Remember what it was like when you were young and in love? How you looked forward to a phone call from that special someone and even more so to the upcoming weekend because you would be going on a date with them! Just because we are older now and married does not mean that we have to lose that feeling or that excitement.
Why do a lot of married couples feel that they no longer have to do all of the things that they once did when they were dating? Just because they’ve “caught” the one they were chasing after does not mean that the romance has to end. The days of whispering sweet nothings in your special someone’s ear does not have to cease, and neither do date nights!
I know that with demands from the job, a family, etc., some things fall by the wayside. Romance in your marriage should not be one of them! Make it a priority! If people would continue to do all of the things that they once did to win their mates over, their relationships wouldn’t be in ruins today. Be purposeful about time spent with your mate.
My husband and I have learned this the hard way. Things were great in the beginning of our marriage. We were happy and so much in love. Then other things started creeping in, and we stopped making our marriage a priority. We focused more on the children, our jobs, household chores, everything BUT taking time out for each other and our marriage. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, then, what happened next. We started drifting further and further apart. We felt disconnected from each other. The slightest little thing would irritate us or aggravate us. We couldn’t quite put our finger on what was going on!
Do not let this happen in your marriage!
We finally realized that something was missing, and we became intentional about the time we would spend together. We started making time for each other. All other things had to wait on days that we would plan an outing for just the two of us or a romantic evening together. We would make sure that the children were well taken care of, and then off we would go!
Whether we spent time on a dinner cruise, walking hand in hand on the beach, or grooming horses in our backyard, it was time spent together doing something that we enjoyed. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, unless you want it to be. It’s just important to spend time together. One of my most favorite things to do is just talk. Hold hands across the table as we are dining out, and just talk to each other without a lot of interruptions, except from the waitress occasionally checking on us. Then take a walk by the water’s edge holding each other as we pause to look up at the moon and the stars sparkling for all the world to see but feeling in that moment that they’re dancing just for us.
This may seem small and like one of those “where have you been” moments! Just know that this happens more often than you may think in relationships and marriages. That is why it is so important to make time, be intentionally focused on your mate, and spend time together. Continue to keep the love, romance, and passion alive in your marriages. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married five years or fifty years. Show your spouse that they are important to you, that you love, cherish, and treasure them, and that nothing else matters in that moment but them.
My husband and I aren’t just planning a date night this time. No, today we are taking an entire day to go on an adventure together – just the two of us. I am looking so forward to our time together. As he was sitting near me drinking his coffee this morning, I asked him for his thoughts on this whole subject of date nights. Here is his response, in his own words:
I have really enjoyed our time together. It gives us time to reconnect and appreciate each other. My wife is a blessing to me. I feel much closer and the bond is greater than before. It’s like another level of intimacy has entered our marriage, and I look forward to our time together. It makes me appreciate my wife, care for her, and cherish her even more. My world feels complete when we’re together talking, snuggling together, holding hands, hugging … just showing affection. It’s huge! I have also realized that this is key in a relationship to maintain the connection, to show the other that you care and appreciate them. You reach out to them for no other reason than to hold them, to have that actual connection, to share your feelings.
I will leave you with that as we begin our adventure together today. Make time for those that you love. Carve out time for memory making moments together.
August 24, 2014 @ 5:28 pm
As a relatively new parent, my husband and I just went on a date for the first time in 6 weeks. We *must* start doing this more regularly!
August 24, 2014 @ 11:27 pm
Absolutely, Keiko! I know it will be hard now with a new baby, but please see if there is a way to incorporate this at least once a month or every other week right now. It will be difficult to peel yourself away from your new baby, but your thriving marriage will thank you!
August 24, 2014 @ 8:07 pm
My husband and I need to work date nights into our lives more. We get so busy and stressed.
August 24, 2014 @ 11:26 pm
It is so very important, Daisy.