Follow
There is a certain criteria that must be met in order to have surgery. Even though you’re suffering with severe pain and bleeding profusely, you still have to jump through the different hoops as set forth by the insurance company. It’s so hard to have a positive attitude – despite everyone telling me to look on the bright side – when three doctors have told you that a hysterectomy is needed, yet the insurance “powers that be” keep denying.
It’s frustrating and down right depressing!
I’m required to follow their rules and get a D&C first. Then Lord only knows what else they will “require” of me before I can get the surgery that will improve my quality of life.
If the pain wasn’t so bad … but no, you are doubled over in pain, with a heating pad on your stomach as your best friend on most days.
If the bleeding would just stop … but there is no relief in sight even on birth control pills. Heavy bleeding causes me to wake every 30 to 45 minutes, some times every hour, if I’m lucky.
But follow along I shall … Mr. Insurance Company.
It has to be a man in charge that is “requiring” all of this … yet another thing to torture me because I’m a woman.
Yep, I have a VERY bad attitude, and I don’t see that changing any time soon with what I am forced to endure.
With a husband that had a pornography addiction three short years ago, which caused an adversion toward me in the intimacy department … I’m not feeling too good about the current situation. He wants what I am not able to provide at this point, and when I do, I suffer and endure tremendous pain. I have done this just to make him happy. But, I have little confidence in his faithfulness now when I’m going through ALL of this … I was healthy before, and he was “addicted” to pornography and lusting after women. Yea, the odds are NOT in my favor at this point.
Sucks to be me right now.
This is me, being as real as I possibly can.
The light inside of me is EXTREMELY dim right now, and I’m asking “Where is GOD?”
I’m broken and pretty much hit bottom.
God, I NEED YOU! Show UP and HELP me!
Connect
Have you ever connected with someone on such a deep level that it scared you? Catching you by complete surprise, never expecting you two to hit it off like you did, and yet … here you are!
You met as complete strangers, unsure if you’d have anything in common or would just have to fake it til you made it. Work called, and you two had a job to do. Your coworker soon gets a glimpse of the weirdo that you are, but something amazing happens. They don’t run away. They don’t even laugh that hard at you. Much to your surprise, they allow you to see their inner weirdo, too. And immediately … you connect!
Two weirdos in the workplace!
If you think about it, you spend the majority of your time at work. Eight to ten hours a day are spent talking to or coordinating things with your coworker. You work together as a team. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you went deeper than just coworkers and became friends as well?
AND that, dear reader, has happened to me.
I’m so blessed to be surrounded by people who genuinely support me and care for me. They don’t just ask flippantly, “How are you?” They honestly CARE!
I’ve seen their care and concern just recently, and they’ve prayed for me and over me. To know that you mean something to your coworkers, there is no greater feeling. You aren’t just warming a seat, producing items like a robot. No, you actually matter. And in moments like that, you thank God for such a sweet connection.
Change
Today is my 15th wedding anniversary!
I can still recall just about every moment of our wedding day.
Dressed in lacy white holding my father’s arm with one hand while holding my big bouquet of roses in my other hand, we made our way down the aisle toward my nervous and anxious groom. He was a sight to see in his black tuxedo, all polished like a brand new penny. Our eyes met, smiles formed upon our lips, and each step took me closer to the man I vowed to spend the rest of my life with.
This day I will marry my best friend;
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love …
That verse was included in our wedding invitations. And today it still rings true.
We went into this marriage with great expectations, hoping our love would not change, grow cold or bitter, but would instead grow deeper and stronger with each passing year. We vowed to stand by each other’s side in sickness, in health, for richer, for poorer; the whole nine yards. Planning every detail of our wedding made it all the more special to us, even incorporating the “hands ceremony.”
With our eyes locked upon the other, firmly holding hands, the preacher read off a ritual similar to the below:
These are the hands of your best friend.
They are holding yours on your wedding day
as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours
as together you build your future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you
and cherish you through the years,
and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you
when fear or grief wracks your mind.
These are the hands that will give you
strength when you need it.
May these hands always reach out with
love, tenderness and respect.
May these hands continue to build
a loving relationship that lasts a lifetime.
What a beautiful symbol of the union of two hearts, two lives, and two souls.
Happy anniversary to my love!
