Is There A Thief In Your House?
I saw a saying on Facebook this week that went something like this:
You would never invite a thief into your house. So, why would you allow thoughts that steal your joy to make themselves at home in your mind?
That statement makes a very good point, but I thought it needed a little more. Thus, this blog post was born!
We do it all the time! You know it’s true as you’re guilty of it yourself. Intrusive thoughts worm their way into our minds throughout the day. Some times we can quickly dismiss them when we realize the garbage that is trying to fill our heads. Other times it is hard to stop obsessing over those same thoughts that just will not go away.
We beat ourselves up over things in the past. Things that we have no power to change now. The past is history. It’s over, except for the memory left behind. Good or bad, it is up to you whether you allow the good from the situation to remain engraved in your memory or whether you will allow the bad that occurred to overshadow the fun times and good memories. Which would you rather focus on? Surely not the bad. Then why DO we allow those bad thoughts to remain? Kick them out! Don’t let them live in your head any more. They threaten to steal every bit of your joy and happiness.
It sounds silly to even say this, but I’m going to any way. When an intrusive negative thought just will not go away, command it to do so. Even if you have to say STOP! out loud – DO IT! Force those negative thoughts out by the power of that one word and allow good memories to rush in to take their place. If this doesn’t work, try putting a rubber band around your wrist. If you find yourself obsessing over a negative thought, something that brought you pain in the past, or a situation that was simply out of your control, pop that rubber band! Once you feel the sting of it against your wrist, it will bring you back to the present day and make you realize that the pain that thought provided was not just emotional pain and mental anguish, now it is physically causing pain. This alone should be enough to make you stop hurting yourself with the thoughts that you’re allowing to remain.
Whatever it takes, replace the negatives with positives! Drive out the negative thoughts with bible verses that you’ve memorized. Drive out the negative thoughts by reciting a poem. If that fails, then put on some of your most favorite music and turn it up as loud as you can stand it. Then sing to it to the top of your lungs. I promise you that you will feel better afterwards! But please … don’t put a sad song on repeat. Find something uplifting that will leave you feeling like you’re ready to soar through the sky afterwards like a beautiful eagle or a butterfly visiting the various different flowers on a bright afternoon. Let the music lift you higher and take you to your happy place.
So answer truthfully. Is there a thief in your house? Consider your head the house that we’re speaking of at this point. Have you allowed negative thoughts to occupy your mind? Have they strolled through, kicked back on the couch in your mind and put their feet up while they sip coffee, refusing to leave you in peace? If so, it is time to kick that thief out! Do not allow them to steal one more happy thought from you. Do not allow the thief to take one more positive thing from your mind that is the house. Drive the thief out.
It will take practice, but you can redirect your thinking. It is possible if you view your brain, mind, or your thoughts as the horse and you as the rider. That horse likes to be stubborn at times and do what it wants to do. It wants to go where there is no trail and carry you through briars and bushes, getting you all tangled up along the way. By the time this horse finishes, you’re battered and bruised. But, you can take back control at any time. Pull back on those reins before it’s too late, and redirect this horse. You are the confident rider taking charge and are back in full control again.
Take action today and no longer allow your thoughts to run away with you.
You CAN do this!
I have faith in you.
Nothing Personal
Have you ever read a status update on Facebook and just knew that your friend was talking about you or that post was meant specifically for you? If you have, consider that maybe it really and truly was nothing personal. Maybe it was just a generic post that was put up because the individual that posted it liked what it said. Or, maybe the situation warranted that saying in the past but may not apply currently; however, they just like the way it sounds.
It is hard when we’re in an emotional state not to take things personally. If we could reprogram our brains to function rationally at all times and not emotionally, we would never run into this problem. Here’s the thing. We are humans, and thankfully, we do run off of emotions. That is not a bad thing, but it does get us into a little bit of a pickle on occasions.
There are those that wander around in this world so closed up emotionally that hardly anything bothers them because it simply cannot get past the walls that they’ve put up. Then there are other people that are the complete opposite that wear their feelings on their sleeves. I tend to be one of those people, although I have tried really hard not to take everything on! I have tried to take a deep breath when I have been upset to try to ground and center myself, but there are times when I am not as successful as I would like to be in this situation.
I have been told that I am driven by my emotions. There have been others that have told me that I am “too sensitive” as if that is a character flaw that I possess. In my opinion, it’s not. I would rather be the way that I am any given day than to be someone that is so closed off emotionally that they will not allow another person into their hearts or their lives.
It does take a lot to trust someone and to allow them in to see the real you. In opening up emotionally, you make yourself more vulnerable. A lot of people think that leaves you wide open to being hurt, used, and abused. Not so fast. I would rather live my life as an emotional, sensitive being loving others and trusting them to love me in return than I would to close myself off from the rest of the world. Yes, loving means taking a risk of being hurt. To me, love is worth it and so much more. I’m not just speaking about romantic love but love of friends as well.
If others have hurt you in this life, whether it is a situation of the past that is still troubling you or something that has just recently happened, please know that God is close to the brokenhearted. He will bind up your wounds. He will be there to comfort you and fill you with His unconditional love if you only allow Him to do so. Let God in, and consider tearing down those walls so that others are allowed into the inner depths of the chambers of your heart. Not everyone is out to hurt you. There are some out in this cold, cruel world that just want to love. Allow us to wrap our love around you.
Date Nights
Remember what it was like when you were young and in love? How you looked forward to a phone call from that special someone and even more so to the upcoming weekend because you would be going on a date with them! Just because we are older now and married does not mean that we have to lose that feeling or that excitement.
Why do a lot of married couples feel that they no longer have to do all of the things that they once did when they were dating? Just because they’ve “caught” the one they were chasing after does not mean that the romance has to end. The days of whispering sweet nothings in your special someone’s ear does not have to cease, and neither do date nights!
I know that with demands from the job, a family, etc., some things fall by the wayside. Romance in your marriage should not be one of them! Make it a priority! If people would continue to do all of the things that they once did to win their mates over, their relationships wouldn’t be in ruins today. Be purposeful about time spent with your mate.
My husband and I have learned this the hard way. Things were great in the beginning of our marriage. We were happy and so much in love. Then other things started creeping in, and we stopped making our marriage a priority. We focused more on the children, our jobs, household chores, everything BUT taking time out for each other and our marriage. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, then, what happened next. We started drifting further and further apart. We felt disconnected from each other. The slightest little thing would irritate us or aggravate us. We couldn’t quite put our finger on what was going on!
Do not let this happen in your marriage!
We finally realized that something was missing, and we became intentional about the time we would spend together. We started making time for each other. All other things had to wait on days that we would plan an outing for just the two of us or a romantic evening together. We would make sure that the children were well taken care of, and then off we would go!
Whether we spent time on a dinner cruise, walking hand in hand on the beach, or grooming horses in our backyard, it was time spent together doing something that we enjoyed. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, unless you want it to be. It’s just important to spend time together. One of my most favorite things to do is just talk. Hold hands across the table as we are dining out, and just talk to each other without a lot of interruptions, except from the waitress occasionally checking on us. Then take a walk by the water’s edge holding each other as we pause to look up at the moon and the stars sparkling for all the world to see but feeling in that moment that they’re dancing just for us.
This may seem small and like one of those “where have you been” moments! Just know that this happens more often than you may think in relationships and marriages. That is why it is so important to make time, be intentionally focused on your mate, and spend time together. Continue to keep the love, romance, and passion alive in your marriages. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married five years or fifty years. Show your spouse that they are important to you, that you love, cherish, and treasure them, and that nothing else matters in that moment but them.
My husband and I aren’t just planning a date night this time. No, today we are taking an entire day to go on an adventure together – just the two of us. I am looking so forward to our time together. As he was sitting near me drinking his coffee this morning, I asked him for his thoughts on this whole subject of date nights. Here is his response, in his own words:
I have really enjoyed our time together. It gives us time to reconnect and appreciate each other. My wife is a blessing to me. I feel much closer and the bond is greater than before. It’s like another level of intimacy has entered our marriage, and I look forward to our time together. It makes me appreciate my wife, care for her, and cherish her even more. My world feels complete when we’re together talking, snuggling together, holding hands, hugging … just showing affection. It’s huge! I have also realized that this is key in a relationship to maintain the connection, to show the other that you care and appreciate them. You reach out to them for no other reason than to hold them, to have that actual connection, to share your feelings.
I will leave you with that as we begin our adventure together today. Make time for those that you love. Carve out time for memory making moments together.
