Adapt
Tomorrow will be two weeks since my loved one’s surgery.
The spot on his right kidney was considered an “incidental finding” as the doctors sent him for a scan due to stomach discomfort. The urologist referral was made, and the doctor explained this is how 95% of kidney cancers are found. Now that they knew about it, they could not ignore it. A biopsy was performed which revealed results none of us wanted. Tearfully, we tired to make peace with the news, trusting in God the entire way. We knew the mass would ultimately need to come out. Thankfully, it was a slower growing cancer, but it was cancer … and no one likes to hear that “C” word. Ever!
What started out as a mission to get the spot on the upper right portion of the kidney ended in the removal of the whole right kidney. Once inside, the doctor determined this was the safest way to proceed, even if it was not the desired outcome. It was too close to a major artery. Therefore, the doctor proceeded with removing the entire kidney instead of chancing anything detrimental and catastrophic happening.
It was hard to hide the disappointment in his face when we told him after he woke up in recovery. That was his very first question, and we could not keep it from him. He was still with us, and that was the most important thing to us all. He still has a good functioning kidney, and we will pray that it remains healthy.
In these two weeks, he has had to adapt to a new way of life … for now.
He is used to going and doing, but right now, he has to take it easy. It is at the end of Winter here, so the timing was right so he wouldn’t be tempted to get outside and do yard work. But, being inside day in and day out is wearing on him. Walking to the mailbox helps, but it doesn’t take the place of having your hands in the dirt or hooking up to your tractor to plant seeds in the field.
The doctor asked him to allow two weeks before driving again. You don’t really realize all of the muscles you use to drive, look over your shoulder, steer, turn, etc. Reluctantly, he agreed to wait and not push himself. A massive sneeze snuck up on him over the weekend, and he felt incredible pain as a result. Usually, he will keep a pillow nearby to hold next to his stomach if he sneezes or coughs to soften the force. It happened so fast, though, that he was not able to get the pillow in time.
Ouch!
One would think the incisions would be on his back, but the mass was located in an awkward position facing his navel instead of his spine. Therefore, it was necessary to go in through his stomach. The doctor was one of the first trained in robotic assisted surgeries, so the incisions aren’t as big as what one would have with traditional surgery in years gone by. Technology has advanced, and we are thankful for the improvements made. Even still, there are five incisions. The lower one, being longer than the others, is the main one giving him soreness.
Two weeks may seem to fly by for us, but they drag on for someone recovering from surgery staring at the same four walls day in and day out.
Please pray for comfort and complete healing, for his left kidney to be perfectly healthy and functioning as it should without any issues. And please pray for his mental wellbeing as well as he allows himself time to rest and fully heal from this major surgery.
Thank you for those who have taken the time to follow along and for the prayers lifted up. God hears, and we will continue to trust in Him. We thank Him for His hand of protection over our precious loved one. As much as we love him, we know God loves him even more!
Survive
We’ve all heard the saying, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Right along with that is an often quoted bible verse, 1 Corinthians 10:13, where Paul is saying God will not tempt us beyond that which we can bear. It has also been turned into comforting words of God not giving us more than we can handle. Some respond with, “I wish God didn’t trust me so much then,” when they are going through an extremely heavy and burdensome situation.
We are not promised a life without problems, struggles or trials. When we are going through these troublesome times, though, we should ask God to help us. There have been times in my life when I know God is the only way I made it out of those low valleys. He provided strength to survive those awful times in my life.
Going through a horrendous ordeal will leave you with battle scars. Some actually have post traumatic stress disorder as a result of what they have been forced to face in this life. It is very real, and there are “triggers” which will throw them right back into something that happened in the past, as if they are there in that moment. I’ll never forget an older man struggling with scenes from Vietnam once he was triggered by an event happening in his life. Something seemed to sneak up behind him, tap him on the shoulder, and place traumatic events in his face. He could recall and describe in details the buttons on his fellow soldier’s uniform upon finding him fatally wounded. I couldn’t understand completely what he was going through since I was not there myself, but my heart went out to him seeing the pain reflected on his face.
I believe when we go through something traumatic in our lives, God will equip us to help another that crosses our path. Maybe it then becomes our job to be like a beacon in the night shining the light for them so they find their way through the stormy seas of life. Perhaps this explains my obsession with lighthouses knowing the ships were tossed around as swells threatened to capsize them. They struggle to get out of the storm and safely to shore but cannot find their way. They look out into the night sky amidst the lightening and torrential rain, and suddenly they see a light shining in the distance. This light will provide their way to safety and to sandy shores!
Now, God is certainly the light leading the way for believers. But I’ve been in situations before where people are really struggling and feel as if God may have turned His back on them. That is never the case, as if anyone moves it is US … not God. In their pain and anguish, they cannot feel His presence and don’t call out to Him. It is then that we step up and help, hoping to lead them back to God along the way.
I’ve also been in situations with non-believers, and my heart breaks at the thought of them not believing in God and not securing their future with Him. But it isn’t my job to judge, and I won’t try to force my beliefs down their throats either. What I will do is provide a listening ear, a helping hand they can reach out to when they feel their boat has capsized and they may drown. I can’t save them, only God can do that. But I can help them get back to safety and try with all my might to ensure they survive.
Having been bullied, dealing with a loved one’s mental illness, having been cheated on by a spouse, going through a divorce from hell with a narcissist, losing my sister to suicide, coping with the guilt of not being able to save her, enduring the special grief after losing someone to suicide, having survivor’s guilt, suffering a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and facing fertility issues afterwards, having a spouse struggle with pornography addiction … these are just a few things I have struggled with in life. These things could have taken me right out had I not leaned on God through it all. He provided strength to go through these devastating events in my life and still be able to stand tall and victorious today. These painful situations have equipped me to help others I encounter in life who may be struggling with these very same things, wondering how they will survive.
And I’ll be here … shining my light … offering my hand …
Bear
“Let’s go … shopping!”
With Valentine’s Day upon us (and having passed by the time this scheduled post is on the site), my daughters and I set out to find cute gifts for our friends and family. We didn’t realize everyone had the same idea today, too!
Walking into the store, we noticed the long lines but still decided to join in on the fun. It seemed like no matter which section of the store we were shopping in, everyone soon made their way there, too! We would shift to another section, and the crowd shifted with us once more.
What were we thinking venturing out in this?!
In one section of the store, two ladies invaded my personal space by getting way too close to me, as if they were trying to climb into my back pocket. Then, one lady moved to my right and reached over my head for an item on the shelf directly above me without even so much as an “Excuse me.” It was as if I was invisible. When the opportunity presented itself, we moved further down and finally on to another aisle to get away from them. We decided to go to an “off season” section of the store thinking surely it wouldn’t be crowded there. Everything was going great until another woman started coming straight for me. I moved to my left to clear the aisle since she was walking toward me on my right side. As she passed me, she started mumbling something about, “People … ” Shortly thereafter, my daughters joined me on the aisle and told me the same woman brushed shoulders with my youngest daughter as she passed. That is WAY too close for comfort, so we decided to leave the store.
Where are people’s manners these days? While this scenario can certainly play out in another town, it seems commonplace here. We were reminded once again why we drive an hour away to shop. The stores are better stocked, neat and orderly, and the people offer more respect and common consideration than here in our small town.
It was almost more than my frazzled nerves could bear! It’s too people-y out there.
And so we made our way back to the vehicle, ordered dessert, and headed home. Although the shopping experience left a lot to be desired, I still had a fun day with my girls.
