Light, Love, Hope

My daughters are now 20 and 13 years old. I’m reminded daily how fast they truly have grown up. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to hold them in my arms just one more time like I used to do when they were so tiny!

I remember reading a post that brought tears that stung my eyes. It was from a mother recounting the “last” of things. Usually we focus on all of the “firsts.” Yet, before we realize it, we will be dealing with some of the “last” things that we will do with our children. It saddened me greatly because I can relate!!!

Once upon a time, my daughters would let me rock them in my lap, cradling them in my arms. Then, as they grew, they didn’t want to be held in this fashion any longer. They resorted to sitting on the arm of the recliner as we watched television together or read a book. Then even that became a rare occurrence until it didn’t happen any more.

My children are eight years apart. That has been good in a lot of ways, but at one point I feared they would not be close growing up due to their age difference. However, what has happened is they beat the odds and are close despite the difference in their ages! Thank you, God! I promised my youngest daughter that I would try hard not to cling to her with all of my might as her sister became an adult and left the nest. It is hard to even write that my oldest is an adult and will be leaving the nest at some point in the near future. I wanted more time!! Where did the time go?!?! Yet, they cannot stay little forever, and I truly am proud of the woman she has become. I still find it hard to think of a point in time where she will no longer live in my house, ask for me to make her favorite meals during the week, or beg me for money in the mornings before leaving for college. My youngest being 13 years old makes me realize that I only have five more years with HER before it will become a reality yet again.

My babies are growing up!

And that is why I will vow to treasure every single moment with them and hold them a little tighter now every time we hug. That, they will still allow!

Everyone has a story to share. We all have a past, and there are some skeletons in every single one of our closets. There, I said it. The way I see it, there is no use in denying it. While you don’t have to parade them around, you do need to acknowledge it. Why? Because it has made us who we are today.

My story has so many moments of sheer joy, like when my daughters were born and the pleasure I have had witnessing all of their “firsts” and how they’ve matured and grown into beautiful young women. Tragedy is also a part of my story. The day my sister committed suicide two weeks after having her daughter. Life, as I knew it, crumbled all around my feet. The pain was not the same but close when I was eight weeks pregnant and had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. That was one of the scariest things in my life, right up there to the time I flipped a Volkswagen six times in a field on a rainy day when my tire blew out. My sister reached out to grab me as I was flying through the air, with my head hitting the door frame as I was on my way out until she drew me into herself. She saved my life. There are those that say those words in jest. I am saying it with all honesty because I know I was destined to land in a heap in the middle of the field, but my sister literally saved my life that day.

There’s a lot of joy in my life’s story. From my wedding day when white doves were released at the end of our ceremony, to hearing my niece take her first breath and cry as she entered this world, to celebrating my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary and hosting a retirement party for my father after 41 years of service.

Then there’s pain. Regret. Things I would have done differently if given a chance to go back. If I knew then what I know now, things would be different. But, there is no going back. We can only go forward.

Our story, buried deep within our hearts, needs to be told. It is begging to come out and be shared with the world in an effort to help someone else who might be struggling with the same or similar situation. Our story might just provide the hope they need to hold on a little tighter to make it through. We might be the light people are able to find in their time of need that will show them the way to Jesus.

Share your story!

From tragedies such as losing someone to suicide, infant loss, helping someone through the end of their life as they struggle with a terminal illness, addictions of any kind that you’ve overcome whether it’s pornography, alcohol or drugs, SHARE your story to help others!

Someone out there NEEDS to hear it!

Since the recent news I’ve received and the upcoming surgery that’s scheduled, I have to place my trust in the doctor for a successful outcome. While I am nervous, I know that God will be right there with me through it all. I feel in my heart that God has guided this doctor into the field he is in, and I have heard he is a wonderful surgeon. I’m counting on that!

One of the very first impressions I had of this doctor was right there with the contents in his waiting room. How refreshing is it to find bibles and literature about God right there in plain sight?! You don’t find a lot of that in this day and age. My heart smiled when my eyes saw all of the things pointing to God and Jesus. I knew then I was in the right place.

The doctor greets you every time with a hand shake, and he never leaves at the end of your appointment without saying, “God Bless You!”

I have been praying since I learned of the required surgery. Actually, I was praying before that. Now I’m really praying hard! I plan to ask this doctor to pray for me and with me prior to the surgery as well. When they get ready to wheel me into the operating room and right before they put me under, I want him and his staff gathered around me in prayer.

I love my God, and I trust in Him.