Be Present
We all have a list a mile-long of things we need to do. We may also allow ourselves to be consumed by things of the past or worrying about the future. However, instead of being distracted by these things, let’s focus on the here and now. Be present. It doesn’t sound hard until your mind is racing in a million different directions. It becomes difficult, then, to quiet the noise of the “what ifs” or even the “shoulda, coulda, woulda” that tries to take over at times. We have to practice being mindful and being present in the here and now.
This past week, my husband and I took a trip to sunny Florida. For close to a year, I’ve been reading about Anna Maria Island and how beautiful the sugar sand is supposed to be against the Carribean-like waters of the Gulf Coast. Knowing I will be setting out on a new adventure in my career this coming week, I took the opportunity to celebrate the new and exciting things happening in my life. We took a semi-spontaneous trip (we made sure to book an Airbnb before departure) to explore the island before school is out for the summer and before Florida heats up like an oven at 450 degrees!
As we traveled, I received a troubling phone call. Great! Just what I needed to zap the joy and. happiness right out of me as I set out on vacation. Boy, I’m telling you. The enemy tries hard. Do not let him win!
And so, I didn’t.
I was determined to still enjoy this vacation!
It took a lot to reign my thoughts in on several occasions while on this trip. However, dwelling on something I cannot change will only keep my head and heart in an uproar. I had to quiet these thoughts and focus on awareness and enjoying the here and now. These moments won’t come again. Once we live them, they are gone forever, never to return. We can fill these moments with dread, worry, and ruminating over things we cannot change, OR we can take deep breaths focusing on being mindful and bringing our thoughts back to the beauty that surrounds us as we make memories together.
So, we packed up the little hardtop convertible Volvo complete with beach chairs, umbrella, sunscreen, and cooler and headed to the beach! We did just like we did in Hawaii a few years ago and explored several beaches to find our favorite one. Bean Point was our favorite spot to see the sun setting. It is literally the endpoint on the island. While it’s not safe to be in the water due to the rip currents there, it is a gorgeous place to sit on the beach to watch the sun slowly drop on the horizon until it is seemingly swallowed up by the sea.
On this particular day, we woke up to rain. Not just rain. Thunderstorms with a tornado warning in Florida. Oh boy. My dad (oh how I love my parents) even called that morning to prepare us, just in case we hadn’t been watching the weather report. Thankfully, though, the weather wasn’t as severe as we were afraid we were in for, and the rain stopped but was still cloudy as we made our way onto the soft white sand. We had this need to dig our toes in the sand and be “grounded.” We walked along the shore looking for beautiful shells and sand dollars, when suddenly the sun appeared! It peeked out from behind some clouds that were rolling away, and we experienced being sun-kissed for the most perfect 45 minutes! The sun reflecting off of the water revealed its sea foam green and emerald colors. Ah, this is what people were raving about. While not quite like the Caribbean, it still helped restore my soul! I found myself strolling along listening to the waves crashing in and taking pictures of the beautiful colors in the sky silencing the inner turmoil. I was finally present in that moment. No worries, no cares, no troubles rushing in, no thoughts racing and tormenting me. Complete and total peace washed over me like the ocean water rushing to the shore and soaking the powdery sand.
I left the beach that night refreshed and reassured of the beauty that surrounds me in God’s amazing world. Just as things looked cloudy and bleak as I started my day, God reassured my heart and soul with the way things turned around. Still desiring to see the shore, I took off for the beach even when the weather didn’t look promising at first. I would have missed such a blessing had we decided to just call it a rain-day and stay indoors. God revealed such beauty when the clouds rolled away and the sun appeared painting the sky as only He can do. He will do this in your life, too! Don’t give up. Give him a chance to show you that things won’t always be dreary, dark, and bleak. Sunshine awaits!
Be present, yes, and give all of your troubles and worries to Him.
I do not doubt that the prayers of my parents helped calm my troubled heart while on this trip as well. There’s nothing like praying parents, and I’m so thankful for mine!
Mental Health
Mental Health is important, but too often, people do not want to talk about this very important subject matter. Recently on Facebook, I shared information from “To Write Love On Her Arms.” This organization helped my daughter when she was going through a hard time in her life as a teenager. They left such an impression on me when I learned of their mission. I have purchased merchandise from them in the past with shirts displaying the message “Hope Is Real.” That is a message people need to hear and cling to as well, especially when going through dark times in their lives. I feel strongly about supporting this organization with the message they shared three days ago on Mental Health Action Day also; ways to make a change.
This post goes arm-in-arm with Action For Happiness, a ten-day challenge to help you change your focus as you look for what’s good in your life instead of being consumed with what’s gone wrong. We all face challenges in our lives. As both organizations state, “It’s okay not to be okay.” We won’t always walk around with a smile on our faces or a song in our hearts, no matter how hard we try. There will be challenges we face in this life. It’s so easy to dwell on the negative and things that are wrong. It is human nature to look for any dangers we may face and be on high alert to avoid them, but staying in this mindset day in and day out will steal the joy that surrounds us. If we shift our focus for just a moment to things that we are grateful for, it could help our mood and mental health improve. It’s been proven that it helps to write about how you’re feeling. That is the reason this blog was born years and years ago. It is an outlet for me to share how I’m feeling but also to help others know that they are NOT alone in life. It’s my way of offering hope to them and shining a little light along the way.
Experiencing a devastating assault resulted in post-traumatic stress rearing its head, attempting to steal the joy in my life and resulting in many sleepless nights. When you are mistreated and others around you laugh or make light of it, that is another hard blow to recover from not just the physical blow experienced during the assault. Thankfully, God sees to it that evil will not prevail. We may not see justice being served in these people’s lives (even when they admit to what they did and others try to cover it up for them), but trust that God will NOT allow these people to come out on top for very long. It may look like they are getting away with it. Trust that they won’t, though. At some point, they will pay the price for their wrongdoings. They will receive their punishment and others that went along with them will, too.
The truth shall set you free, and I will continue to speak my truth about the assault. My job, in the midst of all of this, is to hold tight to the truth, no matter who sides with the assailant. Further, I am to hold on to my joy that the enemy tries so hard to steal from us. No more! It’s MINE, and I will rejoice in the people who celebrate me, love me, and rally around me, quickly dismissing anyone who doesn’t have my best interest in their heart and mind.
Connecting with supportive people is so important. Nurturing our connections is vital. However, make sure the people you have in your boat are actually rowing with you and not drilling holes to sink it, though. I learned a very valuable lesson about so-called “friends.” No matter what you do for them, they are fickle and easily swayed to turn against you when they are influenced by the wrong people. True, genuine people will love and support you, go to bat for you, and speak up when an injustice is done to you. They will defend your honor even when you are not around. Those are your people, and those are true connections you need to keep. Pay attention to who is in your boat.
I’m reminded of a situation that happened in high school many years ago. I may have written about this here on the blog at one point or another. Yet, I need to share the message. You see, a black young lady named Yvonne was in our predominantly white business classes in high school. One day, a ring came up missing. As a girl was typing in class, she was bothered by the ring she wore, so she took it off and placed it on her desk. Later, she discovered the ring was missing. It was as if it had vanished. No one seemed to know what happened to this ring. They searched for it, and asked others if they had seen it, but the ring was nowhere to be found. A meeting was called by the teachers and the entire class of students taking these business classes. The teacher opened it up by stating the ring was missing, and she asked everyone to go around the table one by one to give their opinion about what happened to this ring. The black young lady became a suspect. She was accused of stealing the white girl’s ring. As each student had an opportunity to speak around the table that day, more accusations were made against this black young lady. They were adamant that she stole the ring. Harsh words were spoken when she was sitting at the table surrounded by her peers whom she thought were her friends. Tears welled up in her eyes, even though she fought so hard to hold them back and not show any emotion as daggers were thrown at her with every negative word spoken against her. When it was my turn to speak, even with all of my classmates glaring at me expecting me to join in stating why I felt Yvonne was guilty, I explained why I felt she was innocent, instead. I’ll never forget the way Yvonne looked up at me, tears threatening to spill out over the rim of her already full eyes, as she lifted her head as I stated why I was supporting her. She had ONE person speak up. ONE. I was happy to be the one even when everyone else was speaking negatively against her. I felt in my heart she was innocent. Finally, when it was my cousin’s turn, she joined me in speaking of why she, too, felt Yvonne was innocent. Two people now didn’t succumb to the pressures of those around them. Two people held firm to the truth about Yvonne. It would have been so easy to side with the rest of the group, yet our hearts made us speak up for what was right and the truth WE knew about our friend, Yvonne. In the end, it was revealed that a white girl stole the ring and took it to a local pawn shop. This girl was supposedly best friends with the girl whose ring was missing. The so-called white “best friend” was positively identified by the employee at the pawn shop. Yvonne was innocent after all. The truth prevailed!
Watch your circle. Make sure your connections and “friends” are truly honoring and supporting you even in rooms you aren’t in at the moment.
It took a while for my friend to recover from the lies and accusations against her. Her mental health suffered throughout this ordeal. I’ll forever remember how she came up to me after she was cleared and thanked me for being who I am and for the words I spoke regarding her character. She hugged me tight with tears in her eyes once more. I knew even if I was the only one to stand up for her, I did what was right even when all the others were against her. She struggled severely with the accusations against her but found happiness once again when the truth was revealed.
Be the person who stands up for what is right. It’s easy to go along with the crowd. It takes courage to stand up and speak the truth.
Modern Menopause
Here’s an Amazon review I posted today on the book Modern Menopause, which is currently available for free with Kindle:
This subject is often not discussed because of women’s fear of aging; however, I was relieved to find this book as it provides a wealth of information! The author spent years researching and studying this topic and has shared her findings to assist women so they do not have to muddle through menopausal symptoms alone anymore.
I love that she provided medical ways to treat menopausal symptoms but also provided holistic remedies as well. Some women are afraid of hormone therapy due to the perceived risks involved. Therefore, other alternatives were mentioned by the author to treat bothersome symptoms.
She even spoke of the sexual side effects menopause can bring and how to deal with these issues so you can continue to enjoy sexual intimacy for years to come. Sex doesn’t have to end when you hit menopause, which is refreshing in and of itself to hear someone actually speak on a topic others remain silent on. When one deals with the frustrations of such effects menopause brings, it is reassuring to have someone like this author remind them that this does not have to be the end of pleasure for you and your partner. I love her approach and feel this book will be beneficial for anyone approaching or going through menopause.
Since her mother passed tragically, she did not have anyone to pass on important information to her on what to expect or how to fight through the symptoms to feel like herself again while going through menopause. A lot of women won’t discuss this life change we all will go through, but it is needed as reassurance that help is available! This author provides that reassurance! If you aren’t comfortable discussing menopause with your friend group or even family members, pick up your copy or download the e-book. The author shares her knowledge, wisdom, and findings of her research to alleviate this stressful period in women’s lives. Exercise and eating right will assist you in fighting the side effects of menopause, but this author provides so much more information. You will feel such reassurance in the author’s words and how she suggests you approach menopause. Buy the book! (Or, at the time of this writing, the book is available for free with Kindle.)
