With the data breach and hacking on the ashleymadison.com website, a lot of people have been forced to “come clean.” While the focus has been on the Duggars and poor Anna (the cheating husband’s wife), there are many other faceless victims out there. I say faceless because they aren’t as well known as the Duggars, and their pictures aren’t on the news, in entertainment magazines, or websites. They are the faceless victims that discover the truth about a spouse that they loved and gave their whole selves to without hesitation at one point. Now, they are trying to grasp the sanity that is quickly escaping them as they find out the truth about someone that was once their entire heart and soul, their life, and their future. Feeling unsure of what the future may hold now, they sit in shock, wondering if feeling will ever return to their grief stricken bodies and knowing full well that when it does, it will bring the most excruciating pain ever imaginable with it.
Loss of appetite. Loss of sleep. Feeling sick to your stomach as if you could vomit at any given moment. These are just the beginning when you realize the truth about someone that kept this part of themselves hidden for so long. The tears, the unrecognizable sobs that escape your mouth that seem to come from your very toes … it hurts THAT much.
When it finally comes out, can they honestly say that it was worth it all? The lies, the cheating, the betrayal, the withholding information, the deception. Was it worth it? Was it worth losing your family over? Some times, people even lose their jobs, their livelihood. In the end, was it worth it? Those pictures, the magazines, the porn videos that only leave you wanting more, the sex addiction that progresses to seeking out “hook up” sites for casual sex or prostitutes … the extramarital affairs, one night stands, or even curiosity of what those dating sites might hold … was it worth it in the end when you lose your family and your job?
How many would go and do it all over again if they knew the high cost of their actions?
It had to be difficult living a double life. They had to be extremely miserable as they tried to act as normal as possible while feeling anything but … deep inside they probably felt dirty and like the piece of trash they were looking at on the computer screen or talking to via email, texts, or maybe even in person if it progressed to that point.
Why get on those sites in the first place? They’re not there seeking a good wholesome individual to settle down and raise a family with. Why won’t they realize that people on those sites are not people they would want to introduce their children to. These are NOT the type of people to be proud to bring home to Mama either. So why the draw to such individuals? What is so attractive about lowering themselves to this point to consider being with these types of people? For what? A few moments of pleasure? Whether they’re pleasing themselves or sleeping with someone while their devoted and loving spouse sits at home feeling neglected, lonely, and unloved … why such a high appeal for this type of life?
Now the information is readily available and accessible for ALL of their wrongdoings. God already knew, and I believe God hung His head and wept each time they took part in ANY of the dishonorable things that they were doing. He cried because this is not the life He wanted for His child – neither the one doing it nor the one that it was being done to. I believe it grieved Jesus. Imagine the heart wrenching cries from their spouse … and even more coming straight from Jesus Christ.
It’s time for it to stop. All of it. If they would only come clean and never go back there again.
For those that have been doing it, you’re going to get burned. If you don’t believe me, ask ANY person that was once wrapped up in this sin. They didn’t get out of it unscathed. Neither will you or your family.
In coming clean, they free themselves from the web of lies that they’ve spun, and they free themselves from the bondage that this had on them. They break the chains that tied them to the stuff that they once did in secret, in darkness, and kept hidden for way too long. Oh the distance they have put into place between those that love them and those they proclaim to love.
The anger they feel stems from the double life they were living, the lies they told, and covering their tracks. They would be amazed, if they would only realize, how freeing it will be when they finally get tired of living this double life, come clean, and STAY clean while walking the straight and narrow now in their relationships and marriages. This will no longer have a stronghold in their lives so the anger that has welled up inside of them will be replaced with peace. God’s peace. God’s love. God’s forgiveness.
It’s time for the healing to begin. Only with God’s help is this possible.