Light, Love, Hope

As the holidays approach, are you finding joy or sadness in this time of the year?   I ask because I was reminded recently that while I have a spirit of Thanksgiving and a joyful heart filled with excitement and Christmas cheer, the holidays are often hard for others.  They, unfortunately, are a sad reminder of family that has gone their separate ways or of loved ones that have passed on and are no longer here to join in on the celebration and festivities that were once a welcomed time in their lives.  When once they looked forward to the holidays, they now dread it and wish it to hurry past so we can move on into the new year.

I do understand heartache and pain.  I understand the loss of cherished loved ones and the pain that is left behind.  I understand full well about the emptiness that can be felt at this time of year and of the traditions of past that are now no more.  I can sympathize with you.  I have several of my beloved family members that are in Heaven celebrating with Jesus this holiday season.  I lost my grandmother in March of this year, and prior to that, I lost my sister and Granddaddy.  While it has been several years since their passing, it does not mean that the pain of our separation is non existent.  No, I still feel the sting of not having them here with me at this time … a time of Thanksgiving that was once filled with their laughter around the table, their stories of days gone by, their memories … they are all a part of MY treasured memories now.

Oh what I wouldn’t give to see them one more time, to have everyone gathered around the table with heads bowed, holding hands as we blessed the food and asked for God’s ultimate hand of protection to be over all of our family during the holiday season and for all time.  Oh to see their faces light up again as they are given a Christmas present while gathered around the tree, to see their excitement as they open the gift and to see the expression of gratitude and thankfulness on their faces as they appreciated each and every gift given to them, no matter how big or how small.

You see, my holidays are filled with longing, too, but I am choosing NOT to wallow in “what could have been” … “what should be” … “oh why aren’t they here” … “lost traditions” … I could go on and on, but … I choose to reminisce about times we DID have together, all of the memories we made when they were here on this earth … all of the precious times we greeted each other at the door upon their arrival with hugs, beautiful hugs!   It would feel wonderful to be able to hug my loved ones just one more time, to spend just one more day with them, one more hour, one more minute … just one more any thing with them.   But, just as the song by Diamond Rio says, “It would leave me wishing still for one more day with you …”

While I don’t have my sister, Grandma or Granddaddy here with me physically any longer, they are FOREVER in my heart.  I carry them with me each and every day.  There are reminders of them every where I turn, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I save messages on my answering machine because I’m so afraid of losing yet another loved one and never hearing their voices again!   I have messages saved from my grandmother, and oh how I treasure and cherish hearing her voice any time I want to now with just a press of a button on my machine.  I have her with me in my heart, in my soul, in every fiber of my being, just as I have my sister and Granddaddy … I do not, however, have their voices to play back as I wish I had.  Occasionally I will find an old video of my daughter as a baby and be granted the gift of seeing and hearing my sister once again as she holds and cradles my daughter, looking down into her precious little face so lovingly.  Those are memories ingrained into my being, and yet tears fill my eyes when I find these precious moments on the video – to remember what it felt like having her there, hearing her laughter, I get the gift of hearing it once more on those videos.  I get the gift of seeing my granddaddy in old pictures laughing, smiling, and being healthy!

So you see, my heart aches just like yours does!   I hurt, too!  Hear me – I HURT, TOO!

~BUT~

This holiday season I still have other family members that will surround me on this day, and I live for those people.  I get the honor and privilege of sharing the holidays with my two beautiful girls, my parents, and my husband!  I smile.  I join in on the laughter around the table.  I hold their hands tightly in my own as we say the blessing.  I choose to be happy, all while holding those loved ones that have gone on to Heaven close to my heart!  I know that our loved ones are looking down upon us in Heaven with love, such love, for us all.

Having a good time with the family that IS with you physically is not dishonoring to our loved ones that have passed on or their memories … they wouldn’t want us sitting around sad and gloomy on Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any time for that matter.  They want us to be happy and enjoy, to celebrate, to live life to the fullest.

Can you sit around and mope all throughout the holidays and wish them away?  Sure you can!  You have that right.  However, it will be miserable doing that – for yourself and any one else that is around you during this time of year.   Happiness comes from within.  It is a choice.  If you are choosing to be sad this time of year, that is your choice.  I am choosing to find happiness and joy in the season with the family that is still here with me.  I am choosing to make memories with them that they will look back on fondly and with love.   I still feel the feelings that rush in from time to time, and I will be true to myself and allow those feelings to come.  I will NOT, however, crawl into a hole or into a fetal position and cry throughout the entire holiday season.  I will NOT wish it away.  I will, instead, embrace it!  It’s here!!!   Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day!!  In less than a month, it will be Christmas!!   Then ushering in a new year!   It IS a time for celebration.

I encourage you to do something to honor and pay tribute to your loved ones this holiday season.  Whatever you do – whether it be taking fresh flowers to their grave, baking cookies which was a tradition of this precious loved one, lighting a candle and saying a prayer, playing their favorite song, having their favorite meal, or releasing balloons or butterflies – DO something to honor and celebrate them.  They are there with you.  I promise you … more than you even realize.  They are there … and they love you!

Here’s to hoping that you can find holiday joy!

My friend and I started out with our “I am thankful for …” posts on Facebook together on November 1st.  Being that Facebook will not allow us to befriend each other, we have been sharing in emails as we have for many, many years now (approximately 16 years!!).   She asked if I had continued my list on Facebook, and in fact, I have!  Below is my list … some are very serious posts … and some not so much!  🙂   Today, November 25th, is on top, with them going down by date order to the very first one posted on November 1st!

This is a bit early, but Happy Thanksgiving!  Blessings to you and your family!  May we keep that attitude of gratitude all year long for God doesn’t just bless us during the month of Thanksgiving – He blesses us each and every day with His goodness, mercy, and love!

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for the gift of another day. God has richly blessed me and my family, and although today is Monday, a day that a lot of people often grumble about, I will be the exception to this for I am grateful to be alive!

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful that although our tradition is to decorate the day after Thanksgiving for Christmas, my husband felt inspired today and brought the inside decorations down from the attic. I’m typing this in my beautifully decorated living room by the white lights from the Christmas tree while watching classic Christmas movies with my babies in warm fleece jammies … this is the life!

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful that God truly has provided all that I have ever needed …

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for books of all kind, from encouraging and inspirational, to self help types and how-to, to devotionals, true stories … I love a good book! My Nook Color rocks! I love real books for bubble baths, but otherwise I’m hanging with my Nook Color in hand.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for good music! It just makes you feel good – no matter what! It is a mood enhancer! If you’re having a bad day, put on some much needed music – it lifts you up! If you’re already happy, music makes it all the more enjoyable just to “rock out” and have a “dance party” even in your car! My girls never know when it’ll hit me, but when they see that look in my eye, they just smile and join right on in! I love it! Unless we’re in public, and then they act like they’re totally embarrassed … so I do it even MORE! muuu haaa haaaa haaaaaa

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am so thankful for the true friends that my daughter has, that look out for her and have her best interest in their hearts and minds, that stick by her side no matter what. True friends are hard to find so that is what makes this gift all the more special.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for Dove Dark Chocolate. I could eat my weight in that stuff. Is that a bad thing? Ohhhh!! My Dove message for today … Do what feels right. Hmmm ok … eat more chocolate! Lol

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for seeing all of the wonders of the seasons through the eyes of my children. They are just in awe at this time of year, with my youngest, especially, enjoying all of the beautiful decorations this weekend at Tammy Hill’s house – from the ribbons and bows, to the villages, she loved them all and has talked about it since we left. I’m thankful for a wonderful evening around the fire with friends and an awesome pound cake, too!

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for still quiet moments, soaking in a beautiful sunrise, appreciating all of God’s creations.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for comedians, comedy, anything that makes me laugh! We enjoyed the laughs last night!

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful that my girls do not have school on Fridays! It’s a three day weekend EVERY weekend for us!

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for cameras that capture those sweet and special moments with and of your family so those moments live on even after they have passed to be treasured and cherished for all time.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for the time I got to spend with my grandma. She suffered for two years before she passed away in March of this year. We became closer during this time, and I miss her. I would have given anything to have been able to take away her pain and suffering. It was hard seeing her like this, and I still cry thinking about such a strong woman who was so weak and frail at the end. She had such strong faith and love for her Lord and Savior, and I have no doubt that she’s dancing with Jesus, tending to all of the beautiful flowers in Heaven’s gardens as she loved to do here on earth. I love you, Grandma.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for my good health and that of my family. I pray that God will keep His hands upon my family and that He will protect and shelter them from all harm.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for all of our Veterans! I am proud to be an American and am thankful for the freedom that we have. We salute you and honor you.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for good friends, skeet shooting, and four wheeling!

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for classic cars, trucks, and airplanes! Enjoyed the fly-in and cruise-in today with the club members! Great way to spend the day!

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for all four of my fur babies. They have their own personality and ways about them, they make me laugh so hard at times, and they provide so much comfort, peace, and unconditional love! They are *always* happy to see me no matter if I am gone 5 hours or 5 minutes. They are so excited to see me and can’t wait for me to pet them and play with them, then just curl up in my lap and go to sleep! They are more than just dogs. They are family!!!

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆. I am thankful for good friends – old and new – who live near and far – face to face and internet friends as well. I am especially thankful for a dear lady that has shared her heart with me recently and has allowed me to share mine as well. It has been wonderful having these talks. Thank you, my sweet, special friend! She knows who she is.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆ I am thankful for parents that gave me the best that they possibly could growing up. We didn’t have a lot of money or the best of every material thing, but we had strong faith in God, which is what truly matters most. They took us to church every time the doors were open. I am thankful for the beliefs and faith as we were clinging to God to see us through all of the hard times that we have had to face. He has truly carried us through the storms of life.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆ I am thankful for the time I had with my sister growing up, and while we may not have been extremely close in our childhood, we became best friends as adults. I treasure and cherish the moments I shared with her and am thankful for the pictures to reflect back on where she was smiling, happy, and cutting up with me – I hold those memories very near and dear to my heart.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆ I am thankful for my husband and all of the ways he loves, supports, and encourages me.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆ I am thankful for days like today spent with my family snuggling, watching movies, cooking together, and just enjoying each other’s company! I am truly blessed in this life! Thank you God.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆ I am thankful that we were able to help restore a classic car that has so many memories of my sister attached to it, and after 30 years of sitting, my dad is enjoying driving the 57 Chevy Bel-air! Although he never thought it possible, he’s not only driving it but is able to “show” it and won 1st place in his class AND Best of Show today at the Norway Cotton Festival.

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(¸☆´ (¸.☼´´¯`•.¸¸.❉☆ I am truly thankful to God for my beautiful daughters. I love them with all of my heart and soul!