It took a couple days for mental back and forth before throwing caution to the wind and logging back into that “place.” The next test was what in the world do I say?
I have always been awkward in social situations. I don’t know what to say or I feel like I will sound stupid no matter what I say. So, it is much easier for just sit off to the side and listen. You could say I was the perpetual president of “The Wallflowers of America – Illinois Chapter.”
Being this way all my life, I have learned to listen. So that is what I did once I went back. I listened, or in reality, just read posts. I read and read. You start to get really good idea of what a person is like with the way they express themselves in print. What words they choose. What phrases they use.
I would throw out the occasional post which more often than not had absolutely nothing to do with the conversation going on. The magical thing is that a certain person would almost always respond. It became at times what you might called a verbal waltz. Dancing to the whisper of a hidden orchestra playing behind the words on the screen.
After a time, I started to feel more at ease. You see that is important to people that are like me; quiet, reserved, and basically afraid to initiate most forms of communication. Feeling at ease is important to most people but some of us it is first and foremost in our minds.