Humans Are Strange Creatures
We always talk about UFOs and aliens, but entertain this thought for just a minute. What if the aliens are looking down at Earth shaking their head saying, “Humans are strange creatures!” Because, the truth of the matter is that we ARE!!
This thought popped into my head as I also thought of how strange we are when we have any adversity that comes our way. Friends and family will just stop speaking to each other over a disagreement. They will avoid the person that has offended them at all cost. At times, I have been guilty of this as well if the person’s offense was extreme and toxic. However, if you’ve been friends with someone for 20 years or longer, why cut ties completely over a difference of opinion or a disagreement? Isn’t the friendship worth salvaging? If it meant something for you guys to hang on to each other for 20 years – what in the world could ever come between you all that much to cause you to just flat ignore and act like the person and friendship never existed?! Or, did you hold on to the friendship out of convenience when you didn’t have anything better to do? Did your parents tell you to remain friends all that length of time? Surely that wouldn’t have influenced the friendship to that extreme. It just puzzles me why humans do this to each other. When you once cared so much about the other, and now you act like they are not even on Earth?
Why do we do this to each other?
I can understand if someone was abusive toward you physically and you needed to put distance. Run far, far away from the abuser and never look back!! But why do this to a friend that has shared so much with you through the years?
We have all heard it said many times, and we have often said it ourselves: “Life is too short!” The truth is that life IS short, so why waste a minute of pettiness like this? Why stop talking to someone you love due to a misunderstanding or a difference of opinion? Why haven’t we grown as a society to where we can be adults and talk about how we feel, get it out, and still remain friends at the end? Now, the norm is that we express ourselves and then turn on “ignore mode.”
That is just wrong on SO many levels!!
Have I been hurt by people? Yes.
Have I been offended by people? Yes.
Has there been misunderstandings with others through the years? You bet!
Have I even been the one to hurt, offend, and misunderstand others? Yep, I sure have. That isn’t something I am proud of, but because I am human, it has happened in my life. If I’m honest, it will probably happen again through the years, even when that is never my intention.
As humans, we have feelings, and it is hard not to allow those feelings to get in the way. We can say that we’re as strong as an Oak tree, and yet something can bring us to our knees. It’s because we do feel so deeply, and that is a blessing and a curse in itself. It’s a blessing because you get to share the wonderful parts of life with others and FEEL love! At the same time, because we have loved, we made ourselves vulnerable to where we can be hurt by the very ones that love us and whom we love.
Maybe what that person said or did wouldn’t hurt so much if we didn’t care that deeply for them.
Or
Maybe if we thought they should have said or did something contrary to what they actually did, it still would not hurt as much if we didn’t care as deeply as we do.
I just believe in reaching out and extending the olive branch. Bring the confrontation, disagreement, or misunderstanding to a close by reconnecting. Agree to disagree, if you must, because we won’t always see eye to eye. That is just another human trait we possess in having our unique personalities and ways about ourselves that are different from others.
The point I’m trying to make is that life IS short. None of us know what tomorrow may bring or if there will even be a tomorrow. Why let thing continue as they are in “ignore mode.” Why not reach out and make amends?
Don’t misunderstand me here. If someone is clearly toxic, abusive, or manipulative “gaslighting” you and things of that nature, I am NOT encouraging you to reconnect with someone that seeks to harm you. I am, however, encouraging you to search your heart. If this individual means anything at all to you or has in the past, reconsider the silent treatment you’ve been giving them.
Forgiveness is also a beautiful thing.
What if the person did something you felt was just horrible for speaking up when you acted foolish or called you out on your nasty behavior? If they did it with the best of intentions and with a heart of love for you, consider that in all of this and forgive … as you would want to be forgiven.
None of us are perfect. We fail miserably at times, and you know what? At other times, we may behave the way we do because we have gotten so comfortable with the other that we think no matter what, all will be forgiven. Maybe you feel you have opened up so much to the other party that you share such a bond that nothing could ever come between you, so you speak out. You speak up. You share your heart and you give them a little piece of your mind while you’re at it. Because … you trust that your friendship, your bond, your connection is just that strong to withstand and persevere.
Then one day, it doesn’t, and you’re left wondering if you ever really meant anything to this person that now has you on “ignore mode.”
It does not take a mature person to ignore.
It takes an absolute adult with a heart of gold, though, to reach back out, let bygones be bygones, and pick that friendship back up and go on loving each other … as Christ first loved us!
Fairytale Wedding
Once upon a time, there was a little girl twirling around in a white dress complete with her mama’s white heels. With this huge smile on her face, she danced and oozed with excitement as she clippety clopped down the hall. This little princess was my daughter at just two years old.
The years went by way too fast for my liking, and my little princess grew into a beautiful young lady. She met her Prince Charming while in college, and they dated for four years before he popped the question. He allowed me to be in on the surprise, so we planned a “family picture day.” When his side of the family and ours arrived, we did pose for family pictures. Then, we made our way over to the pond with everyone but her knowing what was getting ready to take place. It was a clear, perfect November day with the fall leaves changing along the pond when he got down on one knee and asked her to be his wife.
Ah … young love!
Wedding planning for this starry eyed couple began, and I was allowed the honor of preparing for their special day yet again. It thrilled my heart how they allowed me to be such an important part of these big events in their lives. They didn’t have to include me at all in the planning phase, and yet they did! At one point, our princess said she would be happy with a courthouse wedding, she just wanted to be his wife! While there isn’t anything wrong with a courthouse wedding, I knew deep down in my heart that was not going to be good enough for my princess.
We set out looking for THE perfect dress. While stopping at this one store, the nice ladies were trying to convince my princess that one of their dresses was “the one” for her. She certainly looked gorgeous in any gown, but the reaction she had when she saw herself in the mirror was not one that indicated to me that she was in love with the dress. I was in the doghouse when I made her leave that store in order to make the appointment at 3 p.m. at another bridal store. While there, though, I pulled every style of dress off of the rack, determined to find the perfect one for her! She was a bit overwhelmed and ready to call it quits, yet I asked her to try “just” one more. When she slipped on this one dress in particular, she almost squeal with delight when she turned around and saw herself in the mirror for the very first time! THAT was the reaction I was waiting for … and she, indeed, had found “the dress” at that point. It was perfect for her, with a high price tag, too, with NINE layers of lace but together we made her dreams come true with that particular dress, complete with long veil to match, and a princess tiara, too!
Our princess was not getting bogged down in the details of the wedding planning either, she was too in love with her prince to care about anything other than becoming his wife. She said she wasn’t much of a planner, meanwhile I live and breathe in planning mode! I can’t just throw something together last minute, oh no, months in advance I’m organizing, printing programs, thinking of flowers, tulle, and other decorations for the wedding spot she chose by our pond and for the tables at the reception. 
Fast forward ten months to “the” day, and our princess got her fairytale wedding! She has always loved Sleeping Beauty and Beauty and The Beast. Those were her absolute favorite Disney movies as a little girl. I remember many days of watching these movies until I could almost recite the lines word for word. It was rather fitting that she chose music from both movies as well, and it did enhance the atmosphere. The little ring bearer even commented as we waited, “That sounds like the song from Beauty and The Beast!” And … it was. His mom recognized it also, and smiled and nodded. I expected his two sisters to recognize the song, since they were dressed like little princesses themselves as our flower girls. Yet, it was the little boy making mention of the song – priceless!
Our princess personalized the music, and her prince walked down the aisle to “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran. He walked down the grassy strip lined with white and mint green rose petals, then he took his place in front of the wooden arch. The bridal party started making their way down one by one. The groomsmen wore gray tuxes with mint green bow ties, and the bridesmaids, carrying a bouquet of lavender, ivory, and pink flowers, wore mint green formal gowns. The song transitioned into “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen alternated until the maid of honor (Sister of the bride) and the best man walked down followed by the two flower girls and our “ring security” (ring bearer) complete with black sunglasses, briefcase, and a badge! How adorable!
And then …
The Bridal March (by The Violin Sisters) began to play, as our princess bride began to make her way down the aisle to her prince. We practiced this the night before at the rehearsal dinner, taking it ever so slow as we enjoyed the violin music on the way down. Yet, that day, her wedding day, she started out the gate like a racehorse, and we literally had to slow her down! It was quite funny, but thankfully she listened when I whispered for her to take it slow. Her granddaddy was on her right, and I was on her left. She had chosen to give us both the honor and privilege of walking her on her special day. We were extremely touched when she asked us! No, this was not the traditional way, but it was her wedding. She personalized that, too, and it was truly beautiful for her granddaddy and I to be a part of her special day. (She also picked out the dress I wore!)
When we reached her awaiting prince, my husband and my mother, the bride’s grandmother, joined us. The pastor asked, “Who gives the blessing on this marriage?” My father, her grandfather, replied, “We, as her family, do!” Then I hugged my little princess, joined hands with my father, and we made our way to our seats to watch their lives joining together as one!
It was an extremely moving ceremony. The couple chose the sand ceremony to symbolize their lives joining together, and just as you could no longer separate the grains of sand once combined in one single vase, this couple cannot be separated either now. While taking turns pouring the gray sand and the mint green sand into the vase, “I’ve Been Waiting For You” from the Mamma Mia movie played, and the lyrics moved us to tears. As if that wasn’t enough, shortly thereafter, the couple began to exchange vows they had written for each other. When the prince started speaking, his voice quivered and shook as he began to get emotional. I was doing okay up until that point, but there was no holding back any longer. The dam broke, and the flood of tears started. There is something so incredibly heart warming and special about a man not being afraid to show his emotions. He stood in front of his princess, speaking the most beautiful words from the depths of his soul and pouring out his heart as we all sat witnessing it unfold. Next, our princess shared her vows, and again, we could feel the emotions that were poured into writing these words to her prince.
As the pastor said, “You may kiss your bride,” the couple began their special handshake, which had us all smiling and laughing at that point. They sealed the deal with a beautiful kiss, though, and after being introduced as husband and wife, walked out hand in hand and heart to heart together to Sleeping Beauty’s “Once Upon A Dream.”
The festivities continued with a barbecue feast at the reception. At the prince’s request, we had the traditional Southern “pig picking” with hash and rice, barbecue meat with sauce, green beans, macaroni and cheese, fried chicken, wedding cake and brownies, too! We were extremely pleased with the caterer and with the wedding cake as well! Everything was so perfect, we almost had to pinch ourselves!
After the couple cut the cake and took a variety of fun pictures, we made our way to the patio area that served as their dance floor. The couple danced their “first dance” to “I Was Made For Loving You” by Tori Kelly followed by the father/daughter dance to “Cinderella” by Steven Curtis Chapman. They added a dance especially for the bride and her grandfather as well, and they danced to “Grandpa” by The Judds. Toasts and speeches were given in honor of the beautiful couple.
The “getaway” car was none other than her granddaddy’s fully restored 1957 Chevy Bel-Air two door, hard top, and he was the chauffeur! I don’t know who was smiling wider, the couple or my daddy, as the newlyweds made their way through the “jazz” hands that formed a bridge for them to walk under! At the end, the candy apple red beauty waited, and the couple was ushered inside by the bride’s granddaddy.
Our princess did, indeed, have her fairytale wedding after all.
And the couple is living happily ever after!
Red Roses and Our Loved Ones
Our daughter got married this weekend! In the happiness of the event, we were also saddened as several of our loved ones have passed on. We so wished they were here to witness the union of our beautiful daughter and her handsome husband, and in our own unique way, we made it so. Allow me to tell you about the red roses and our loved ones …
A red rose is the universal symbol meaning “I Love You.” It proclaims beauty and also symbolizes a strong family bond, unity, harmony, faith, and hope for a wonderful future. This is the reason why we chose red roses to be placed in honor and memory of our loved ones at the wedding. It is also the reason why red roses were intertwined with the white roses on the wooden arch that the couple stood in front of to exchange vows.
The white chiffon was placed on the arch to appear like angel wings in the background, as we like to think of our loved ones who have gone on before us as angels who are watching over us now. We placed a candelabra and a sign at the wedding ceremony that said, “We know you’d be here today if Heaven weren’t so far away.” We also had a ladder style shelf with the bouquet my sister gave me when I was her Matron of Honor in her wedding years ago. We displayed some pictures below the bouquet in honor and memory of our loved ones. Pictured were: Pamela Huffman Smoak, Bradley Brunson, WadeDelle Moody, Elise R. Huffman, and Clinton Huffman, Sr. Sadly, pictures of FM Brunson and Emily Guest were not on display that day, but they will remain in our hearts forever.
Now I will share a little bit about these precious people:
Pamela is my sister & Brittney’s Aunt. Oh, Pam absolutely fell in love with Brittney before she was born and came to our house with a car full of gifts. I enjoyed seeing Pam doting over Brittney and enjoying all of her firsts with us. Brittney would laugh so hard, and Pam would smile so wide as they played together. One of my favorite memories of them together was when Pam brought over an Easter basket with colorful eggs to hide for an Easter egg hunt just for little Brittney. Pam hid all of the eggs and watched with joy as Brittney scurried around the yard looking for them. Brittney’s face would light up each time she would find one of those pastel- colored eggs. They were so full of joy and love for each other. The love between an aunt and a niece is so strong and powerful!
Bradley is Brittney’s Brother. They were fairly close in age, and they shared the same beautiful blue eyes and adorably contagious smiles! I remember Brittney crawling into the truck to help Bradley hold the gifts we gave him when we would see him. He would smile shyly back at us as he opened them. Through the years this little boy turned into a giant standing beside his sister at her high school graduation. I’ll forever remember his smile standing next to Brittney at her high school graduation! Although they would bicker like all siblings do, the love was there without a doubt even if the words were rarely spoken between them. The heart knows!
FM is Brittney’s Grandfather. FM is short for Francis Marion. “FM,” “Rufus” or “Papa” were also some of his nicknames. Although Brittney never got to meet him, Papa was there when we learned I was pregnant with her. He was so happy to hear the news! We looked forward to witnessing this gentle giant holding this little tiny baby. Sadly, he was taken from before she was born. I remember him fondly, as I loved playing in his hair. It was so fluffy and white as cotton. He was truly a kind, gentle soul, and I’ll never forget how he would tease us by making puppy dog eyes while asking, “Will you be my friend?” or how he would say “I love you.” I made sure Brittney knew him and shared some of my most favorite things about him to her while pointing him out in pictures to her through the years.
WadeDelle is Brittney’s Grandmother. WadeDelle attended field trips with Brittney in elementary and middle school, and she was one of her biggest fans when performing with God’s Copy Cats of St. George Baptist Church and also at ballet and clogging recitals. Sadly, she fell ill shortly after Dakota and Brittney started dating. He went with us to visit her while she was in the hospital, and she made a point to tell Dakota that she heard a lot of good things about him. I asked Dakota to pray right there in the hospital room. Even though I put him on the spot, he did not hesitate and went right into the perfect prayer for her. One of her signature phrases was “Oh my land!” We still use that phrase around our house today, as she is a part of our lives even still.
Elise is Brittney’s Great-Grandmother. Brittney would crawl into her lap, and together they would have the best time laughing together. She would light up when she would see Brittney, and thankfully, I have pictures of the two of them bonding and sharing memories together. Brittney was a teenager when her great-grandmother passed. We are all so thankful Brittney was not only able to meet her but truly know who she was and have memories with her through the years.
Clinton Sr. Brittney’s Great-Grandfather. Sadly, Brittney was only four years old when he passed away. Although she knows of him, she was too little to remember too much of the interactions with him. We have pictures of him at her birthday parties through those early years, though, and we treasure them! He was usually a soft-spoken man of few words that would soak in the conversations when family would visit. I will always remember the plaid shirts and Texaco hats he would wear.
Emily is Brittney’s dear friend. They “met” online and became close friends. They helped each other through some really tough times. That’s my girl, always reaching out to help others in need.
I just wanted to share little snippets of the people we honored that day. We did ask Dakota’s family for any loved ones they would like mentioned or honored during the wedding also, but his family did not wish to have anyone listed although the offer was extended several times. I realize often times bad memories may return at the mention of a loved one’s name, so we understand.
I am sure you noticed while reading this that I have purposely chose “is” instead of “was” when I referenced these precious people. The reason for this is because death cannot change who they are to us nor what they mean to us. I also choose not to say “loved” when speaking or writing about them, as in “I loved him or her” because love is eternal. Our love did not die the day they passed away. Love remains to this very day and always will. Love binds our hearts and lives together through the years and through eternity.
As Paul Harvey used to say, “And now you know … the rest of the story.”
