Turn
Five Minute Friday Word of The Day: Turn
We aren’t sure how things will turn out in life, are we?
The past couple of days, I’ve been out of sorts. It was something we couldn’t quite put our finger on. Until today.
Today is my grandmother’s birthday. She passed several years ago after struggling for two years, in and out of hospitals and just going through so very much toward the end.
And these were the last days of my mother-in-law’s life this exact time last year. It haunts me to this very day.
Just when you think you’re doing great and nothing can bring you down, you’re hit right square in the face with memories. I’d love it to always be happy, joyous memories. However, that is not always the case. You have to endure days of pain to appreciate the joy that comes in the morning. Or, you go through the storms to appreciate the beautiful rainbow that appears after the gray skies clear and the sun begins to emerge yet again.
I’m not choosing to focus on all of the negative that this time of year holds. In the middle of all of this, there have been great moments of pure joy. We celebrated my daughter’s boyfriend turning 20 years old, and one of my nearest and dearest friends turned 51 on the same exact day. I’ve laughed, smiled, and shed some tears this week. I’ve been a big ball of emotion, so hard to handle being in my own skin at times. I cannot imagine what people think that have had to endure all of this right alongside me this week. But I thank them for not giving up on me or turning away when I needed them to pull me out of my funk.
I didn’t want to tell my husband what was wrong because I didn’t want him thinking of his mother’s last days, if he wasn’t already there mentally and emotionally. So I held it in, often shrugging my shoulders when asked what was wrong. I was not withholding to be mean. I was thinking of preserving his feelings.
But there are brighter days ahead … another friend’s birthday is approaching … and my dear mother’s birthday is the very last day of the month.
SO I feel the feelings … and I turn the page.
Watching God In Action
Last night I sat in awe watching God in action.
After work, school, and working out at the local YMCA, my family and I decided to go to a little town known for their Amish restaurant.
I noticed the lady’s hair right away when I walked through the doors of that old restaurant. Her hair had several pretty shades of blonde, ash, and brown mixed into a very becoming style. When she got ready to fix our plates, I commented immediately on how pretty her hair was. She thanked me and added that she just did her own hair the night before. This lead to a brief conversation about how she was a cosmetologist and had just moved from Indiana. She started talking about how she had to take her State Boards again. The thought of this had made her physically ill especially since she was older and hadn’t done any of those things in years. Apparently, this was required to transfer her license to the state of South Carolina. Her anxiety was extremely obvious, so I mentioned that my daughter had just graduated from Cosmetology school and passed her State Boards with flying colors.
The lady’s face lit up with excitement!
She forgot all about the white plate she was holding in her hand waiting to be filled with our supper. At this point, though, I didn’t mind at all because I was witnessing God in action! You see, my daughter originally groaned when I asked her to go to this restaurant last night. She was tired after working out and really wanted something a little closer to home. However, I finally convinced her to go with us.
After they talked briefly, she asked my daughter to please see her before we left so she could get additional information. She didn’t want to hold us up from enjoying our supper any more than she already had. So, after we finished eating our delicious meal, my daughter went back over to talk to the lady. My daughter was very thorough and provided the contact information for her instructor at the college just in case she had any additional questions my daughter couldn’t address. The lady thanked her and even hugged her like they were old friends! She had this look of relief on her face and looked as if the weight of the world had been lifted off of her shoulders!
My daughter exited the restaurant with her face literally beaming! She was able to calm this lady’s nerves and help her not feel so anxious over the State Boards! My daughter provided the reassurance this lady needed!
Once seated in the vehicle, my daughter said, “Mama, I believe God placed me here tonight just for this reason. I was able to help this lady, so I was meant to come here tonight! It was part of God’s plan.”
Yes, Lord! Yes!!
You Don’t Get To Decide
A misunderstanding occurred over the weekend via text, of all things. Two friends were talking back and forth when one took something the wrong way. You’re at a true disadvantage when you can’t hear the person’s tone of voice or see their facial expressions. It makes it much harder to communicate effectively at times.
Something light-hearted and teasing was sent, but it was not received as such. The person took offense, spouted off, and in that instance, feelings were hurt. A sting was felt inside one’s heart. Tears began to sting their eyes, but they blinked them back so as not to allow it to get the best of them.
When they finally were able to express themselves, they admitted they were a little bit hurt. The response almost written back immediately was, “I did nothing to hurt you …”
And they froze.
Here’s the thing. You don’t get to decide whether you did something or not to hurt someone’s feelings. If THEY felt hurt by something you said or did, that is their perception. Like it or not, their perception becomes their reality!
And silence fell between them.
I learned a long time ago that feelings aren’t right or wrong, they just ARE.
I’ve been told I’m a highly sensitive person, as if that was a flaw in my personality. It’s a good thing I don’t view it that way, though. I’m anything but flawed! Just because I might feel deeper than most or might be struck by something that wouldn’t bother another person, that does not make me weak or flawed in any stretch of the imagination.
I am me, and I will not apologize for that. You shouldn’t either!
Feeling as deep as I do at times allows for me to show compassion to others. Compassion is something that is lacking in this world today, so I’m proud of my feelings and ability to make sure people know that they matter in this world.
That you do get to decide. You choose how you want to be with the world. You have a say in how you want to interact with people. But you do not get to decide whether someone is offended or hurt by something you said or did. It doesn’t work that way … at … all.
You might be trying to get the responsibility off of your shoulders so you won’t feel bad. That’s great – but I’m woman enough to own my feelings and emotions. I recognize them, allow them to be for the moment, but I will not be controlled by them. I am able to be rational about things and push my feelings aside to work. But deny my feelings so that someone else feels better? I will not! And neither should you!
