Light, Love, Hope

Be still, and know that I am God.

Psalm 46:10

I often cling to that bible verse at times when I am not sure what the next step in my life needs to be.  If there is something troubling me, and I am feeling as if I don’t know what to do … I just be still and know that He is God.  I have full faith and confidence that while I don’t know what to do and certainly don’t know what the future holds, God does!

Recently my husband and I were trail riding at a plantation when we met a nice lady that was out walking her grandson on her horse.  He was just a little tot, and his grandma was smiling from ear to ear as she made her way around to us.  She stopped to speak to us, as a lot of friendly campers do, and we ended up having a nice conversation where she encouraged us to spend more quality time together as a couple.  She said that what happens is that couples are so busy parenting and doing all for the children that when the children grow up the married couple doesn’t even know each other any more because they have spent so little time together during those years.  That is so sad, but it happens more often than we realize.   Just as this lady encouraged us to spend more time together, we are urging you to do the same in your marriages.  Be intentional about disconnecting from the world and reconnecting with each other.

As you’ve heard me mention in this series, we love trail riding and being one with nature.  There is a lot to be said about the peace and tranquility you find on the back of your horse in the middle of the forest!  You are surrounded by God’s beautiful creations, and you’re riding on a majestic animal.  You are one with nature, and out there, you feel closer to God!  I know I do!  While I enjoy a good ride with my horse, there is something extra special about riding side by side with my husband on his horse.  We have actually been able to get our horses lined up to where we can ride along together holding hands.  We enjoy the peace and quiet all while feeling the love flowing out of one and into the other just by the mere tips of our fingers touching the other.

Another thing that we like to do is go fishing together.  Even if we don’t catch a thing, we are together on this journey as we go down the river dodging fallen trees and stumps.  On one of the last trips we took down the river, it started to rain … hard!  We raced through the water to seek cover under a bridge until the rain passed.  We just thought we would wait it out, not realizing that Mother Nature had no plans of slacking off any time soon.  Instead, the rain started coming down even harder and at an angle, so we were still getting soaked in the boat under the bridge.  Then we decided to just go for it and rush back to the landing to seek cover in the truck until it all blew over.  Ha!  Rain was coming down so hard that it was getting all in our eyes where we could barely see where we were going.  Some people would have been cursing at the wind at that point, but I just let out a really loud squeal and turned my face toward the rain and laughed so hard as it beat down upon my skin.  I threw my hands out to each side and felt as if I was sailing right through the storm, and there was such freedom in that moment.  My husband started laughing, too, and although we looked like drowned rats when we made it back to the landing, we enjoyed this time together in the great outdoors!  We purposely disconnected from work phones, personal cell phones, computers, iPads, iPods, beepers, etc., and focused on being together!    And it was refreshing being with the one I love without any distractions, other than the pouring rain that caught us off guard.  It felt good disconnecting from the world for a little while and reconnecting with each other.

There are times now that we will just go out to our RV and sit in it in our yard.  We find our way out there by the light from a tiny flashlight, and then we sit in the dark inside the RV.  Some times we will take our camping lantern with us and let it glow on the inside as we sit together and just talk.  Last night was one of those RV nights, and we ended up staying out there for three hours talking by the light of the lantern.  And … it felt GREAT!  Nothing mattered for those three hours except HE and I in that RV right there in our yard, connecting, sorting some things out, and talking together sharing our hearts.  That is priceless!

While the above with horseback riding, going on fishing trips, or camping will not be everyone’s cup of tea, find what works for you and your spouse.  The point is to just disconnect from it all for a little while and focus on just being together reconnecting with your mate.  Disconnecting from the world and focusing on each other will help restore a vital thing that has been missing from your marriage.

Join us tomorrow for … A Day To Play

For all posts in this series, click here.

Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection

God, my shepherd!  I don’t need a thing.  You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from.  True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction.

Psalm 23:1-3 MSG

Families are busier today than they have been in generations past.  We are so busy rushing here and there that it seems we have more packed in our schedules resulting in less time spent together as a family.  Couples rarely see each other, and then they wonder why they feel distant.

It really is okay for families and couples to say NO more often to extracurricular activities that crowd our schedules and take over every waking moment we have!

When do you take time to relax and rejuvenate?  When do you rest and quiet your soul?

My dad just said this past week that our schedules are too packed for him.  He said he does not see how we do it and knows that he just could not keep up with going like we do.  Even on weekends, we are going here or there.  It sounds odd, but in a way, I believe he was giving us permission to just … be.   It is like we think we have to keep our hands busy at all times with different things that we’re doing or places that we’re going, and he was just letting us know that it really and truly is okay to take time to rest, relax, and just do absolutely nothing!   That is hard for my husband to do, though, as he has a lot of what we call nervous energy where he cannot seem to sit still for very long.  For me, though, some of my most favorite weekends are spent inside watching movies with my family.  I especially love rainy days or Winter days where it is just too cold to be outside – that is when we put on a big ole pot of chili or potato soup and watch a movie marathon all snuggled up together under our shared blankets.  Some times we will even make a fort for my youngest, which thrills her to no end!   When it is nice outside, though, it is harder to give into the urge to just relax because guilt sets in.  We have to retrain our brains to know that it really is okay to rest!

One of my most favorite bible verses says:

Be still and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10

Be still.

Why is that so hard to do?

If more families and couples would focus more on keeping it simple instead of packing their schedule so full, think of the quality time you could all spend together!

One of my most favorite things to do in my “being still” moments is get on the back of my horse, Sugar, and ride in God’s beautiful countryside.  I literally rode beside still waters on a trail ride recently, and I could feel the stress leaving my body with every step that my horse took.  As she lowered her head almost in reverence to God above, my soul was restored right there in the middle of the forest.

While I’m talking about my horse (my friends and family know that my face lights up immediately at the mere mention of my horse’s name), just last week I rode Sugar around the entire perimeter of our yard.  The sun had already set, and the stars began to appear.  Right there under the sparkling blanket of shimmering lights, I prayed out loud as Sugar carried me.  I thanked God for all that He has done for our family and for how He is working in our lives.  I thanked God for keeping His hand of protection over my entire family, our children, our parents, and our marriage.  I felt my soul at peace right there under the vastness of the sky in the wide open space … my partner and I.

Take time with the ones you love, and allow yourself some down time.  Rest, rejuvenate, restore … be still and know that He is God.

Join us tomorrow for … Disconnecting From The World.   (Little did I realize today while writing this that tomorrow’s chapter goes hand in hand with what I just wrote above.  I truly am reading this one chapter at a time and applying my thoughts daily.)

For all posts in this series, click here.

Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

It will not always be smooth sailing in your marriage.  Hard times will come that will test and try you both in your marriage.

As Cindi and Hugh wrote in their book:

One of the greatest gifts of love we can give to our spouse is to help carry his or her burden, or to simply walk alongside him or her during the tough times.  Jesus said if we call ourselves His followers we must pick up our cross and follow Him.  We believe the fact that a man and woman are made one in a marriage relationship means we are to come alongside our spouse and help carry whatever burdens he or she is facing.

We truly do learn a lot about our spouses when we are in a crisis situation.  When things are going along wonderfully in our lives and in our marriages, we tend to take a lot of things for granted.  Our spouse is one of them.  We forget to appreciate our spouses and we tend to take our spouses and all of our blessings for granted.  We become selfish and think only of ourselves a lot of the times, too.  Consider the bible’s definition of love:  Love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Our spouses need us, especially in a crisis situation.

In March of this year, I was thrown from a “green” horse (meaning, a horse that was not broke to ride – but we did not know this at the time!).  I suffered a fractured hip and a fractured hand, along with a concussion.  Thankfully it was not any worse than it was, but that was my crisis situation.  I needed my spouse as there were times I could not do things physically for myself.  I just was not able to do so in my condition.

Thirteen years ago, we lost my sister to suicide.  I needed my spouse then, too, but in a different way.  In that crisis situation, in the middle of this tragedy, and the aftermath of suicide, I needed my spouse to be there with me physically, yes, but I needed my spouse emotionally as well.

My husband has had things from his past that he has been dealing with since April that has haunted him tremendously.  He has sought counseling and is working through some serious issues.  He needs me to be there for him emotionally especially when releasing his feelings is so new to him and something that boys are taught growing up that you simply don’t do.  If you’ve ever heard “real men don’t cry” … just know that I think this is the greatest disservice that society has done to little boys who grow up to be men that have suppressed their feelings all of these years after being taught this lie!  Now these little boys are men who are unable to relate on an emotional level.  They have been taught that it’s not okay to show emotion, and so, they appear distant and emotionally unavailable.   I’d much rather have a man that is not afraid to show his emotions and can feel free to share how he is feeling with me any day over someone “appearing” strong on the outside just because that is what they’ve been told that they “have” to be.

These are just a few examples of crisis situations where we’ve truly needed the other to come alongside of us.  However, even when we’re not in a crisis situation, we need our spouses to be there even in the most simplest of ways to carry our burdens or lighten our loads.  Even the smallest of things can help when a spouse is feeling overwhelmed or stressed.  Taking the vehicles in for maintenance so your spouse is freed up to do other things around the house is one way of lightening the load.  Or, even sharing the load … if one washes, dries, and folds the clothes, the other can put them away.  Such little things can go a long way to helping your spouse.

Whether it’s little things or big crisis situations – be there for your spouse and help carry their load or their burdens right alongside of them.  You are a team.  You’re in this together for the long haul.  You are on the same side!  You are partners for life!  Now act like it!  No one else needs to “be there” for your spouse more than YOU need to be there for them … in every way!  You should always … always … be able to count on your spouse to be there, whatever the need.

Join us tomorrow for:  Keeping It Simple.

For all posts in this series, click here.

Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection