Light, Love, Hope

This whole 31 day challenge has been just that … a challenge for me.

I lost my umph … my will to write.  Depression crept in and left me at a loss for words.  Life circumstances stole a part of me for a little while.

But, I snapped back.

A few days into the challenge, I fought the will to just let it all go and actually caught up.  I had to write and schedule several posts a day, which might delight some of my readers while making others wish I was still on a hiatus.  Ha!

But I persevered.  I wrote.  I scheduled.  I begged Greg to write some as well to not only fill the gap but to let his voice be heard, and HE DID!!!!  (I love it when he writes!)

And finally I no longer had to scramble to get the words down or the posts written.  They flowed … and I didn’t have to sit and stare at my computer screen long before the words started coming after thinking briefly on each prompt word.

That’s the thing with life.  You never know what is going to be thrown at you that might zap your energy for a little while or steal your joy.  The thing is this; DON’T STAY THERE!

It’s okay to take a break; regroup.

But get back in there and fight the good fight!

Don’t let depression win.  OR any other joy stealer that is out there.

Rise above it …

Stretch … yawn … extend your arms in front of you with your fingers intertwined … press them palms outward … crack your knuckles … roll up your sleeves … and begin again.

As the self-proclaimed “Picture Queen,” you know I love taking pictures!  Anyone that is near me is subject to be in a picture no matter what they’re doing.  At work?  Picture time!  I love whipping out my phone/camera to capture moments when my coworkers are acting anything but professional.  Those pictures are for my viewing pleasure only; although some occasionally will make their way to Facebook.  Oops – sorry, not sorry!

With my family, though, I take a BUNCH of pictures because I want to capture the moment we’re in.  I want to live it, yes.  But I want to take the picture to reflect back on how I was feeling at the time it was taken.

Holidays when everyone is gathered around looking their best – we are snapping away.  We must have pictures by the tree, pictures on the lawn in front of the house with the colorful Fall leaves around, even pictures on hayrides enjoying the wonders of the season.

Vacations – everyone takes hundreds of pictures on vacation. No?  It’s just me?  Okay …

Babies!  Who doesn’t love taking pictures of their sweet babies to share with others?!  I said a long time ago that my babies might have flash burns on them (if there is such a thing) from all the pictures I have taken through the years.

But they are our treasures long after that moment has passed!

There are those who do NOT like being in the pictures because they’re afraid they don’t look good enough or take a good picture.  Girlfriend, please!  Get IN the picture.  So what if your makeup isn’t perfect, your hair is a mess, or you feel you gained too much weight from Halloween to New Year’s Day – GET IN THE PICTURE!  Your family will want to look back on the good times shared with you.  Let them see your beautiful face smiling back in all of those pictures that they will surely cherish.  Don’t take that away from them.  That’s their joy in looking back over them time and time again.  Let them see you IN them, not just know you were there behind the camera capturing the moments.

“I’ll be brief …” my mother-in-law used to say.

It left you wondering if she was short on time or just tired of talking to you.  Laugh if you will, but honestly, it made me wonder each time I heard her say it.

We didn’t always have the best relationship, and my heart is heavy because of that.  But, I don’t shoulder this alone.  She felt it, too, I believe.

The most amazing thing happened prior to her passing, though.  We had an opportunity to talk about past hurts.  Although we could not get lost time back, we could make amends over anything that may have been a wedge between us before.

And I sobbed deep, gut-wrenching sobs right in her hospital room, then released any bad vibe we ever had between us.  Right then and there, it was resolved.  Nothing mattered but the time we had left with her.

Brief.

That was the time we had with her after that.

It went extremely too fast.

We made the most of our time left with her, though.

This time of year always makes me think of that.  As we prepare for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I remember how she wanted us to gather at her house for the holidays.  Although she couldn’t prepare the feast as she once did, she had it prepared by a place in town that she loved.  She invited us to her house, and we all gathered around together to enjoy.

I’m so thankful for the time we spent with her in her last days.

My husband likes to hop on the “shoulda, coulda, woulda …” train and go on down the track.  But I focus on what we actually DID with her.  Those are the memories I choose to cling to and what I focus on.