Today we are picking back up on Chapter Two of The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers New Edition: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively
Your teen desires for you to nurture them. Teenagers who have a warm, caring, encouraging and positive emotional environment will blossom as they reach maturity. Abuse is so detrimental to a teenager, whether it is in the form of physical abuse (hitting, slapping, pushing, shoving, etc), or whether it is emotional abuse (calling them names, belittling them, etc.) I pray that no one would ever mistreat a child in this manner. However, in the world we are living in today, just about every time you turn on the television or flip open a newspaper, there are stories of children that have been abused. Sadly, the ones that are abused often times turn out to be violent because they have been traumatized by the abuse they have endured and they are so incredibly starved for love.
Be a nurturing parent!
Emotional love is so very important to your teenager. It truly does affect every aspect of your teenager’s life! When your teenager feels as if no one cares for them, they will lack motivation and feel as if they do not even need to bother to try because no one cares any way. How truly sad! Let’s work to fill our teenager’s love tank so that they know without a shadow of a doubt that they ARE loved completely, totally, and unconditionally!
When a teen’s love tank is empty, they will not have the ability to empathize with others. When they do not feel loved, it will be incredibly difficult for them to understand how his/her negative actions might affect someone else and have an impact on their feelings. Lack of empathy also affects the teenager’s development of a conscience and also affects his/her moral judgment.
What is the teenager’s most basic need? FEELING LOVED!
In the words of Psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend:
There is no greater ingredient of growth for your youngster than love.
When a teenager does not feel loved by the parents and/or other significant adults in their lives, they will go looking for love in all the wrong places. Honestly, this is why so many teens are drawn to gang activities. They do not feel loved and accepted elsewhere, so when a group starts to make them feel included and a part of something, they will be drawn to it. The negative role models then recruit the ever so vulnerable teenagers and before they know what is happening, they are engaged in criminal activity with the group that has been so accepting toward them.
Have you ever considered why teenage girls have babies so early? Because they have a deep desire for love and just want someone to love them … When the baby is born, the teenager now has someone that is completely dependent upon them, but they also have someone that loves them completely, filling a need and desire they have had that has remained empty for so long.
Dr. Chapman says at the end of this chapter:
As I have shared this material in parenting lectures across the country, many parents have found that the application of these truths has radically changed the behavior of their teens and has given the person feelings of deep satisfaction that whatever else they are doing as parents, they are being effective in meeting their teens’ most important emotional need. That’s my desire for you as well.
Join us tomorrow as we discuss Chapter Three, Love Language #1, Words of Affirmation!