The Choice Is Yours
If you had a choice to be grouchy, irritated, or annoying with nagging on someone vs. being sweet, upbeat, and a joy to be around, which would you choose?
Let’s be honest here. No one enjoys someone who walks around mad at the world with a chip on their shoulders all the time. Now, I’m not talking about someone who just had something bad happen to them where I’m expecting them to just be overjoyed with what just took place. We’re all human, and we will all react the way we choose to react. What I’m referring to is a spouse that is constantly in a bad mood morning, noon, and night. No matter what, nothing is good enough or pleasing enough for them. (Note: I am not referring to my marriage, but one of my friends is going through this right this very minute!)
It’s difficult to sit by and watch this happening. You offer support and encouragement, yet you hear day after day of this going on.
What I want to bring to light is that in this situation – as in all situations – the choice is YOURS on how you react or respond. It’s up to you to decide if you are going to wallow in this hatred that you seem to carry around with you spewing harsh, accusatory words, OR if you’re going to be a ray of sunshine in someone’s life.
For me, I want to be that ray of sunshine.
I want others to look at me and smile because I’ve smiled at them! I desire for my smile to be contagious enough that it goes immediately to their faces, too!
Honestly, I do not want people to remember me as a nag. I don’t want people to look back at their time with me and think how much I brought them down. Also, I don’t want to be the reason someone else ends up having a portion of their day ruined … all because of how I’ve lashed out at them or chose to behave.
When my feet hit the floor in the mornings, I want to greet the day with happiness inside my soul. I want those around me to greet me with a smile and a hug, the same way I want to greet them. Realizing not everyone is a morning person, no deep conversation is needed before coffee (or for me, warm lemon and honey water). Just smile. Hug. Exchange pleasant “Good Mornings,” and let that be it until after a shower or after you feel awake enough to carry on a pleasant conversation.
What I’ve observed with my friend’s spouse is constant criticism, having their character attacked, and even accusing them of things the spouse has made up in their own minds.
STOP IT!
Just stop.
That’s what I want to say to them.
Life is too short for all of that, and in the end, it will torment you if you continue to choose to live your life this way.
There’s an argument about which takes more energy – being hateful or being a joy. Truly, it doesn’t matter which takes more energy – think of which is more pleasant to be around. A grouch, huffing and puffing throwing a temper tantrum? Or a smiling face that beams with joy from the inside out? I’ll take the latter of the two, thank you!
If someone around me starts to bring me down by their behavior and the way they choose to carry themselves, I’ll attempt to turn the situation around. If it fails, however, I will quickly remove myself from that situation and the sour puss. I’ll be polite about it, but I will choose NOT to allow that person to affect my mood or steal my joy! Plain and simple!
The choice is yours – which one will you choose today?
Attitudes, love, and words unspoken
Yesterday was “The Day of Love,” ie: Valentine’s Day. I purposely chose not to write on that particular day but to enjoy seeing the display of love that surrounded me. Not that I was anticipating anything at all, because I am not that type of person, but because I get such great joy of seeing those around me happy and in love as well.
Today I want to talk about attitudes, love, and words unspoken.
One of the features I adore on Facebook is the “memories” that pop up. This is a daily reminder of what happened on that particular day, however many years ago, and what you posted on your timeline. Today, two quotes popped up that I shared a few years apart.
The greatest discovery of my generation
is that human beings can alter their lives
by altering their attitudes of mind.
~William James
This particular quote should have sort-of an awakening effect when you read it and let it sink in. Think about it. YOU can alter your entire life by simply altering your attitude! You can make up your mind to stop looking at things from a negative perspective. Likewise, you can stop choosing to speak negatively about yourself and others as well. Why not be a more enjoyable person to be around instead of wallowing in hatefulness.
Here’s an example. A wife of one of my coworkers is obsessed with me, referring to me as “that” woman. He and I are both married with children, so why should I be the object of her remarks? Why am I the focus? He and I are forced to work together due to the very nature of our jobs. Yet, shortly after I started working here in 2016, I received a text message from her. Little does she realize, this is unlawful use of a cell phone. When you have not had any business texting someone before, yet do so for something of this nature, it’s illegal. Most people do not realize this and think their actions are harmless. We found out from our local sheriff’s department three years ago when my daughter was being hounded by such text messages that it is, in fact, illegal activity. That matter was addressed by the chief, which is where this is headed should I receive any more messages from this jealous wife.
My thing is this: if there’s trouble in paradise, why doesn’t she shift her focus and energy on bettering herself and making sure she’s the best wife she can possibly be. IF she would concern herself more with that, she wouldn’t need to think twice about little ole me. Why am I a threat to her? Perhaps she takes her husband for granted, mistreated him or neglects him. I can only imagine because why else would the green-eyed monster be on her shoulder?
There is one person at work that I do pick on a lot, only because they started picking on me last May. Up until then, I was quiet, shy, and reserved. But it was ON when they started up with me! Now, they probably wish I’d go back to that, but we’ve turned into the best of office buddies. It makes the day go by faster with laughter in the office, and this guy is single so I’m not a threat to anyone in his situation! It’s just innocent fun. (Psst. I’m old enough to be his mother!)
Changing the subject now, I’d like to focus on the spirit of love. This quote speaks volumes.
The moments when you have truly lived
are the moments when you have done things
in the spirit of love.
Henry Drummond
When was the last time you did something for someone out of the spirit of love? Honestly not thinking of anything you stand to gain, but going out of your way to let someone know you appreciate them? I was on the receiving end of such kindness this week, and I walked around with a silly grin on my face for days. DAYS!! It doesn’t have to be something grande or extravagant, nothing expensive even. Just knowing that someone took time out of their day to remember me in some way makes my heart sing.
Last but not least, words unspoken. What’s in your heart? Better yet, have you spoken those words to the one that truly needs to hear it? This is something a lot of people have a hard time with. Whether ego gets in the way, or they are just too bashful to admit their feelings, it’s incredibly sad when things need to be said and yet there’s silence.
Crickets chirping in the distance …
Please don’t allow this to happen. I’ve seen it happen firsthand, and the person that didn’t say how they felt ended up with terrible regret.
Speak now, while the person can hear the words your heart is longing to say!
That is all for today. Carry on, dear ones!
An Unexpected Love Story
My daughter has a research paper to do for school. Most parents cringe at hearing this, but not me. I love words; reading, writing, exploring, and putting it all together. I’ve known for quite a while that I’m not normal, and that’s okay with me!
The teacher has allowed her to pick her own topic for research. It was with great delight that I began to help her research and write on The Diary of Anne Frank. As a child, I read about her, and I was fascinated, yet horrified, at the story! To imagine a teenager living in the days of World War II during the Holocaust was hard to comprehend, yet she wrote with such passion in her diaries that now allow us to have a glimpse into her days and her thoughts during this time period.
Imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon passages contained within her diary that spoke of an unexpected love story! Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that a love story would be tucked away inside the pages of her diary. Yet, my heart leaped with excitement as I read her words and learned of how fond she had become of a boy named Peter. Sharing the Secret Annex with him, she developed feelings she’d never experienced before. It was thrilling that even in the midst of the world in utter chaos, her little heart found hope and something to cling to in such trying times.
Just recently, I shared a passage out of her diary with someone dear to me; someone who has closed themselves off emotionally due to circumstances in their past that has caused them great pain. It saddens my heart that any individual would become so cold and numb as a result of others doing them wrong, yet it has happened. I’m trying to help this person climb out from under years of emotional abuse at the hands of someone who was supposed to love them. Years of this treatment has wreaked havoc on this individual, but I know they hide for fear of being hurt again.
I wonder whether you could tell me why it is that people
always try so hard to hide their real feelings?
How is it that I am always quite different
from what I should be in other people’s company
and also quite different from what I am inside?
Why do people trust one another so little?
Oh, I do know there must be a reason,
but things are bad, very bad, indeed!
~Anne Frank
The words of a 13-year-old school girl resonate with us all. Wise beyond her years, Anne Frank leaves a legacy behind and asks some pointed questions we can all relate to.
Whenever I go upstairs now,
I keep hoping that I shall see “him.”
Because my life now has some object
and I have something to look forward to,
everything has become more pleasant.
At least the object of my feelings is always there,
and I needn’t be afraid of rivals (except Margot).
You really needn’t think I’m in love, since I’m not,
but I do have the feeling all the time
that something fine can grow up between us,
something which gives confidence and friendship.
~Anne Frank
And those feelings, no matter how you try to tuck them away, will eventually wiggle their way up from the bottom of your heart and make themselves known. They aren’t to be feared. Feelings aren’t right or wrong. They just are … embrace them! When dealing with an emotionally fragile person, much care must be given that the feelings have started to surface so no harm will come to them now. Place your heart into my hands where I will safeguard it and handle with care.
