Intense Grief and Sorrow
By now everyone has heard of Naomi Judd’s passing. At 76 years old, after years of struggling with mental illness, she passed away. Her family indicated no further details would be revealed, but in a case such as this, rumors will fly no matter how much the family begs the public for privacy while their hearts have been shattered.
My family knows all too well how this feels having lost my sister to suicide in 2001.
I feel as if I “grew up” listening to The Judds, but upon seeing the years on some of their greatest hits, I realize I was listening to their music in high school instead. The Judds’ hits include: “Mama He’s Crazy” in 1984, “Why Not Me” in 1984, “Girls Night Out” in 1985, “Rockin’ With the Rhythm of the Rain” in 1986, “Grandpa (Tell Me ‘Bout The Good Ole Days)” in 1986, “Turn It Loose” in 1988, and “Love Can Build a Bridge” in 1990.
Naomi brought awareness to mental illness, depression, and suicidal ideation through the years as she opened up in a book she wrote on the subject in 2016. She also was frank on the Today Show in 2017 that she became severely depressed after a tour with Wynonna ended. She was honest about not taking care of herself, staying in her pajamas, and not leaving the couch for two years after the tour ended.
It’s hard to think of a “star” in such a light. They seem to “have it all.” Truth be told, they are struggling, too, just like you and I do at times. No one has the perfect life without troubles. No one! Not even a “star.” We have found this to be true when the world was shocked by Robin Williams’ suicide years ago. The man that made everyone laugh was hurting so deeply inside. Who truly knows what someone is thinking, feeling, or going through? We don’t! This is proof yet again with Naomi taking her own life!
There are so many people that speculate on “why” and then those that want to know “how” she did it. Why? How will you benefit from knowing either one? It’s normal curiosity, I’m sure, because we are human. We want to “know” all there is to know. But it won’t bring them back. I had people ask the same when my sister died. “WHY would she do this, Shirley?” “How did she die …” “Do you know how she killed herself?” “What would lead her to do such a thing?” “Wow, she must have really wanted to die.”
HOW does any of that help those that are grieving such an intense loss?
Consider yourself blessed that you DON’T understand a horrific loss such as this and the profound grief that follows! I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy!
When a life is snuffed out, it is hard to put one foot in front of the other. It’s hard to breathe, honestly. Every part of us feels shattered, and we are crippled emotionally. We don’t know how we will go on another day without our precious loved ones by our side.
Of COURSE we have questions. There are a billion questions swirling around in our heads, yet the only two that hold these answers are in Heaven: our loved ones and God!
Why did He allow this to happen? That is another question we ask ourselves. When God could have reached down His great and mighty hand and stopped them, why didn’t HE???? Because He gave us all free will.
I believe God wept right along with us as He saw this unfolding. And I believe He reached out His arms, wrapped them around our loved ones, and welcomed them home. I do NOT believe that a person dying by suicide sentences them to further torture in the pits of hell. They were suffering so much, so tremendously in this life, I believe God will have mercy on their soul. Just as Jesus said on the cross, “Forgive them Father. They know not what they do …” I believe the same can be said here as well. Oh Father, Forgive them!!! Please, forgive them for taking their own lives. I truly, with all my heart and soul, believe they did not know what they were doing. If they were truly in their “right mind” they would never have done this. Their pain was gripping them, and they felt no way out from its clutch than to take their own lives to “escape” whatever turmoil they were enduring.
I will never bring myself to believe they would intentionally inflict pain upon those that love them, though. They often times believe their families would be “better off” without them, but this could not be further from the truth. The day we lost our loved ones, our hearts shattered. We were instantly filled with such intense grief and sorrow. IF our love alone could have saved them, they never would have died!
At a time like this, instead of seeking answers from the family, please pray for them! Trust me, they need it and will need to draw strength from you in the days, weeks, months, and even years to come!
New England Road Trip – Part IV
Today’s edition of the New England Road Trip – Part IV takes us to Cape Cod, which ended up being my favorite part of the trip! We rode all the way to the tip of the island, seeing several lighthouses along the way, of course!
Cape Cod’s first lighthouse was none other than Highland Light.
The Highland Light Station is also known as Cape Cod Light, and is within Cape Cod National Seashore in North Truro. This lighthouse was commissioned by George Washington, established in 1797, and is the 20th light station in the United States.
In the 1850s, Henry David Thoreau, known author and naturalist, visited this beautiful lighthouse. He is quoted describing it as,”A neat building, in apple pie order.” Then in 1864, Thoreau went on to write an essay for Atlantic Monthly. In this essay, he told the history of the Highland Light. I love how he described the power of the light:
“The keeper entertained us handsomely in his solitary little ocean house. He was a man of singular patience and intelligence, who, when our queries struck him, rang as clear as a bell in response. The light-house lamp a few feet distant shone full into my chamber, and made it bright as day, so I knew exactly how the Highland Light bore all that night, and I was in no danger of being wrecked… I thought as I lay there, half-awake and half-asleep, looking upward through the window at the lights above my head, how many sleepless eyes from far out on the ocean stream — mariners of all nations spinning their yarns through the various watches of the night — were directed toward my couch.”
Next up was the lighthouse you might recall from the Cape Cod potato chip bag in the grocery stores. If I am going to eat chips, this is my “go to” brand, especially the salt and vinegar! I could eat them until my mouth is raw! Ha!
My youngest daughter was surprised to learn that this lighthouse really existed. Some times you see pictures of things someone has envisioned and created into a colorful masterpiece, a work of art, but isn’t actually a “real” site you can visit. Not so here!
The Nauset Lighthouse is the most well known and most photographed lighthouse on Cape Cod. It is listed on the National Register of Historic Places. Nauset Lighthouse was painted red and white in the 1940s as a daytime indicator. Then, in 1981, the Fresnel lens was replaced by two rotating aero beacons, changing the signal from three white flashes to one red and one white flash, with five second intervals between them. Due to erosion, the lighthouse was moved and now sits across the road from its original location. Someone lives in the lighthouse keeper’s house today, so we were respectful and only stayed a few moments to enjoy the lighthouse. (The grounds are open for foot traffic, picture taking, etc.)
There’s so much more I could share with you, but alas, I will refrain as this travel segment has already gone into four parts. Instead of sharing more of our journey, I will, instead, encourage you to take your own road trip! You will marvel at the beautiful landscape New England has to offer! Take time off work to explore, make memories, and live!!
New England Road Trip – Part III
As we continue the New England Road Trip – Part III, we explore Nubble Light on a brisk day in Maine. The wind was fierce while we were exploring the different areas, and it was no different as we climbed out of our rental car and stepped out on the rocks to get a closer look at this beauty.
It would have been awesome to explore this area by boat, but alas, due to the cold Winters in New England, boat cruises do not start up until the end of April. We were a few weeks too early!
The lighthouse keeper’s house and the lighthouse itself look smaller due to the distance we were away from it on the rocks. I secretly wished there was a zip line that would take us from the rocks I was kneeling on straight to the lighthouse grounds.
Just this week, as my co-worker looked at the lighthouse decor on and around my desk, he asked why I like lighthouses so much. My reply was that I like to think of what it must have been like back in the days when the ships were lost at sea, being tossed around by the waves, fearful of the storms in the dark. I can only imagine the relief that washed over them as they spotted the beacon in the night shining brightly for them, ushering them to safety. My mind often thinks of how Jesus is our lighthouse also. There is safety and security found within The Light that shines so bright for all the world to see, if we would only come ashore as He beckons us.
