We all have a longing to fit in. We want people to like us, and when they don’t, it can get into our head. What you need to remember in times like these is that God is for us. He loves us so much, He gave His only son for us!
People pleasing gets us no where either. We are the ones that end up suffering because we try so hard to please everyone around us. It just is not possible! No matter how hard we try, there will be someone knit picking us.
Criticism hurts. No one likes to be critiqued on every little thing or have someone find fault with how you do things, say things, etc. It makes one feel as if they will never be “good enough” because no matter how hard you try, there is someone picking you apart. It affects our self esteem and self confidence.
I can’t help but think about a card I sent my grandmother many years ago. I may have been 10 years old at the time. My family mentioned how my grandmother was lonely during the day, Upon hearing that, I made a special point to write out a card to her. I sealed the white envelope, placed a stamp on it, and took a stroll to the mailbox. I just knew my card would cheer her up. It was my desire for her to feel so much love when she read the words written straight from my heart. Sadly, that is not what happened. Instead, upon receiving my card in the mail, she called to say, “Next time use a better pen. The ink smeared on the envelope. You could hardly read what it said.” There I sat with my good intentions squashed all because of the type of pen I chose to use. Honestly, I never even thought about the pen. I had no idea the envelope would get wet, either, as it made its way to her house! Instead of her being appreciative of her young grandchild sending her a card with words of love inside, she found fault. She focused on the smeared ink on the front of the envelope. Needless to say, I was crushed. If she felt the need to mention the pen, it would have been better taken had she shown any type of appreciation of the love that was poured into the card.
It is so easy to find fault, to knit pick, and to be negative. Real effort has to be made to focus on the positive for the vast majority of us. Why is this? Is this who you are truly longing to be? If not, you CAN change that. Take a good look at the person looking back at you in the mirror. That is the only person in this world that YOU can change. That’s it. That’s all. You can’t change a single person other than yourself.
Today is February 1, 2022. We are one month into the new year. Take some time to examine yourself and think of how you can shift into a more positive frame of mind before you ever open your mouth the next time you’re tempted to do so. A person grows weary and just plain tired of someone harping on them about this or that. Take time to appreciate the person and what they have to offer the world.
If someone is working on a project with you, appreciate what they bring to the table. Maybe their way of doing things doesn’t line up with yours, but as long as you both get the same end result, what does it matter? Is it really that important to belittle their way just because it’s not YOUR way? Or maybe you have experience that says this is the only way it will work, then along comes Little Miss Muffet who sat down beside you to offer her way; a short cut! If it works in the end to give you the final product you desired, you both win! It should not be a power struggle, but often times, it is.
What about offering positive feedback when your human nature is to express how negatively you feel at any given moment. Compliments go a long way. An “atta boy/girl” or “way to go” has the power to perk someone right up, while words of criticism will ring in that person’s ear long after they were spoken.
There are so many people ready to tear others down, and some that do this on a daily basis. Be different! Focus on the positive. Be that person’s biggest fan or their ultimate cheerleader in life. You never know what someone is going through at any given moment. Your words can bring life or death for others around you. Choose to breathe life into someone and offer praise where possible and words of affirmation.