Five Minute Friday: Lost (and alone)
I have a very personal relationship with this feeling. I find myself feeling lost quite often. I look around seeing many people with someone in their life and I can only wonder what that feels like. You see I have spent the better part of my life alone. It is easy to feel lost when you are alone. You wonder of your purpose in life. You wonder if you are making a difference. At times you wonder if anyone even notices you.
I have come to find peace and my place in life by being grateful for the things God has given me. There are many things that give me joy and I turn to those during times when I feel lost and alone. These are gifts that God has given me to help me through these times.
You are never lost and alone because God is always with you if you let him into your heart.
Lost
There was once a time I felt safe and secure in your love. When I used to get lost in your eyes, I’m getting lost now in wondering who you are. For years we’ve lived this wonderful life on the outside appearing to be the most perfect couple, and everyone commented about how much you love me and how perfect our little family was. Now I’m left wondering if after the dust has settled if we’ll even be a family at all.
I try to be a good person and do the right thing. I’ve prayed and asked for guidance from God, and for months now I’ve heard: “Be still …” and so I have. As I stand in the mist of the storm raging around me, I’m getting knocked around and knocked down. Yet each time, I get back up and try again. Each blow that comes leaves me breathless and weak, yet through my tears, I whisper my love for you and what has been lost and know that it can be found again in each other if that is what we truly want.
I feel surrounded by lies, deceit and betrayal, and I don’t know how to get out of this pit. I run to the far side and scream wondering if anyone hears me, can anyone come rescue me now? No one answers, and so I run to the opposite end and cry, reaching up with all of my might for someone to hold on to in order to pull me out of this pit of depression that I’ve been living in.
And then as I fall to my knees, crumbling to the ground, as I lay there sobbing, my Jesus wipes away my tears and picks me up into His strong arms to carry me out of the darkness and into the light. His light. I don’t have to feel lost any more. He has found me. He has rescued me. When lies fall all around me, He is truth. When I feel unloved, He wraps me in His unconditional love.
For once I was lost, but now I’m found.
Sometimes I think God has a great sense of humor
This may be kind of an odd topic for a post but I have been thinking about this lately. I was going to share a recent story but as I was writing another came to mind which I would like to share. And yes, I laughed about it; a lot. The story…
It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that my mother decided to let a little tidbit about me and my sister out (many years after my parents’ divorce). My dad is very cheap. He could be the photo for the definition of “frugal” in the dictionary. But he also has dreams of having special things just like anyone else. He had always wanted a boat, but I came along instead. So no boat. Several years later, he wanted a color TV. Instead, my sister came along. So no color TV. So you can say I was supposed to be a boat and my sister was supposed to be a color TV.
A few years into his retirement, dad got his boat. It was a very nice pontoon boat. He invited a number of his friends for the christening of the boat; my sister was there too. I didn’t get invited. In fact I didn’t know he had a boat until several months later. The plan for the day was to go out to the middle of the lake and have a nice relaxing cookout on the boat. My sister was kind of enough to tell me what happened.
Everyone boarded the boat and dad did well at getting the boat headed out to the middle of the lake. He picked a nice spot where he intended to anchor the boat. He went and grabbed the anchor and tossed it into the water. Just as he let go of the anchor he realized that the anchor was not attached to a rope to hold the boat in place. I was told the look on his face was priceless.
I still get a chuckle out of this as I was supposed be his first boat.
~”the Boat”
