Light, Love, Hope

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who dreamed of seeing everything under the sea.  Flipping through magazines, eyes wide with excitement, she vowed “one day” she would!  The only thing was that it required you to be able to swim.  At her young age, she had little opportunity for attempting to learn how to swim as her parents never took her to the beach or even a friend’s house that had a pool or pond in their backyard.  Lessons were out of the question as her parents simply could not afford it.  So, she sighed, looked longingly at the pages one last time, and tucked the magazine away.

Fast forward about 20 years, and this little girl, now wearing the face of an adult, sought to make her dreams a reality.  Having just lost her sister in the most tragic way possible (suicide), she vowed to fully live her life, not just for herself, but for her sister.  She longed to see and experience things her sister never had the opportunity to, and swimming lessons were where she began.

When she felt ready, she embarked on the most rewarding, yet frightening, adventure of her life.   While honeymooning on the Grand Cayman Islands, she enrolled in a resort course to learn how to scuba dive!  Filled with excitement, her big adventures began!  Once she mastered the skills required while being observed by the instructor in the hotel’s pool, they went out on a boat into the “big water.”   Much to her surprise, she did not get seasick on the ride out there.

Once they found the best spot to view the coral reef, everyone on board suited up.  They strapped the tanks on their backs and walked like penguins on the boat due to their fins to get to the side of the boat.  Once there, they had to choose whether to back down the steps into the water OR jump in holding their masks in place with their fingers so the force of the water hitting their faces wouldn’t rip the mask off.  Feeling full of thrill and wonder, she jumped into the water

~SPLASH~

In they all went, one by one, until they were all floating in the ocean.  The instructor guided them all toward a chained anchor and told them to hold on to it as they made their descent approximately 40 feet below the boat.  They paused briefly to give their ears a chance to adjust.  If anyone had trouble getting their ears to “clear,” they were instructed to return to the boat.  Sadly, one participant had to do so, and this participant was extremely disappointed, as you can imagine.  However, to have continued down with the participant’s ears not adjusting could have caused damage to the ear drums.  The wisest thing to do was return to the boat and wait for the others.  Our lady in this story, however, was one of the lucky ones that didn’t have any problems getting her ears to adjust, thankfully.

Once down, she and the fellow adventurers marveled at the beauty that surrounded them.  While the reef was not as colorful as she once envisioned, there was a whole new world with different varieties of plant life, fish, and sea turtles.  Watching the sea turtle come toward her felt as if it was a dream, yet there she was in the middle of the ocean able to swim right along with it.  And so she did!!   The turtle was gracefully gliding through the water, and she got lost in the moment.  Suddenly, she became aware of how far she had swam away from the others, and trying not to panic, she swam back to them as quickly as possible.

The thrill of this underwater adventure came to a close when a barracuda appeared.  Having learned the signal for “trouble” previously, fear reflected in her eyes when the instructor gave the signal to her and another participant.  Frozen in the moment, their eyes filled their masks as they waited for the curious barracuda to go on.  When it didn’t, they inflated their floatation devices so they would go closer to the surface to get away.  Once securely inside the vessel once more, everyone talked about their adventure under the sea and how fulfilling it was for them.

This once little girl with a big dream became an adult that made her dream a reality.

This little girl … was me.

I shared a post last week regarding humans being strange creatures.  Apparently, a former friend thought that post was about them, when it was not.  My post was regarding my son-in-law’s friend of 20 years and what transpired between them shortly after their wedding.  Regardless, this just confirms what I said about humans being strange creatures.

This former friend was going through a health crisis, and I came along side to encourage her.  Later, I met her in person and made some of her wishes come true in some activities we went on which she never had an opportunity to explore before previously in life.  I do not regret this visit nor the money invested at all, as wonderful memories were made when we were having a good time.  There were things on that trip which left us both feeling as if improvements could have been made on both ends.  Nevertheless, we exchanged comments about that visit, which I thought was in an effort to clear the air and let bygones be bygones.  However, that was not the case with her.  It’s sad when people have the wrong idea about you and decide in their mind something that isn’t true.  I tried to fulfill some of her wishes.  What I would not do is create a Go Fund Me Page for her.  Maybe that offended her, too, but I have a hard time asking people to donate to a cause, especially when so many far and wide are in need.  Sadly, there are a lot of people struggling with health issues.  Greg’s aunt is one having an extremely hard time and may not make it to see the holidays.  There is someone so very near and dear to my heart in my own family who will see the doctor in November to discuss surgery options for their health concern as well.  I never told her this with what she was going through.  She focused on herself, so I let her.   The truth is that people every where are hurting, and we are all going through one thing or another.  While I wouldn’t create a Go Fund Me Page for her, what I did do was pray for her, for her health, and for her family.  I know God can help.  He is the Great Physician.  He can do ALL things.

What I can do also at this point in time is offer forgiveness , and I do.  My heart holds no grudges and only wishes them well … today, tomorrow, and always.

You will know that forgiveness has begun

when you recall those who hurt you

and feel the power

to wish them well.   ~Lewis B. Smedes

We always talk about UFOs and aliens, but entertain this thought for just a minute.  What if the aliens are looking down at Earth shaking their head saying, “Humans are strange creatures!”  Because, the truth of the matter is that we ARE!!

This thought popped into my head as I also thought of how strange we are when we have any adversity that comes our way.  Friends and family will just stop speaking to each other over a disagreement.  They will avoid the person that has offended them at all cost.  At times, I have been guilty of this as well if the person’s offense was extreme and toxic.  However, if you’ve been friends with someone for 20 years or longer, why cut ties completely over a difference of opinion or a disagreement?  Isn’t the friendship worth salvaging?  If it meant something for you guys to hang on to each other for 20 years – what in the world could ever come between you all that much to cause you to just flat ignore and act like the person and friendship never existed?!  Or, did you hold on to the friendship out of convenience when you didn’t have anything better to do?  Did your parents tell you to remain friends all that length of time?  Surely that wouldn’t have influenced the friendship to that extreme.  It just puzzles me why humans do this to each other.  When you once cared so much about the other, and now you act like they are not even on Earth?

Why do we do this to each other?

I can understand if someone was abusive toward you physically and you needed to put distance.  Run far, far away from the abuser and never look back!!  But why do this to a friend that has shared so much with you through the years?

We have all heard it said many times, and we have often said it ourselves:  “Life is too short!”  The truth is that life IS short, so why waste a minute of pettiness like this?  Why stop talking to someone you love due to a misunderstanding or a difference of opinion?  Why haven’t we grown as a society to where we can be adults and talk about how we feel, get it out, and still remain friends at the end?  Now, the norm is that we express ourselves and then turn on “ignore mode.”

That is just wrong on SO many levels!!

Have I been hurt by people?  Yes.

Have I been offended by people?  Yes.

Has there been misunderstandings with others through the years?  You bet!

Have I even been the one to hurt, offend, and misunderstand others?  Yep, I sure have.  That isn’t something I am proud of, but because I am human, it has happened in my life.  If I’m honest, it will probably happen again through the years, even when that is never my intention.

As humans, we have feelings, and it is hard not to allow those feelings to get in the way.  We can say that we’re as strong as an Oak tree, and yet something can bring us to our knees.  It’s because we do feel so deeply, and that is a blessing and a curse in itself.  It’s a blessing because you get to share the wonderful parts of life with others and FEEL love!  At the same time, because we have loved, we made ourselves vulnerable to where we can be hurt by the very ones that love us and whom we love.

Maybe what that person said or did wouldn’t hurt so much if we didn’t care that deeply for them.

Or

Maybe if we thought they should have said or did something contrary to what they actually did, it still would not hurt as much if we didn’t care as deeply as we do.

I just believe in reaching out and extending the olive branch.  Bring the confrontation, disagreement, or misunderstanding to a close by reconnecting.  Agree to disagree, if you must, because we won’t always see eye to eye.  That is just another human trait we possess in having our unique personalities and ways about ourselves that are different from others.

The point I’m trying to make is that life IS short.  None of us know what tomorrow may bring or if there will even be a tomorrow.  Why let thing continue as they are in “ignore mode.”  Why not reach out and make amends?

Don’t misunderstand me here.  If someone is clearly toxic, abusive, or manipulative “gaslighting” you and things of that nature, I am NOT encouraging you to reconnect with someone that seeks to harm you.  I am, however, encouraging you to search your heart.  If this individual means anything at all to you or has in the past, reconsider the silent treatment you’ve been giving them.

Forgiveness is also a beautiful thing.

What if the person did something you felt was just horrible for speaking up when you acted foolish or called you out on your nasty behavior?  If they did it with the best of intentions and with a heart of love for you, consider that in all of this and forgive … as you would want to be forgiven.

None of us are perfect.  We fail miserably at times, and you know what?  At other times, we may behave the way we do because we have gotten so comfortable with the other that we think no matter what, all will be forgiven.  Maybe you feel you have opened up so much to the other party that you share such a bond that nothing could ever come between you, so you speak out.   You speak up.  You share your heart and you give them a little piece of your mind while you’re at it.  Because … you trust that your friendship, your bond, your connection is just that strong to withstand and persevere.

Then one day, it doesn’t, and you’re left wondering if you ever really meant anything to this person that now has you on “ignore mode.”

It does not take a mature person to ignore.

It takes an absolute adult with a heart of gold, though, to reach back out, let bygones be bygones, and pick that friendship back up and go on loving each other … as Christ first loved us!