Light, Love, Hope

How do you handle when someone’s opinion differs from that of your own? Do you blow up and get angry, feeling as if they are refusing to see your side of things? Do you laugh it off and say, “To each their own?” Do you politely agree to disagree while maintaining the friendship?

We are all different people from different walks of life. There will be differences of opinions. I would actually be afraid if someone seemed to agree with everything that I said or did. I would wonder if they were genuine and true. It’s possible, I suppose, that people of like minds would agree on all things, but I feel it is highly unlikely.

I don’t claim to be an expert on relationships, religion, etc., but I do speak my truth. I write from the heart, and I welcome any and all feedback. I prefer it to be positive in nature, but it is okay if it is not as long as the person expressing their opinion is doing so in a respectful manner. I feel that I have seen that on this site, and I applaud you all for this. I appreciate that no one has really torn into me. It means a lot to me that people have been respectful, and we have been able to discuss our different points of view while still fostering community and friendship.

Thank you for respectfully agreeing to disagree.

I love you all!

And please … keep commenting as I LOVE each and every comment that comes in. I actually get so excited when I see comments waiting. I can’t get to them fast enough!

Thank you for taking the time to visit with us. You are always welcome here!

Much love,
Shirley

Light, Love, Hope

Dear Moms,

I know at times you grow weary with all of the diaper changes, feedings, and sleepless nights. I truly do understand. I was there, too! But, I have good news! This, too, shall pass!

Moms, your work is not going unnoticed at this point in time, although it may feel like it. You are working toward a greater goal. You will get there, and one day soon you will see a light at the end of the tunnel! It only gets better and better! I promise!

I absolutely love being a mother to two beautiful girls! My oldest daughter is 17 years old, while my youngest daughter is nine years old.

I’ve been through all of the late night feedings, blow out diaper changes, colic, and RSV (with my youngest being hospitalized with this at just two months old – very scary, I’ll have you know!).

I’ve been through teething, potty training, the biting stage my oldest daughter went through when she was in daycare (yikes!), to same day surgery with my oldest daughter when she had an accident on a slide at the playground.

The child who went down before her hadn’t yet stood up, but decided to do so right as my daughter approached the end of the slide! The top of the child’s head caught my daughter’s chin as she was sliding down to the end while the other child stood up! Believe me, ladies, this is NOT a phone call you want to receive!

“There was an accident, and she’s bleeding …”

Read more of An Open Letter To Weary Moms Everywhere on the City Moms Blog: http://citymomsblog.com/columbiasc/an-open-letter-to-weary-moms-everywhere/

I have felt this topic pulling at my heart over the last week.  It is a message that we all need to hear, and yet it is a sensitive subject, too.

Today I would like to talk about forgiveness!

Now, please hear me out.  Don’t cross your arms and stick your nose in the air refusing to allow anything else that I say speak to your heart.

I know there have been people in this life that have wronged you.  They have hurt you deeply.  Some have mistreated you and disrespected you.  I do understand as I have been on the receiving end of this treatment as well.  It hurts, and we vow that we will stand up for ourselves.  We say that we will never allow this sort of thing to happen again, and we proceed with building huge concrete walls around our hearts so that no one can get to us again.   Because of the damage they’ve done to your heart, you’ve hardened it now and refuse to let anyone in.

Consider this:

All bitterness, anger, and wrath, insult and slander must be removed from you, along with all wickedness.  And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.  Ephesians 4:31-32 HCSB

That is a tall order, but it is something that we are required to do.   I did not say it would be easy, but it is possible.

Oh I know … believe me, I hear you loud and clear.  Someone has wronged you, hurt you or your family members even.  They have done the unspeakable, perhaps.   You sit there asking yourself and staring at the screen right now asking, “How can I possibly forgive them for THIS?”!   Or you’re saying, “Shirley, you just don’t KNOW what they’ve done to me!”  No, I don’t know all of the details, but I do know this.  God will help you forgive if you ask Him to.

No where in here am I saying that the offense done to you is okay.  No where am I saying that what they did was right by any means.  I’m not excusing or condoning their behavior or mistreatment in any way, shape, or form.

When I speak of forgiveness, it’s from my own experience.  Having an unforgiving heart and an unforgiving spirit does nothing to the person that you’re holding the grudge against.  They are going on with their lives not giving your hurt feelings or wounded heart a second thought.  You, on the other hand, are torn up inside by all of this.  You have trouble sleeping because those thoughts are there when you lay down at night.  They are with  you throughout the day whether you’re at work or at play.  It torments you, and it sours your heart and outlook on life.  You fixate on the injustice.  You play it over and over again in your mind.

What good is any of this doing?   Dear one, you are only hurting yourself!

I am not asking you to forget what has happened.  I am not even suggesting that you become the best of friends with this person.  All I am saying is that having an unforgiving heart will imprison YOU!

Forgiveness is never an easy task.  It is probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do if your heart has been injured!

By not forgiving, by not letting wrongs go, we aren’t getting back at anyone.  We are merely punishing ourselves by barricading our own hearts. ~Jim Cymbala

How can you forgive when the offense is so great?  With the help of God above!

That is the only way that you will ever overcome these feelings of bitterness, resentment, and hatred.   Ask God to remove all of this, including the animosity you are feeling toward this person.  If you allow Him to, God will help you overcome and ultimately forgive so that this does not continue to consume you.

There are friendships right now on the rocks.  Something happened, someone did this or that, someone misunderstood, someone felt pushed to “talk it out” when the other had nothing further to say, etc.  There are also families torn apart by refusing to forgive their brother or sister, even mothers and daughters refusing to offer forgiveness, as well as fathers and sons.  There are relationships being ripped to shreds all because people will not forgive one another.

Who suffers more?  The person that harbors unforgiveness in their heart?  Or the person that has gone on with their lives and has let go of ill feelings?    It’s painfully obvious here who is imprisoned.   You don’t have to live like this any more.  Ask God to help you.   I promise you that He will.

Hear me loud and clear on this one.  You do not have to continue to associate with people that have wronged you.  It is okay to have boundaries in your life.  I am not suggesting that you forgive and forget, carrying on with this person in the same fashion, allowing them the opportunity to do this again to you.  No, I am suggesting that YOU are the one that barricaded your own heart due to their offense.  You are suffering greatly and would benefit from letting God work a miracle in your heart by releasing the bitterness, resentment, and hatred that you have been carrying around for way too long.  Release it and you release yourself as the prisoner that you’ve held hostage for so long.

Tear down those walls that you’ve built up.  Remove the barricades around your heart.  By forgiving, you release yourself!

Will you prayerfully consider making a list of people that you are harboring ill feelings toward?  Will you ask God to help you in this area?   If you need someone to pray with you, I will be glad to pray with you.   Just please don’t carry this around with you another day.