Imperturbable
On the morning of my loved one’s surgery, it seemed like anything that could go wrong did! We were originally told to report at 9:00 a.m., then 9:15 a.m. Driving from an hour away, you have to anticipate traffic delays, which we did. However, another family member traveling with us had bathroom issues that delayed us further. Instead of hitting the interstate, we had to go the opposite way to find a bathroom. Ugh! We made it just in time but had to call the manager of Pre-Op/Recovery at the hospital to let them know we would not be arriving until 9:30 a.m. With the surgery slated for 11:15 a.m., we were still good on the time.
Once at the hospital, we encountered one administrative staff after another policing us on the Covid restrictions in place. I spent a solid week trying to get the Covid exemption so two members of the family could be present due to the wife of the patient having somewhat of a disability requiring my assistance in order to be present. I sent an email to a man who helped us previously with another situation, and he circulated the email to the Vice President. My email ended up making its way to the manager of Pre-Op and Recovery, to the doctor performing the surgery as well as to the charge nurse on the surgical floor. The vice president agreed to allow a Covid exemption. All medical staff were aware. It was the administrative staff at the entrance of the hospital, information desk, and at the desk in Pre-Op/Recovery giving us trouble. It was a fight when it did not need to be! I had to give names of the staff who knew of the Covid exemption to get past the bulldogs. Obviously, these people were left out of the loop on pertinent information pertaining to our unique case. I tried to remain imperturbable through it all, but after the fourth person agrued with me over this, I admit my patience were wearing thin at that point. It was almost as if these people took a class on being argumentative. They must have all been straight A students for sure, if that was the case.
Waiting in the surgical lobby is stressful enough without all of this going on! You wait to hear how the person is doing before, during and after surgery. The medical team did a great job keeping us updated, which helped calm our nerves somewhat.
After learning he was out of surgery but having trouble waking up in recovery, I fought yet again with another of the administrative staff. He was to be transferred to the sixth floor, and we were being directed to the floor not knowing if we would be allowed to stay with him in his room or not. We were lectured about the Covid protocols and restrictions, even though we explained the vice president allowed an exemption for us so two people could be present under the unique circumstances. It was truly tiring to fight this hard over something that was taken care of at a much higher level.
Once up on the sixth floor, though, we did not encounter any problems whatsoever from the nurses, the techs, etc. All of the medical team were wonderful, and it reassured us that our loved one was in good hands. They not once told us we couldn’t be there, didn’t lecture us and didn’t try to eject us from his room. We were greeted with warmth and kindness. He had to be in the hospital for two nights, and they made us feel as welcome as possible while we were his “guest” in the hospital. This was certainly appreciated so I could focus more on caring for them between nurses making their rounds instead of arguing why I needed to be there in the first place.
One cannot rest in a hospital setting, so the first night it seemed the hands on the clock were barely moving at all. I recall at 8 p.m. looking at the clock as he exclaimed in his medicated state, “It’s ONLY 8 p.m.?! It’s going to be a LONG night!” And it was …
By the second night, we were so wore out we all but passed out from exhaustion. Stronger pain medicine was given to the patient, which allowed a good night’s sleep. Their snoring was music to our ears, as we were so thankful their surgery was a success and they were still with us!
Elegance
You come across a variety of people when working with the public. Some you encounter are extremely pleasant, while others leave a lot to be desired. You never know what to expect!
I recall a gentleman who called the law firm back in December on behalf of his mother. We set up an appointment with the attorney and had the paperwork prepared prior to their arrival. At the scheduled time, a tall gentleman entered the office to make sure he was in the right place. Once he was certain he had the right office, he stepped out into the hallway. Shortly thereafter, a petite elderly lady, full of elegance and grace, appeared in our doorway. Instantly, I was struck by her well groomed appearance and red suit she wore. We offered her a seat while giving her son the paperwork. As I waited for the paperwork be completed, I attempted to make small talk while inquiring on her age. I was quite surprised to learn she was 97 years old and making arrangements should she require the assistance of a nursing home later in life.
Now, this lady certainly did not look her age at all. I watched in awe as she moved around the office as she left the lobby and entered the attorney’s office. One would expect someone of that age to require assistance getting around. She carried a cane but rarely used it. Even her son had to remind her later to get the cane prior to exiting our office after their appointment was complete. She was definitely independent and still lived alone. I was dumbfounded!
Once their appointment was coming to an end, the attorney asked her the secret to her longevity. She replied, with a laugh, “Aggravation.” We laughed with her but never fully understood what she meant by that comment. Did she mean aggravation from others, or did she mean she was the one causing the aggravation? Later, we laughed at the thought of this perfectly poised lady causing trouble.
May we ALL be blessed to enjoy 97 or maybe even 100 years of life.
Feeling Flirty?
This week I had a lot of time on my hands as I stayed two nights in the hospital with my loved one after surgery. While the patient was sleeping, I began reading The Flirtation Experiment co-written by Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer. The book allowed me to pass the time instead of watching the clock, which seemed not to be moving especially in the wee morning hours. It allowed me to also reflect on my own marriage and how to enhance certain areas. Do you want to see sparks fly like when you two first met and fell in love. I do! ~wink~. (Side note: Our marriage of 19 years is going strong, no need to worry. We could be seeing fireworks like the 4th of July, and I’d still want to see more fireworks. Same applies here. Pour on the love, affection, attention, romance, passion … you get the idea. We have those now, but I want MORE! I’m greedy in that regard. ~At Least I’m Honest!~)
Each turn of the page allowed an intimate look into the marriage of Lisa and Phylicia. They were vulnerable putting it all out there, but they did so in a very classy way. At the end of some chapters, they added words from their husbands, Matt & Josh. They were open about their lives, issues they struggled with (like getting too comfortable due to burn out at their jobs thus seeking to shut off there minds at night and just watch television instead of connecting with each other at the end of the day). They expressed how they experimented just to see what would happen and how it improved their already wonderful marriages. They were both pleasantly surprised at the changes in themselves and in their husbands.
What if all readers implemented small changes into their marriages to enhance it or bring the magic back?! What if they already had magic but were longing for more because you just can’t get enough of a good thing (guilty as charged!)?!
Now hear me when I say the book doesn’t promise to perform a miracle in your marriage. It also does not promise to change your husband. The only person you can change is yourself, if you choose to accept this challenge. But, your husband will see the change in you and will likely follow suit as well so you have better quality time together, which is a win-win!
One thing about growing up in a Christian environment, women feel as if they should not seek out their husbands in a sexual way. Why is it always the man’s job to initiate affection, such as holding hands, hugging, and even … ~gasps of horror, I’m gettin’ ready to say it~ … SEX?! It shouldn’t be, as our husbands would like to know we find them attractive and desirable, too. It shouldn’t be a one way street! Now, with this book, it is as if Lisa and Phylicia are pointing out scriptures and giving you permission straight from the Bible for women to stop feeling like men are the only ones that are supposed to initiate things. It is perfectly okay for women to pursue their husbands in this way. AND men will LOVE the change when you start pursing them. (You can still be a “good girl” by doing this no matter what you were made to believe growing up or in your younger days as a Christian wife. Sex should not be a “wifely duty.” The term, to me, is repulsive. If you look at sex as a “duty” and aren’t being fulfilled, something is wrong and we encourage you to seek help in that regard from a professional. You two should be mutually enjoying intimacy through sexual intercourse with each other!)
Romance is in all of Hollywood movies, but it isn’t real life all the time. Women desire romance. Some times men just don’t have a clue in that department, so there is nothing wrong with women showing them how we would like to be romanced. Some times they don’t put forth effort like they used to, so step up and do it instead!
This book goes beyond ones I’ve read in the past, such as The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. We have read this book and others like it. I know my husband’s love language, and he knows mine. As in any marriage, though, it takes effort to prioritize your spouse. Your life is busy. I get it. With raising your children, taking them to their activities, helping with school work, tending to the chores awaiting you at home after a long day at work, it gets too easy to put romance on the back burner.
Don’t do it!!
Start today with this challenge. I won’t promise that immediately you will go from the television sit com Married With Children to the movies that repeat on The Hallmark Channel oozing with romance and passion. But, it’s a great start!
Take hints from these two ladies and see what they implemented and how their husbands responded. Use some of their ideas on your own marriage or use this book to get you thinking of what would work specifically with your husband and your marriage. You know your spouse better than anyone. So put on your thinking cap, turn into your inner Cupid, and reignite the passion that is still in there buried under your adult responsibilities.
Make your marriage a priority! Since this is Valentine’s weekend, it is the PERFECT time to start, but don’t stop there! Keep it going.
Feeling flirty?
Let the sparks fly!
Order your copy today by clicking here!
Many thanks to HarperCollins Christian Publishing for providing this product for review. While I did receive a copy of this book in exchange for my review, the opinions expressed here are all mine.
