This week I had a lot of time on my hands as I stayed two nights in the hospital with my loved one after surgery. While the patient was sleeping, I began reading The Flirtation Experiment co-written by Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer. The book allowed me to pass the time instead of watching the clock, which seemed not to be moving especially in the wee morning hours. It allowed me to also reflect on my own marriage and how to enhance certain areas. Do you want to see sparks fly like when you two first met and fell in love. I do! ~wink~. (Side note: Our marriage of 19 years is going strong, no need to worry. We could be seeing fireworks like the 4th of July, and I’d still want to see more fireworks. Same applies here. Pour on the love, affection, attention, romance, passion … you get the idea. We have those now, but I want MORE! I’m greedy in that regard. ~At Least I’m Honest!~)
Each turn of the page allowed an intimate look into the marriage of Lisa and Phylicia. They were vulnerable putting it all out there, but they did so in a very classy way. At the end of some chapters, they added words from their husbands, Matt & Josh. They were open about their lives, issues they struggled with (like getting too comfortable due to burn out at their jobs thus seeking to shut off there minds at night and just watch television instead of connecting with each other at the end of the day). They expressed how they experimented just to see what would happen and how it improved their already wonderful marriages. They were both pleasantly surprised at the changes in themselves and in their husbands.
What if all readers implemented small changes into their marriages to enhance it or bring the magic back?! What if they already had magic but were longing for more because you just can’t get enough of a good thing (guilty as charged!)?!
Now hear me when I say the book doesn’t promise to perform a miracle in your marriage. It also does not promise to change your husband. The only person you can change is yourself, if you choose to accept this challenge. But, your husband will see the change in you and will likely follow suit as well so you have better quality time together, which is a win-win!
One thing about growing up in a Christian environment, women feel as if they should not seek out their husbands in a sexual way. Why is it always the man’s job to initiate affection, such as holding hands, hugging, and even … ~gasps of horror, I’m gettin’ ready to say it~ … SEX?! It shouldn’t be, as our husbands would like to know we find them attractive and desirable, too. It shouldn’t be a one way street! Now, with this book, it is as if Lisa and Phylicia are pointing out scriptures and giving you permission straight from the Bible for women to stop feeling like men are the only ones that are supposed to initiate things. It is perfectly okay for women to pursue their husbands in this way. AND men will LOVE the change when you start pursing them. (You can still be a “good girl” by doing this no matter what you were made to believe growing up or in your younger days as a Christian wife. Sex should not be a “wifely duty.” The term, to me, is repulsive. If you look at sex as a “duty” and aren’t being fulfilled, something is wrong and we encourage you to seek help in that regard from a professional. You two should be mutually enjoying intimacy through sexual intercourse with each other!)
Romance is in all of Hollywood movies, but it isn’t real life all the time. Women desire romance. Some times men just don’t have a clue in that department, so there is nothing wrong with women showing them how we would like to be romanced. Some times they don’t put forth effort like they used to, so step up and do it instead!
This book goes beyond ones I’ve read in the past, such as The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. We have read this book and others like it. I know my husband’s love language, and he knows mine. As in any marriage, though, it takes effort to prioritize your spouse. Your life is busy. I get it. With raising your children, taking them to their activities, helping with school work, tending to the chores awaiting you at home after a long day at work, it gets too easy to put romance on the back burner.
Don’t do it!!
Start today with this challenge. I won’t promise that immediately you will go from the television sit com Married With Children to the movies that repeat on The Hallmark Channel oozing with romance and passion. But, it’s a great start!
Take hints from these two ladies and see what they implemented and how their husbands responded. Use some of their ideas on your own marriage or use this book to get you thinking of what would work specifically with your husband and your marriage. You know your spouse better than anyone. So put on your thinking cap, turn into your inner Cupid, and reignite the passion that is still in there buried under your adult responsibilities.
Make your marriage a priority! Since this is Valentine’s weekend, it is the PERFECT time to start, but don’t stop there! Keep it going.
Let the sparks fly!
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Many thanks to HarperCollins Christian Publishing for providing this product for review. While I did receive a copy of this book in exchange for my review, the opinions expressed here are all mine.