to trust in the process and that I am being led to my highest good. Today I know I am lovable, not just because I exist but because I know now true love, lasting love, lifetime love. I could not have achieved this place had I not let go of the belief that I was, heart and soul, unlovable.
WE ARE ALL LOVEABLE! Know that. Feel that. Think on that. Breathe that in. It is truth.
We all deserve love!
Part of my own self-love today is recognizing when someone wants to feed me false information about myself – I no longer live on what others think of me. Who I am, what I am today is based on my beliefs today and not of the past. No one can define me but myself and this person, me – today – is lovable and deserving of love. Seek love. Seek the peace that love provides. I keep in mind today that my God is a forgiving God and if God is capable of forgiving me, He’s more than capable of forgiving you and taking away the negative thoughts you’ve carried for too long. Try to give the negativity to God and live a life of belief and love. You can’t live in grace until you’ve released you inner demons.
Stop Looking In The Rear View Mirror!
We are our own worst critic. I’m sure there are times you’ve beat yourself up over things in the past; things that we do not possess the power to change! The past is done and over with. There’s no sense in looking in the rear view mirror of your life. Sure, everyone makes mistakes. It’s important to learn the lessons in life from those mistakes so that we improve upon the person that we are and improve our lives so we don’t go down that path again. If you feel something you’ve done is a mistake that you wish you could un-do, the reality is that you can’t. However, you can learn from those mistakes. Take the positives from that situation, even if the only positive is that you are sure you never want to do THAT again so you don’t!
It’s okay to look in the rear view mirror at the memories that bless our hearts, but if you’re looking back wishing you could change the past or wishing you didn’t do this or that … stop! This is fruitless. It will not accomplish anything but making you feel worse about the situation. Stop re-living those events of the past that torment your soul. Instead, look ahead at the bright future before you.
YOU have choices today … YOU do not have to live like you did in the past. If you struggle with skeletons in your closet, let them out now so they no longer haunt you in the future. Make peace with your past so it does not poison the present or affect your future in a negative way. Release yourself from the bondage found by living in the past with regrets. Take back your power – the power to change things in the present moment!
Love yourself – despite your many flaws because no one is perfect! Accept your life as it is today, even with mistakes of the past as they have helped form and mold you into the person you are today!
Stop looking in the rear view mirror at the mistakes of the past! Stop beating yourself up about things of the past that you cannot change. Forgive yourself for all the things that have filled you with regret. Release them into the universe. Feel yourself being freed from those things so you can move on to brighter days.
You cannot change the past, but you can forge ahead determined not to make the same mistakes again. You can live a better, more positive life full of love and happiness.
YES, YOU CAN!
Begin today by no longer looking back in the rear view mirror of your life. You’re not going in that direction – look ahead to brighter days. Appreciate today and where you are in this moment. Be determined to be the absolute best that you can be. Strive for greatness. You DO have it in you! You CAN accomplish great things.
Put your game face on, and let’s do this! Begin today! Right this very moment. You have a bright future ahead of you, and you CAN live happily ever after!
Our Visit To “Pretty Place”
You may have heard people talking this week about how there was going to be a Super Moon on Saturday night. My family and I went in search of the Super Moon on the side of a mountain with a spectacular view. We visited “Pretty Place” Chapel at the YMCA Camp in Greenville, South Carolina.
Our story began a year ago when we took a chance and ventured out on a day trip to the Greenville area. Being the planner that I am, I packed a full day’s worth of sightseeing and picture taking of waterfalls in the area. I read about “Pretty Place,” but I had never seen it for myself so I just “had” to do that while in the area. It was the same night that a Super Moon was to appear last year as well.
We made our way around the mountain last year with visions of what it would look like when we arrived. We hadn’t checked the weather forecast, and even if we had, it was so high up that the weather is so unpredictable at that level. We took a chance anyway. Once we reached the top, there it sat in all of it’s glory; “Pretty Place!”
Once out of the vehicle, and still very much in awe, we walked slowly to the chapel that stood before us. As if showing reverence, we bowed our heads as we entered the structure. There were pews like a regular church, only this was open on the sides, unlike a regular church structure. At the very end stood a magnificent wooden cross.
The weather started to quickly change just as the sun was setting, but we waited still with others who had gathered that evening to catch a glimpse of the Super Moon. As we waited, we met a gentleman and his girlfriend. They were a friendly couple, and we struck up a conversation about our cameras. He shared his camera with me and how it worked, and immediately I fell in love with it and knew I HAD to have one just like it. He provided the name and where to get a good deal, and that very week I set off in search of a camera just like his for my very own!
Disappointment set in as we realized that storms were rolling in. Just at the time we had hoped to see the Super Moon, we saw clouds and fog rising instead. Then the rain started pouring down, and we were forced to vacate “Pretty Place” and make our way down the mountain. We couldn’t be too upset, though, for we spent the evening with some mighty fine people. They lived in the area and had attempted to photograph the Super Moon three times already without any luck. However, they did take some pictures prior to our arrival, and they said they would email those to us since our pictures only captured the rising clouds and fog behind the cross. Sure enough, the next week, our new found friends emailed pictures, and we connected on Facebook! That night, we certainly did make two new and precious friends!
We went to “Pretty Place” expecting to see something spectacular, when what actually happened is that we ended up feeling it instead. We felt the sacredness of the chapel, the strong connection to God at that elevation, and our hearts were humbled.
We made new friends that night, and they weren’t just friends in passing. No, they have proved to be true as THIS year when we heard of the dates of the Super Moon, we sent them a Facebook message asking if they were going to try for the fourth time to capture the Super Moon at “Pretty Place.” Sure enough, they were planning on trying again, and they said, “See you there!” That was all it took, and a road trip was on!
All week long I looked forward to this event, and I made sure to pack my camera with an extra battery “just in case.” My oldest daughter is really getting into photography now, too, so she had her camera ready as well! Then, we set out Saturday for our adventure.
As we arrived, the same feelings enveloped us as we made our way to the chapel. Sure enough, our friends were there waiting with their camera in hand. He, wearing his cowboy hat, with her seated just a little ways from him knitting. These people just make me smile. They are the nicest people, and who would have ever thought a friendship could have been formed like this! It has been, though, and we couldn’t be happier!
They greeted us as they saw us enter the chapel to walk down to take our seats. The gentleman said they almost had given up on us due to how close it was to the time for the moon rise. We explained about our long travel to reach our destination, but we were determined to be there for this Super Moon. He, then, said that pictures would be up to me that night as his batteries were dead. I reached into my bag and produced an extra battery for him to use, since we now have the same camera, and his face lit up! He thanked me for “saving the day!” And within a few minutes, as we waited with our friends and several others that had gathered, the Super Moon made it’s presence known. It was subtle at first, slowly rising faintly in the sky, to which I wanted to squeal with delight when I saw it before our friends did! Then this beautiful moon, in all of it’s brilliant colors, rose higher in the sky and appeared closer as it positioned itself perfectly in the sky. We were in awe! How absolutely marvelous it was to see the Super Moon in all of it’s glory at “Pretty Place” surrounded by our family and friends! How reassuring to know that our Father in Heaven made ALL of this with His strong and mighty hands, and yet gently formed us, every detail of us, even knowing how many hairs we have on our heads … there are no words!
In the distance you could hear all of the wondrous sounds of nature as if the creatures were celebrating alongside us and praising God by raising their voices as well. We sat quietly listening, allowing it to calm us and speak to our very souls.
Then …
The ranger came to advise us that they needed to shut the gates, so we would all have to vacate the premises. Ah, but it was so very beautiful while it lasted, and our friends were successful on their fourth trip to “Pretty Place” and were able to finally capture the Super Moon! We were thrilled that we were able to do so on our second trip!
We took one more glance, one more picture …
We followed our friends down the side of the mountain, and halfway down, they turned off to a place called Bald Rock. They messaged us, and soon we turned around and joined them. We thought “Pretty Place” was breathtakingly beautiful, and it is … but standing on top of Bald Rock looking out at the vastness of the sky and the depth below us with this giant spotlight of a moon above us … it was absolutely amazing! My youngest daughter was so taken with Bald Rock, she said it was as if she was walking on the moon for the rock had “craters” that you could imagine being like those on the moon. We decided to lay on this massive rock and just “be” … be one with nature, be one under the beautiful sky with our family and friends, be one with God! What a wonderful feeling to just “be” surrounded by such beauty and such love from God.
We had a wonderful evening and could not wait to share “Pretty Place” with you! If you are ever in the Greenville, South Carolina area, whether it’s on a night of the Super Moon or not, please be sure to check this jewel out! Be prepared and forewarned as it will take your breath away! Pictures do not do this place justice!
I will lift up my eyes to the hills … Psalm 121:1
