Guys, are you having trouble speaking her love language? If so, there is a book specifically for men as they seem to need it spelled out for them a little more than women do in this area. The book is by Dr. Gary Chapman entitled The 5 Love Languages For Men. It is similar to the original Love Languages book that Dr. Chapman wrote some time ago, but this lays it all out for us men folk and breaks it down so there is no way possible for us not to “get it” now.
Dr. Chapman breaks it down so that by the time you finish this book, you can speak fluently in Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gift Giving, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Not only that, but there is also a section on working through anger together as well as the art of apologizing, which is huge!
What have I, personally, learned while reading through this book? I now know which items are high on my wife’s list and what makes her feel the most loved, which is of the utmost importance. I used to think that Acts of Service was high on her list, yet now I’ve realized that she really craves Quality Time and Physical Touch the most. In addition, I would surprise her with gifts here and there, and while she does like that, that is lower on her list than I originally thought as well. What surprised me the most is that while Words of Affirmation are high on my list, they are not on my wife’s list. When she prioritized the list so I would know what makes her feel the most loved, Words of Affirmation was LAST on her list. When I asked her about this, she said it is because while you can “say” things to make someone feel loved, actions speak louder than words!
Something that stood out to me was when Dr. Chapman spoke of quality time leaving you with lasting memories. Also, another thing that resonated with me was that people are “listening” but not actually “hearing” what someone is saying. He gave practical tips to get you started so that you focus more on “hearing” what is being said instead of waiting for your chance to respond. Also, don’t do things while your wife is talking. Focus solely on her and let her share about her feelings. Validate her!
If you’re not convinced yet, feel free to comment below if you’d like your very own copy of this book. It’s packed full of useful information on how you can fill up your wife’s love bank. And if you incorporate these things into your marriage, your wife will not be disappointed! This book will ensure that you’re well on your way to speaking her love language!
~Dusty, Shirley’s husband. 🙂