Grief
The latter part of Psalm 30:5 reads: “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”
I’m sure you can recall a time in your life when you endured intense grief, when the tears fell like rain and you didn’t think you would ever feel whole again. We love so deeply, and when we face a devastating loss, it feels like it will cripple us completely. For a time, it does. Then we decide we cannot live in that depressed state, and we try to force ourselves to get out of bed. At times this is easier said than done. When a person hurts to the very core of their being, they have no idea how they will take their next breath or how to put one foot in front of the other. All they know is that they hurt tremendously.
What can you do for others during a period in which you know they are hurting deeply? When you really want to take their hurt and pain away, but feel so helpless because you can’t, all you can do, it seems, is pray. Prayer is a wonderful thing that connects you directly to God above. He is the only one that can help mend your broken heart.
Why does it hurt so much? Because we love so deeply with our whole hearts. Because the thing or person we wanted most is taken from us suddenly and tragically. Our hopes, dreams, and futures are bound so tightly to the one thing we wanted most that was stripped away.
When it is so easy to lose hope … cling to the promises of His word.
Rejoicing comes in the morning …
We struggle to see what good could possibly come from … THIS! We have a million questions but no answers. Anger wells up inside of us, and we just want to scream!
Just recently I felt like this, and my well-meaning coworker and friend asked me to listen to a praise and worship song when that was the very last thing I wanted to do! Yet, I know this person cares for me and only wanted to help. So, I gave in, pulled it up on the computer, and sat there listening to the words as the video played.
Praise?
and
Worship?
At a time like this?
I just did not have it in me at that moment in time. So, I sat there quietly listening to the words I didn’t want to hear. As the song finished, he slowly walked back into his office. I remained staring at my screen trying to feel because at that point, I was just numb.
Music usually helps me. We connect with the lyrics and the music as it flows. This time I sat still, then I managed to pull myself forward in my seat to select songs by Casting Crowns. I have always loved their music, and I wanted to turn up the volume and get lost in their songs. One of the very first songs to play was, “Scars In Heaven.” I have never heard that song before, and as I paste the words below, I’m sure you will understand the tears that streamed down my face, and I rested the back of my head on my chair, almost lifeless at this point. The one I wanted to scream at and demand answers to my question of WHY … was the very One I needed comfort from.
Would be the last time
I would have put off all the things I had to do
I would have stayed a little longer
Held on a little tighter
Now what I’d give for one more day with you
Where something’s missing
And they tell me that it’s gonna heal with time
But I know you’re in a place
Where all your wounds have been erased
And knowing yours are healed is healing mine
They won’t belong to me and you
There’ll be no such thing as broken
And all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now
Even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in Heaven
Are on the hands that hold you now
You picked up your share of scars along the way
Oh, but now you’re standing in the sun
You’ve fought your fight and your race is run
The pain is all a million miles away
They won’t belong to me and you
There’ll be no such thing as broken
And all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now
Even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in Heaven, yeah
Are on the hands that hold you now
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
For the hands that hold you now
You live on in all the better parts of me
Until I’m standing with you in the sun
I’ll fight this fight and this race I’ll run
Until I finally see what you can see, oh, oh
They won’t belong to me and you
There’ll be no such thing as broken
And all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now
Even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in Heaven
Are on the hands that hold you now
Songwriters: Matthew West, Mark Hall. For non-commercial use only.
Broken Can Still Be Useful
I read this week about how an egg isn’t useful unless it is broken. Immediately, I flipped to another article, not wishing to be reminded of the times in my life I felt broken. After a few days, I returned to the article, now ready to face what reminders would come.
There are situations in life that take us to our breaking point, and even people that tear us down and break our spirit leaving us on the floor in a heap crying out to God in our soul-crushing, heart-shattering despair. Consider yourself extremely blessed if you have never encountered anything of the sort. For the majority of people, life has left us beaten and battered, tossed around in the storms that rage at us, tearing at our worth.
Rest assured; God is close to the broken-hearted. Pslam 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
I have written on this scripture before, and I always come back to it as it is one of the most important and encouraging messages when you are going through a devastating trial in your life. When your heart has been broken, you are closer to God than you may believe. He counts every tear that falls and knows the turmoil you feel even when all you can manage to mutter is His name.
Don’t fear appearing “weak” to others around you by admitting your vulnerableness as a human and showing your emotions. Instead, feel sorry for those who do not allow emotions to show for whatever reason. Feelings aren’t right or wrong. They just are … and no one has the right to tell you that you are “wrong” for feeling a certain way or that you “shouldn’t” feel this way or that way. Your feelings are your own, whether others understand them or not. Your feelings are valid, and they matter.
Whether you’re grieving for a broken relationship, the loss of someone you love dearly, or a temporary situation that seems permanent, lasting, and unchanging, God is there in all of your brokenness. Friend, I cannot know your brokenness nor you mine, unless we are transparent. However, God sees all that has transpired leading up to this point, and He knows how it will play out even as you find it hard to breathe from moment to moment.
Consider this:
Ephesians 3:20: Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Maybe things have to fall apart and break our hearts for God to build back better in its place. We are nothing without God in our lives and in our relationships. You simply cannot get through life without God, and I, for one, would never even attempt a day without Him by my side. He is my ever-faithful companion and friend. When life explodes around me and I am at a loss for how to move forward, I put my faith and trust in Him.
God knows what the future holds, and you may not think God can use you in your brokenness right now. But He can. Broken can still be useful. Maybe this time in your life has allowed you to become more compassionate for others struggling around you. Maybe it has made you even more aware that people are hurting so deeply inside even though they flash that smile to the outside world. Maybe God wants you to be the person to open your heart to show the hurting that you truly care. All it takes is one soul reaching out to another to change the world in that instance for the grieving, brokenhearted individual. Behind the scenes, God is turning this mess into something beautiful. You just cannot imagine it at the moment but know that with God all things are possible through Him.
Boundaries
Just recently, someone dear to me endured the “wrath” of several individuals who tried to “put her in her place” because she didn’t act or react the way they wanted her to. ~insert the biggest eye roll ever here~
News Flash: We are individuals that have free will, a mind of our own, with morals, and values that are not like theirs (as in, theirs are severely lacking, to say the least). Furthermore, we can choose how to conduct ourselves without being under the control of a narcissist. Shocking, I know.
My recommendation for this precious soul was to read a book that helped me many years ago:
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
And so, this precious individual not only bought the book but dove into it ready to equip herself and set more boundaries in place without feeling incredibly guilty about doing so!
As Christians, we are taught to turn the other cheek. Here’s the thing, though. After turning the other cheek so many times, you finally get tired of the neck injury and the bruises on both of your cheeks. Certain people take advantage of us, especially when they know we are Christians. They think they can get away with more because we’re “supposed” to turn the other cheek, or we’re “supposed” to say yes to accommodate them. While I believe there are appropriate times to do both, you do have to dig your heels in and stand firm with individuals known to push you around.
Consider the following and answer honestly if you have seen yourself doing any of these things in the past:
(Photo credit to Cloud And Townsend Boundaries Quotes. QuotesGram)
If ANY of the above rings true, this book is for you! No, I am not getting paid to write this and am not benefitting one bit by advertising this book. The only thing I stand to gain from this is equipping others with the knowledge and tools found in this book by these two men! It will truly benefit YOU to read this book if you have any boundary issues in your life.
Will it be easy putting boundaries in place or drawing a line in the sand with some people? No. They will resent you for the boundaries you put into place. This won’t be the norm when dealing with you, and they will resist the boundaries. They will test the boundaries. Stand strong with your armor on and brace for the attack. Believe me, it will come. They will say things to hurt you when you tell them no or refuse to allow them to control you. Hold your head up high. What you are doing by putting boundaries in place is extremely healthy for you and your family!
Here’s to taking care of YOU!!!
Bravo, friend. Bravo!
