Broken Can Still Be Useful
I read this week about how an egg isn’t useful unless it is broken. Immediately, I flipped to another article, not wishing to be reminded of the times in my life I felt broken. After a few days, I returned to the article, now ready to face what reminders would come.
There are situations in life that take us to our breaking point, and even people that tear us down and break our spirit leaving us on the floor in a heap crying out to God in our soul-crushing, heart-shattering despair. Consider yourself extremely blessed if you have never encountered anything of the sort. For the majority of people, life has left us beaten and battered, tossed around in the storms that rage at us, tearing at our worth.
Rest assured; God is close to the broken-hearted. Pslam 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
I have written on this scripture before, and I always come back to it as it is one of the most important and encouraging messages when you are going through a devastating trial in your life. When your heart has been broken, you are closer to God than you may believe. He counts every tear that falls and knows the turmoil you feel even when all you can manage to mutter is His name.
Don’t fear appearing “weak” to others around you by admitting your vulnerableness as a human and showing your emotions. Instead, feel sorry for those who do not allow emotions to show for whatever reason. Feelings aren’t right or wrong. They just are … and no one has the right to tell you that you are “wrong” for feeling a certain way or that you “shouldn’t” feel this way or that way. Your feelings are your own, whether others understand them or not. Your feelings are valid, and they matter.
Whether you’re grieving for a broken relationship, the loss of someone you love dearly, or a temporary situation that seems permanent, lasting, and unchanging, God is there in all of your brokenness. Friend, I cannot know your brokenness nor you mine, unless we are transparent. However, God sees all that has transpired leading up to this point, and He knows how it will play out even as you find it hard to breathe from moment to moment.
Consider this:
Ephesians 3:20: Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Maybe things have to fall apart and break our hearts for God to build back better in its place. We are nothing without God in our lives and in our relationships. You simply cannot get through life without God, and I, for one, would never even attempt a day without Him by my side. He is my ever-faithful companion and friend. When life explodes around me and I am at a loss for how to move forward, I put my faith and trust in Him.
God knows what the future holds, and you may not think God can use you in your brokenness right now. But He can. Broken can still be useful. Maybe this time in your life has allowed you to become more compassionate for others struggling around you. Maybe it has made you even more aware that people are hurting so deeply inside even though they flash that smile to the outside world. Maybe God wants you to be the person to open your heart to show the hurting that you truly care. All it takes is one soul reaching out to another to change the world in that instance for the grieving, brokenhearted individual. Behind the scenes, God is turning this mess into something beautiful. You just cannot imagine it at the moment but know that with God all things are possible through Him.
Boundaries
Just recently, someone dear to me endured the “wrath” of several individuals who tried to “put her in her place” because she didn’t act or react the way they wanted her to. ~insert the biggest eye roll ever here~
News Flash: We are individuals that have free will, a mind of our own, with morals, and values that are not like theirs (as in, theirs are severely lacking, to say the least). Furthermore, we can choose how to conduct ourselves without being under the control of a narcissist. Shocking, I know.
My recommendation for this precious soul was to read a book that helped me many years ago:
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
And so, this precious individual not only bought the book but dove into it ready to equip herself and set more boundaries in place without feeling incredibly guilty about doing so!
As Christians, we are taught to turn the other cheek. Here’s the thing, though. After turning the other cheek so many times, you finally get tired of the neck injury and the bruises on both of your cheeks. Certain people take advantage of us, especially when they know we are Christians. They think they can get away with more because we’re “supposed” to turn the other cheek, or we’re “supposed” to say yes to accommodate them. While I believe there are appropriate times to do both, you do have to dig your heels in and stand firm with individuals known to push you around.
Consider the following and answer honestly if you have seen yourself doing any of these things in the past:
(Photo credit to Cloud And Townsend Boundaries Quotes. QuotesGram)
If ANY of the above rings true, this book is for you! No, I am not getting paid to write this and am not benefitting one bit by advertising this book. The only thing I stand to gain from this is equipping others with the knowledge and tools found in this book by these two men! It will truly benefit YOU to read this book if you have any boundary issues in your life.
Will it be easy putting boundaries in place or drawing a line in the sand with some people? No. They will resent you for the boundaries you put into place. This won’t be the norm when dealing with you, and they will resist the boundaries. They will test the boundaries. Stand strong with your armor on and brace for the attack. Believe me, it will come. They will say things to hurt you when you tell them no or refuse to allow them to control you. Hold your head up high. What you are doing by putting boundaries in place is extremely healthy for you and your family!
Here’s to taking care of YOU!!!
Bravo, friend. Bravo!
Feeling Like I Lived
Today marks 21 years I have lived without my sister. Desperation and depression took her from me. She was only 32 years old.
Every year I think I can get by without it affecting me. This “tender day” of July 9th shouldn’t hold such agonizing memories for me, yet on the way to the wildflower field this morning I kept having flashbacks to this day in 2001. The scene that unfolded 21 years ago was just as vivid today riding down the interstate as it was the day it happened. Fighting back tears, I tried to think good thoughts, and even turned on loud music to drown out any thoughts that tried to haunt me. At one point I am almost sure my husband’s ears were ringing from the thump of the bass. Blinking back the tears, I shifted to thoughts of happier times.
Later, at the wildflower field, I was able to escape in the beautiful array of colors. The variety of vibrant colored Zinnias in light pink, hot pink, red, white, orange and yellow took me away for a little while as we strolled throw the meadows along the pond. Being among nature is good for the soul.
We left the wildflower field and continued on toward an old mill in the upstate. We love going on little adventures and exploring all of God’s beautiful countryside. While we were there, we stepped inside an old structure filled now with graffiti and litter. As we looked around wondering what it was like back when the mill was active, the writing on the wall seemed to speak to me.
“If the world was coming to an end, I don’t wanna close my eyes without feeling like I lived.” MGK
There’s so much my sister has missed since she has been gone. She missed her daughter growing up, graduating high school, and having two children of her own (a boy, three years old now, and a girl, six months old at the time of this writing). She missed my youngest daughter being born and my oldest daughter doting over the baby sister she asked God for. My sister missed recitals, family vacations, cheer practice, volleyball games, silly Christmas pictures with everyone wearing matching pajamas, graduations, weddings, and all the things she SHOULD have been here for but wasn’t.
I wonder with the time she did have on this earth if she truly felt like she lived.
I’ll forever remember the feeling that washed over me shortly after her passing. No one knows how long they will live. We all hope for long, healthy lives, but none are guaranteed this gift. I’m sure you can think of people gone way too soon at an early age as well. Several people come to my mind, too. That’s why I have tried to live, truly enjoy life, for myself and for all the things my sister didn’t get to do with her short time here on this earth. We are made for much more than just to work, deal with stressors, and pay taxes. Our time on earth should be to make a difference in the lives of others and to enjoy the beauty that surrounds us. We should go on more adventures, tell people we love them a whole lot more than we do, and spend more quality time together making memories.
I want to feel like I have lived … and so I took swimming lessons and went scuba diving in the Grand Cayman Islands shortly after my sister’s passing. I’ve hiked down the side of a steep mountain to the ruins of an airplane crash to pay respects to those who lost their lives. Sailing in the ocean feeling the wind in my hair or putting the top down on my little convertible has allowed me to feel completely free. Riding on the back of my horse has given me the ability to connect more deeply with God as we explore areas we’ve never been before from the North Carolina mountaintops to the sandy shores of the beaches. We’ve traveled to Hawaii and experienced the culture there while respecting the land and local residents. We have LIVED … in honor of my sister.
Her passing made us all realize that although we don’t want to think about a tragedy occurring in “our” family, sadly, it can and does happen. No one is immune to loss. Our worlds can be totally fine one day with us happy one moment and our entire world crashing around our feet the next.
No one is promised a happy life. You will get beat up and knocked around as you try to merely survive at times. The world won’t stop for your broken heart, just like Reba McEntire sang in her song from the 90s. The world will keep on turning as you pick up the shattered pieces of your heart and life.
From suicides, to random shootings, to drug overdoses, these are just a few things that can seemingly destroy your happy life and family. When someone is ripped from your life, you find yourself wondering how you will be able to breathe from one second to the next. God … that is how. He has been the only reason I am still here today. The Lord truly is close to the brokenhearted as scripture promises us in Psalm 34:18.
So live. For yourself. For your family. For the loved ones that left this world too soon.
Live.
