Mr. Fix It
Men are fixers … if something is wrong, they automatically want to fix it. My husband is Mr. Fit It himself! If there ever was anyone on the face of the earth that wanted to fix something … it’s HIM!
My husband was a nervous wreck pacing the floors of the hospital as he waited with my two daughters, my daughter’s boyfriend, and my father. He has a lot of nervous energy anyway, but this was way worse than that. My daughter told me how antsy he was as they all waited together for news on how I was doing during the three-hour surgery.
Two weeks later, my husband took me back to the doctor due to a complication I was having. The result was a second surgery, and my poor husband sat in the waiting room alone this time. It was a last-minute decision to go back to surgery upon two failed attempts to resolve the bleeding with in-office procedures. My heart went out to him as I knew he’d be a mess as he waited alone. My daughter offered to come, but it was an hour and 15 minute drive. The doctor wanted to take me back immediately.
Ten days later, I came down with the flu! I’m telling you, at that time, it seemed like this sista could NOT catch a break! My husband was so worried about me; checking my temperature, writing the results down in a notebook to keep track, and making sure I had my Tamiflu every 12 hours on the dot. When I started throwing up the second day, he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me as I hugged the trash can in front of me. I was so miserable at that time, I did not care about being graceful. At all. Period. I mean, how can you really be graceful emptying your stomach and then dry heaving? How’s that for a visual? Later, he apologized if I felt as if I was on display, but he said he felt so helpless and wanted so badly to help me.
Now that all of that is behind me, my husband approached me last week with an idea.
“Shirley, you’ve been through hell. I mean you really have.”
“Yeah …”
“I want to do something for you.”
“Awe, that’s sweet, but you don’t have to,” I responded, thinking he wanted to make me breakfast or something like that.
“I want to buy you a new vehicle.”
I stopped in my tracks as I paused for a moment, then said, “That is really sweet, but … “
He continued, “No, hear me out. I couldn’t do anything to fix what you were going through. All I could do was sit and watch you as you suffered. If you’d let me, I’d like to buy you a new vehicle since you are just now able to drive again.”
As you can imagine, I was so surprised!
It was such a sweet gesture, but I have never been a materialistic person. I appreciated his offer so much, though.
He asked if I would at least look at a few new vehicles to see if I’d like to have one. So, I went with him and found my dream vehicle – but honestly, I could take it or leave it. After he insisted multiple times, I took it!
~smile~
And I made Mr. Fix It feel much better!
He truly does feel as if he has helped in my recovery, and I’ve humored him by telling him that I suddenly feel MUCH better! ~wink~
PS It’s a burgundy Tahoe. ~squeal~
Patience Is A Virtue
I’ve heard this all my life, “Patience is a virtue.” Having said that, I do have patience when it comes to a lot of things. Long lines in the grocery store, other people’s children misbehaving in public, traffic jams, etc., haven’t really caused me a lot of problems because I realize it’s a temporary thing, and it will pass. I try to occupy myself with other things to get my mind off of it, like grabbing the Inquirer as I wait in line OR checking my phone until the line moves.
Having a major surgery really tests your patience because you want so badly to have your life back. Yet, you are restricted from some of your daily activities. Getting out of the recliner, getting into and out of the shower, putting on your shoes, these are just some of the little things we take for granted. Having a hysterectomy limited my activities since the doctor did not want me to do anything that would engage my core muscles. My family has been wonderful, and they have helped me without complaining, even in the wee hours of the morning when they are deprived from sleep while helping me to the bathroom.
Being nervous and scared prior to the first surgery, I was known to say to my family and friends, “I just want to be on the other side of this.” When I started having those setbacks and required an additional surgery, I said it again. I was so desperate to be on the other side of this thing knowing everything was going to be okay. My husband reassured me that I would get there, but it would take time.
Time.
Meanwhile, I was held hostage on my couch and ordered by my doctor to be an official couch potato. He did not want me doing anything at all but resting. That was great for the first few days, but then I felt like I had enough couch time and wanted my life back.
And then, I developed the flu, in which I was absolutely miserable. Waking up one Sunday morning feeling as if my bones were aching, I felt sure I had the flu. Sure enough, as I dragged myself off of the couch and into the shower, with the help of my husband, I eventually made my way to the doctor’s office where they confirmed it. Type A flu was making me ache in places I didn’t even know I had!
Fast forward a week later, and the flu is a thing of the past. Hallelujah! All that was left to remind me of the week from hell was a lingering “crispy” cough, as my daughter describes it. Thankfully, that is now better, too!
Patience.
Did someone say patience?
I have to laugh as all things that happened were completely out of my control, so I was forced to be patient as I went through two surgeries and then the flu on top of everything else.
Finally able to return to the doctor’s office for the ultrasound, I was reassured with the outcome there. Everything was “stable,” and the doctor did not find anything of concern last Monday! Praise The Lord! AND … ~drum roll, please~ I was released to return to work!!! The land of the living! Woo-Hoo! What’s more is I was finally allowed to DRIVE again! I’m telling you, it’s the little things we take for granted that are stripped away from you to where you want to celebrate when you’re able to finally do them again!
There was one more obstacle in the way preventing me from having complete reassurance, and that was the hematologist appointment I still had to face. Knowing I was going into an oncology office was completely unnerving! Yet, I was told I was seeing the doctor solely for the blood disorder piece.
Thursday came, and I made my way to his office with clammy hands and a racing heart. As I sat waiting on the doctor to appear, the nursing assistant noted my elevated heart rate and blood pressure. Yes, I was nervous!
Then … he appeared.
This tall, gentle, black giant entered the room, shook my hand, and began to express how he did not feel I would be needing his services. He further went on to explain that I had a major surgery before when I had the rupture ectopic pregnancy. Since I didn’t have significant bleeding after that surgery, he did not feel I had an underlying blood disorder, although that was why I was referred to his office. He expressed that while I did bleed after the hysterectomy, it was not immediately. He felt it would have been an immediate respond to the major surgery if I did, in fact, have a blood disorder. Being that it was two weeks after the first surgery that I developed the bleeding, he concluded that there must have been a problem with the sutures themselves. Maybe a suture wasn’t secure on the corner of the vaginal cuff, and when I walked, it caused the suture to come undone more thus resulting in the bleeding I experienced. Having the sutures reinforced seemed to solve that problem, with the exception of the bleeding a week later due to the blood clots the ultrasound revealed.
The long and short of it is, I went to see the hematologist, and he had GREAT news!
While he did additional blood work to be certain, he does not think I will be needing him further after the follow-up appointment in February to review the results of the tests he ordered.
Yeah!
I felt like the weight of the world was lifted right off of my shoulders! Thank you, Lord!
I am happy to report that I AM on the other side of this now, and life continues to improve daily! I’m back to work and loving every single minute of it! I’ve been able to slide back behind the wheel of my Volvo C70 hardtop convertible with the bass thumping as I roll out of my driveway with a huge smile on my face. Each day proves to be better than the day before and the pains are less and less now. I’m so grateful to God for being with me every step of the way, even when I faced way more than I wanted to during this whole ordeal. I’m not sure why I had to go through all that I did, but I’m feeling so much better now.
LIFE IS GOOD!!
And my God is GREAT!
I’m finally on the other side!!
Things I Learned About Myself
It’s now been four weeks and two days since the original surgery, and two weeks and two days since the second surgery. I was supposed to go back last week to have another ultrasound to check the two blood clots the doctor has been monitoring. However, I developed the flu! Yes, of all things, and of all people to get it, I did!
I have tried to do just what the doctor ordered all of this time, yet things happened which were all beyond my control. The flu took the wind right out of my sails, that’s for sure! The second day, I threw up five times over a period of several hours, all while praying I didn’t cause any harm to the surgery places inside!
Fever, chills, body aches, massive headache, congestion, and a terrible cough all went with it. A trip to the doctor and ten Tamiflu later, I am feeling better! My entire household is now on Tamiflu to hopefully prevent them getting the flu. I’m praying they do not experience this because it was miserable!
During all of this, there are things I learned about myself.
- I am a good patient. My husband and children have observed me when I’ve been most vulnerable. They have witnessed me calmly sitting in somewhat of an upright position in the hospital bed, quiet as a mouse. I let the nurses do their job, and I try to be the best patient I possibly can. When asked about it recently, I told my husband that these are the people caring for me. There is no need in me becoming a bad patient when they are tending to me because I could make the situation a LOT worse for myself. And I do NOT want to do that. I realize the nurses are in charge of my IVs, as well as administering medicine, and helping me in and out of the bed to go to the bathroom. I’m not about to tick them off by being a loud and obnoxious patient. Now, don’t get me wrong, if someone starts mistreating me, I’ll find my voice real quick. But there is no need to be a bad patient, ever. Period. Let them do their jobs, and most of the time, they will exceed your expectations.
- I have anxiety. This I have known for a while, but I thought it was just a touch of anxiety that would rear its ugly head every now and then. With what I’ve been going through, it has made itself more apparent. There is no shame or weakness in admitting I have anxiety. Believe me, you would, too, if you started bleeding profusely after a surgery that was supposed to prevent that from ever happening again!
- I have faith in God. My faith has been a huge part of my recovery from life in general when things try to knock me down. I get back up, dust myself off, and pray harder than ever before. And, I did just that when the complications started. I found myself pacing the floor with tears spilling out of my eyes as I clasped my hands together and prayed to God to help me. My family was scared, as was I, but in a crisis situation, they got to see me clinging to God and begging for Him to help me. They’ve known for a while that my faith is strong, and they know I pray. But they got to witness firsthand something that is usually only between myself and my Lord and Savior.
- I have post traumatic stress. My doctor acknowledged this due to all that I’ve been through this past year and a half with the doctors and the illness itself. This drives the anxiety through the roof at times. Yet, my God is bigger than this AND the anxiety.
- I am strong. What would make others crawl into a fetal position has only made me realize how strong I truly am. I’ve handled everything that has been coming at me with the help of God, and He has been my strength!
- I am a firm believer in second opinions! As I started out on this journey, I saw a local doctor who didn’t have much of a bedside manner and who was too “matter-of-fact” for my liking. Listen up. Just because the doctor might be closer to you as in drive time does NOT mean they are the doctor that needs to be treating you! I have found much better care from a doctor that is an hour and fifteen minutes away from me. This has not always been convenient, especially with the complications that developed. BUT, I do not mind the drive because I know I will be in great hands when I finally reach their office! If you’re going through something, now or in the future, there is NOTHING wrong with seeking a second opinion. Maybe the doctors will concur with their findings and treatment options, or maybe they won’t. You owe it to yourself to seek the best care available to you no matter what is going on in your life or with your family. It truly matters who you choose to care for you. I am so happy with my choice, so much that I’ve recommended him to others!
- I am emotional. And there isn’t anything in the world wrong with that. It seems I’ve shed my share of tears within this last month, but it hasn’t all been because I’ve been worried or scared. Things affect me greater now like even being sent a video recommendation from a friend that resulted in tears falling like rain. Why? Because it was the sweetest message in that song, and they wanted me to hear it.
- I am a good friend. During all of this, I have come to realize that I am the kind of friend I’d like to have. Did that sound weird? I check on people. I care deep within my soul about their well-being It matters to me when my friends are hurting – no matter if we talk daily or if we get so busy in life that we only talk every now and then. If I find out someone I love is hurting or going through something, I reach out to them to let them know I care and I’m here for them. And I mean it with my whole heart. Sadly, I have not had a whole lot of this during the past month’s recovery. The ones I have had it from were surprisingly MEN! Yep, you got it. My women friends haven’t really bothered at all, which has caused a little bit of sadness and disappointment, but I realize that’s life. People aren’t going to do for me what I would do for them. They just don’t. And it’s been proven. But, there are good people in the world that DO check up on me and care for me. I have known for a while that I get along better with men, older women, and children. That’s no secret. I have one gentleman coworker that checks on me almost daily, if it hasn’t been every single day since this all started. It was a surprise, really, but I’ve appreciated his care and concern. My boss has checked in on me several times as well. He’s a really great guy! I also have guy friends in other states that have reached out, but one such gentleman in New Zealand has let me know he cares just recently when he realized I had been absent from Facebook. He’s the only one from a group I met online 20 years ago to check in on me. He tried to make excuses for the others, but if they wanted to check on me, they would have. I’ve been there through a lot of their family things through the years – really hard things they had to endure, but that’s okay that I’ve walked this without them. He’s still by my side, and I’m grateful.
- I am a survivor. I’ve been through some hard things in my life that could have destroyed me, yet I did not allow it to do so. With my faith in God, I have conquered, and with His help, I have climbed the mountains and have stood at the very top praising Him! I can’t honestly say that I’ve praised Him in the midst of trials, because this one is hard to do at times. But, I have tried. I know without a doubt that I’ve clung to Him like never before, though. In the midst of hard times when I’m struggling, you will find me praying to God for help and guidance. He is the first one I turn to!
- I use what I’ve been through to help others in their time of need. I will be the first person to lend a helping hand or at least offer to help someone who is struggling. I realize the importance of being there for people, and that is my goal to be there so no one ever has to feel alone again. Going through the surgery, I still had this on my heart and mind, thus the reason I invited a gentleman to Christmas lunch with my family. He was going to spend the day alone with his dogs, but I could not sit in my warm house surrounded by the love from my family, laughing and enjoying the day, known he sat alone in his house not feeling the warmth of love around him. Three days after surgery, I extended an invitation for him to have Christmas with us – complete with gifts I purchased for him prior to the surgery as well. And I was honored when he accepted the invitation!
In closing, all of the things I’ve learned about myself have been positives. I’m not looking at anything in a negative light. I’m thankful God has given me the gift of another day to spend with my loved ones! Among all that has happened, I feel a closer bond with my family as well. It’s truly humbling when you can’t get off of the couch without assistance and have to depend on others to get in the shower, get dressed, and to even fix your meals. They have given me so much love and have truly cared for me, which has touched my heart. I don’t want to ever be a burden to my family, and thankfully, they have not made me feel as if I am at all. They have willingly given their time and have stayed with me, sometimes out of fear with everything that was happening, but always out of love. My husband’s employer has been super to allow him to be home with me for weeks working remotely, as well as allowing him to take me back and forth to all of the many doctor’s appointments. My daughters have been helping me at home also. I know I am BLESSED, and my heart is truly grateful!
