We always talk about UFOs and aliens, but entertain this thought for just a minute. What if the aliens are looking down at Earth shaking their head saying, “Humans are strange creatures!” Because, the truth of the matter is that we ARE!!
This thought popped into my head as I also thought of how strange we are when we have any adversity that comes our way. Friends and family will just stop speaking to each other over a disagreement. They will avoid the person that has offended them at all cost. At times, I have been guilty of this as well if the person’s offense was extreme and toxic. However, if you’ve been friends with someone for 20 years or longer, why cut ties completely over a difference of opinion or a disagreement? Isn’t the friendship worth salvaging? If it meant something for you guys to hang on to each other for 20 years – what in the world could ever come between you all that much to cause you to just flat ignore and act like the person and friendship never existed?! Or, did you hold on to the friendship out of convenience when you didn’t have anything better to do? Did your parents tell you to remain friends all that length of time? Surely that wouldn’t have influenced the friendship to that extreme. It just puzzles me why humans do this to each other. When you once cared so much about the other, and now you act like they are not even on Earth?
Why do we do this to each other?
I can understand if someone was abusive toward you physically and you needed to put distance. Run far, far away from the abuser and never look back!! But why do this to a friend that has shared so much with you through the years?
We have all heard it said many times, and we have often said it ourselves: “Life is too short!” The truth is that life IS short, so why waste a minute of pettiness like this? Why stop talking to someone you love due to a misunderstanding or a difference of opinion? Why haven’t we grown as a society to where we can be adults and talk about how we feel, get it out, and still remain friends at the end? Now, the norm is that we express ourselves and then turn on “ignore mode.”
That is just wrong on SO many levels!!
Have I been hurt by people? Yes.
Have I been offended by people? Yes.
Has there been misunderstandings with others through the years? You bet!
Have I even been the one to hurt, offend, and misunderstand others? Yep, I sure have. That isn’t something I am proud of, but because I am human, it has happened in my life. If I’m honest, it will probably happen again through the years, even when that is never my intention.
As humans, we have feelings, and it is hard not to allow those feelings to get in the way. We can say that we’re as strong as an Oak tree, and yet something can bring us to our knees. It’s because we do feel so deeply, and that is a blessing and a curse in itself. It’s a blessing because you get to share the wonderful parts of life with others and FEEL love! At the same time, because we have loved, we made ourselves vulnerable to where we can be hurt by the very ones that love us and whom we love.
Maybe what that person said or did wouldn’t hurt so much if we didn’t care that deeply for them.
Maybe if we thought they should have said or did something contrary to what they actually did, it still would not hurt as much if we didn’t care as deeply as we do.
I just believe in reaching out and extending the olive branch. Bring the confrontation, disagreement, or misunderstanding to a close by reconnecting. Agree to disagree, if you must, because we won’t always see eye to eye. That is just another human trait we possess in having our unique personalities and ways about ourselves that are different from others.
The point I’m trying to make is that life IS short. None of us know what tomorrow may bring or if there will even be a tomorrow. Why let thing continue as they are in “ignore mode.” Why not reach out and make amends?
Don’t misunderstand me here. If someone is clearly toxic, abusive, or manipulative “gaslighting” you and things of that nature, I am NOT encouraging you to reconnect with someone that seeks to harm you. I am, however, encouraging you to search your heart. If this individual means anything at all to you or has in the past, reconsider the silent treatment you’ve been giving them.
Forgiveness is also a beautiful thing.
What if the person did something you felt was just horrible for speaking up when you acted foolish or called you out on your nasty behavior? If they did it with the best of intentions and with a heart of love for you, consider that in all of this and forgive … as you would want to be forgiven.
None of us are perfect. We fail miserably at times, and you know what? At other times, we may behave the way we do because we have gotten so comfortable with the other that we think no matter what, all will be forgiven. Maybe you feel you have opened up so much to the other party that you share such a bond that nothing could ever come between you, so you speak out. You speak up. You share your heart and you give them a little piece of your mind while you’re at it. Because … you trust that your friendship, your bond, your connection is just that strong to withstand and persevere.
Then one day, it doesn’t, and you’re left wondering if you ever really meant anything to this person that now has you on “ignore mode.”
It does not take a mature person to ignore.
It takes an absolute adult with a heart of gold, though, to reach back out, let bygones be bygones, and pick that friendship back up and go on loving each other … as Christ first loved us!