Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
It will not always be smooth sailing in your marriage. Hard times will come that will test and try you both in your marriage.
As Cindi and Hugh wrote in their book:
One of the greatest gifts of love we can give to our spouse is to help carry his or her burden, or to simply walk alongside him or her during the tough times. Jesus said if we call ourselves His followers we must pick up our cross and follow Him. We believe the fact that a man and woman are made one in a marriage relationship means we are to come alongside our spouse and help carry whatever burdens he or she is facing.
We truly do learn a lot about our spouses when we are in a crisis situation. When things are going along wonderfully in our lives and in our marriages, we tend to take a lot of things for granted. Our spouse is one of them. We forget to appreciate our spouses and we tend to take our spouses and all of our blessings for granted. We become selfish and think only of ourselves a lot of the times, too. Consider the bible’s definition of love: Love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Our spouses need us, especially in a crisis situation.
In March of this year, I was thrown from a “green” horse (meaning, a horse that was not broke to ride – but we did not know this at the time!). I suffered a fractured hip and a fractured hand, along with a concussion. Thankfully it was not any worse than it was, but that was my crisis situation. I needed my spouse as there were times I could not do things physically for myself. I just was not able to do so in my condition.
Thirteen years ago, we lost my sister to suicide. I needed my spouse then, too, but in a different way. In that crisis situation, in the middle of this tragedy, and the aftermath of suicide, I needed my spouse to be there with me physically, yes, but I needed my spouse emotionally as well.
My husband has had things from his past that he has been dealing with since April that has haunted him tremendously. He has sought counseling and is working through some serious issues. He needs me to be there for him emotionally especially when releasing his feelings is so new to him and something that boys are taught growing up that you simply don’t do. If you’ve ever heard “real men don’t cry” … just know that I think this is the greatest disservice that society has done to little boys who grow up to be men that have suppressed their feelings all of these years after being taught this lie! Now these little boys are men who are unable to relate on an emotional level. They have been taught that it’s not okay to show emotion, and so, they appear distant and emotionally unavailable. I’d much rather have a man that is not afraid to show his emotions and can feel free to share how he is feeling with me any day over someone “appearing” strong on the outside just because that is what they’ve been told that they “have” to be.
These are just a few examples of crisis situations where we’ve truly needed the other to come alongside of us. However, even when we’re not in a crisis situation, we need our spouses to be there even in the most simplest of ways to carry our burdens or lighten our loads. Even the smallest of things can help when a spouse is feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Taking the vehicles in for maintenance so your spouse is freed up to do other things around the house is one way of lightening the load. Or, even sharing the load … if one washes, dries, and folds the clothes, the other can put them away. Such little things can go a long way to helping your spouse.
Whether it’s little things or big crisis situations – be there for your spouse and help carry their load or their burdens right alongside of them. You are a team. You’re in this together for the long haul. You are on the same side! You are partners for life! Now act like it! No one else needs to “be there” for your spouse more than YOU need to be there for them … in every way! You should always … always … be able to count on your spouse to be there, whatever the need.
Join us tomorrow for: Keeping It Simple.
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Buy the book on Amazon: When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection