Problem
It can be interesting how a person reacts to a problem. Some people will shy away and do anything to avoid it hoping it will go away. Others will hit it head on to resolve it and may just cause more issues. There seems to seldom be an in between reaction.
When I run into a problem in life, I am the kind of person that sits and listens before deciding on how to handle things. The Lounge developed into an interesting problem for me in regards to the relationships in my life.
Everyone has an opinion. As time passed in the Lounge and relationships formed, I was being given opinions by people inside and outside of the situation. As I think back, if I would have taken the advise of certain people, I would have walked away from the Lounge and my life would have been completely different. They saw what was going on in the Lounge in some aspects as a problem for me that I needed to walk away from.
My way of handling these conflicting opinions was to divide my life into sections. In each section were certain people and I never let the sections meet. You could say I lived multiple lives. It probably wasn’t the best choice, but it seemed to work. Keeping the opinions of people I cared about in separate buckets kept me from feeling awkward and kept me from being quizzed and having to explain my actions.
Now that those people are gone, I don’t have that separation to deal with anymore. Whether or not what I did was the correct way to handle it, I still don’t know. That only thing I know if that it kept me from hearing, “You need to get away from that situation”, comment over and over again.
Saver
Quite often, I have been referred to as the “picture queen” by my friends and family. It’s a long, known fact that any time I am around, a TON of picture-taking will ensue. My family will sometimes groan loudly when they see the camera come out, and then silliness will follow. I end up taking several pictures trying to get “the” best shot because of their shenanigans.
Then the questions start, “WHY do you take soooooo many pictures?!”
Because I am a memory saver. That’s what I do!
I take so many pictures because I want to look back fondly on those memories in years to come. I want to relive those moments, and in flipping through old pictures, I am allowed to take a step back in time to reminisce.
This has been so important to me through the years because of the family and friends we have lost along the way. I don’t want to ever “wish” I could see their face again. I want to surround myself with pictures of them so I can forever look back at the times we were happy together.
Long after a person has passed away, I want their memory alive in the stories we share about them. I want them to live on through us and the pictures we took.
Memories are so special to me, and I want to safeguard them! That’s why I write on this blog as well. I pray there is never a time when my memory fails me. I don’t want dementia or Alzheimers to take me away from my family. I want my memory to be as clear and vivid as the day we shared special events and happenings together. I want to preserve as much here as I can for my daughters, should they wish to read my words one day.
Common
I often sit thinking whether or not it is common for other people to feel the way I do. Most of the time I feel alone and lost. I don’t feel like I am part of anything or that I fit in anywhere. I am by myself so I don’t have any one around that I can talk to when I need to talk. Then again there is my issue with not being very trusting of letting out how I feel about things because of the way I have been burned in the past.
That makes me wonder a lot about how other people feel about things and why they do the things they do. Is it common for people to act a certain way because they have some hidden want to need that they feel needs to be fulfilled and it doesn’t matter what they need to do or say for them to get it?
